Why Criminals Make Bad Teachers
by Atama Ga Kuru Teru
Summary: Three seemingly innocent *And crazy Narutards* girls get kidnapped by the Akatsuki. Of course, they acted as innocent as Tobi so the Akatsuki had to give them 'the talk'. Little did they know that they already knew...and will new feelings bubble up?
1. Chapter 1

_Why Criminals Make Bad Teachers _

_Chapter 1_

One peaceful, calm afternoon at Tenshi Akuma High School...

"YUKI GIVE ME THAT PICTURE OF THE AKATSUKI BACK!"

"NUUUH! They're shirtless....and are wearing skinny jeans! Give me my chocolate bar back first Zenaku!"

Scratch that. One extremely loud and crazy afternoon....

"FINE! But you're an annoying bitch you know Yuki..." Zenaku muttered. Yuki looked at her with glistening hazel chibi eyes.

"Too far?" Zenaku asked, sweatdropping. Yuki nodded and held out her arms.

"Hug? Pwease?" she pleaded, using the puppy-dog look on her friend. Zenaku sighed. How could she resist that look? She unwillingly held out her arms, getting glomped by Yuki.

A raven-haired girl sighed and tapped Yuki on the shoulder.

Zenaku chose this moment to edge out of Yuki's strangling grasp. Yuki laughed delightedly and hugged the other girl.

"Shizuka! Did you bring it? Did you? Did you?!" Yuki jumped up and down manically. Shizuka nodded and handed Yuki a Deidara phone-charm.

"Yes!" Yuki squealed, clutching it to her chest.

"Hey Shizuka, give me something too!" Zenaku whined childishly, while glaring with ice-blue eyes, which since she was whining like a kid completely removed the evil threat.

"Here." Shizuka handed Zenaku a lollipop. She blinked and took it, looking surprised.

"Uh…thanks?" Zenaku answered, sounding confused, and brushed dark blue hair out of her eyes.

Shizuka gave her a small smile, and tugged on her Edward-Elric-like- hair-antenna.

Zenaku laughed and playfully slapped her hand away. Yuki chose this moment to giggle insanely.

Shizuka's eyebrow twitched, and she resisted the urge to slap Yuki over the head, and tell her to get a grip. Zenaku just looked curious.

"Hey you know preppy-pig?" Yuki asked, a disturbing grin on her pale face, purple hair looking ruffled, making her look slightly crazy.

Zenaku shivered dramatically, while Shizuka's amethyst eyes lit up in remembrance.

"Weeeellll…." Yuki continued, "Since I'm guessing we want her dead, after what happened, I have an idea." Shizuka's gaze sharpened. Oh, she could remember what happened all right.

Having nearly been 'accidentally' hit by a car, while the driver just so 'happened' to throw hot coffee out the window at you, makes you and your friends remember like hell.

"What do you suggest? The enemy must be taken down at all costs." Shizuka asked coldly. Zenaku stifled a laugh.

"We sound like ANBUs planning to kill an S-rank ninja." She grinned then sobered slightly,

"But I will kill her. I'll slowly skin her alive and pluck out her still beating heart!" Zenaku finished in an angry growl.

Yuki laughed madly and pulled a jar of cod-liver oil out or her trouser pocket.

"The hell….?" Zenaku stared, wondering if she was gonna drink it, "Ew. Seriously. I am not drinking that, I'll stink like fish forever."

"Makes you pity Itachi, since he travels with Kisame." Yuki noted, "Anyway…Let's 'accidentally' poor this over piggy's head. Oh, and she has to drink some as well."

Zenaku grinned sadistically, while Shizuka nodded icily, though amusement flickered in her eyes.

"Let's kick some butt!" Yuki cheered, giving Zenaku a high-five.

Shizuka rolled her eyes and muttered, "Idiots." She was immediately sent glares which melted into happy looks.

"WE LOVE YOU TOO!" Zenaku and Yuki cheered, wrapping pale arms around Shizuka's shoulders.

"Look." She hissed. Yuki and Zenaku released her and glanced about the room, their gazes settled on a blonde haired girl, whose hair was obviously dyed.

"Perfect." Zenaku smirked.

"Zenaku. Go get the pig. Yuki go help if any problems arise." Shizuka commanded.

The two girls nodded, and Zenaku leapt across the room, grabbing the blonde pig by her arm, and dragged her to Yuki and Shizuka.

"Let me go freaks!" The pig shrieked angrily.

"Give me the bottle Yuki." Shizuka instructed coldly, she was going to make this bitch pay for hurting her, and more importantly, her friends.

Yuki quickly handed it to her, trembling with excitement. Zenaku forced piggy's mouth open.

"You will drink." She hissed as Shizuka uncorked the bottle and shoved the spout in the blondes mouth, who was grimacing and making muffling cursing noises.

She drank it, and Zenaku let her go.

"YOU SLUTS WILL PAY FOR THIS!" The pig screamed shrilly.

"Oh the fear." Zenaku remarked sarcastically, rolling her eyes.

"It takes more to scare us then that, you fuzz-bag!" Yuki added, seeming pleased her revenge plan worked out.

"Ever threaten us again and we'll do more then that." Shizuka said calmly, before poring the rest of the oil over the blondes head, then expertly chucking the bottle across the room, and with a little 'plop' it fell into the bin.

"Nice shot." Zenaku noted, smiling.

"Oh my cheeseburger!" Yuki laughed, tears of mirth coming to her eyes, "THAT WAS EPIC!"

Shizuka turned her head and grinned at her insane friends, and answered happily, "Thanks."

"OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS!" The teacher bellowed, "What happened?!"

"Oh great." Yuki groaned while Zenaku slapped her forehead and…Shizuka stared at a fly on the ceiling boredly.

"They did it!" The pig cried, pointing at the three psychos.

"LIES!" Zenaku yelled loudly.

"DENIAL!" Yuki roared, pointing at Zenaku, then glanced at Shizuka, waiting for her to say something.

"….Emo fudge?" Shizuka remarked, wondering what else she could say.

"You need to be more random." Zenaku scolded while Yuki sighed and nodded dramatically.

"Zenaku Kuroyami, Shizuka Kirai-Aijin and Yuki Ryu go to the principles office NOW." The teacher commanded, and scratched her hooked witches-like nose.

"Certainly Miss Fisher." Shizuka said calmly and grabbed Yuki's arm and dragged her out of the classroom, Zenaku followed and stuck her hands in her pockets, giving Piggy a death glare that makes little children run away crying.

_- - - In the Principles Office - - -_

"What have you done now?" The principle asked and sighed.

"Nothing!" Yuki protested.

"We forced Britney Woodside to drink cod liver oil, and then poured the rest over her." Shizuka stated, while Yuki glomped Zenaku in the background.

"What's our punishment Mrs. Smith?" Zenaku questioned from the floor, Yuki sitting on her back.

"I PLEAD THE FITH!" Yuki screamed randomly, "THEY'LL NEVER TAKE US ALIVE!"

"Ow…Yuki, I needs air to live…and I like living…" Zenaku groaned. Yuki jumped off her and pulled her up, grinning, and leaned on her for support.

"I'd suspend you but all your grades girls are too good so…you can clean your classroom after school." Mrs Smith answered, giving the girls a small smile.

"Aw….cleanup duty?" Yuki whined.

"Yes, cleanup duty Yuki. And wear the school uniform." Mrs. Smith scolded, "Now back to class."

Yuki looked down at her outfit. Dark trousers, purple tank top saying 'NYA BITCHES!', regular trainers, a cat-eared hood thing and an amethyst bracelet.

"But I like my clothes." She muttered sadly.

Zenaku blinked at the principle, and glanced at her outfit_._

Loose black jeans tucked in knee-high black leather boots, a plain black t-shirt saying 'Save the trees, wipe your ass with an owl' in light blue writing and fishnet gloves.

"Hell no. I'm not wearing the uniform." She mumbled and patted her boots fondly.

Shizuka scanned over her outfit. It looked okay to her.

A black skirt that went a little bit above the knees, but not so short it made her look slutty, a black collarless shirt with a loose purple tie around her neck, black ballet pumps and laced up fingerless gloves_._

"Hn." she murmured, studying her dark purple painted nails.

"Back to the oh so wonderful class." Zenaku said, sarcasm practically dripping from her voice.

"C'mon my little fish popsicles!" Yuki exclaimed happily, hooking her arms with Zenaku and Shizuka, and pulled them out of the stuffy room.

The principle watched them leave and stifled a laugh. They _were _good students, though they had a habit of beating up preps and annoying the hell out of Miss Fisher, not that anyone cared about the old hag.

"Well, they'll certainly make school more interesting." She muttered and grinned, "Yes, I think they will."

- - - Meanwhile… - - -

"Miss Fisher, Yuki threw clay at me!"

"Lies, I tell you lies!"

"At least it's not dog crap…"

"Art is a bang! I need explosive clay…."

"Hell no Yuki."

"Zenaku's so mean! Isn't she mean Shizuka?"

"…..Hn."

"DAMMIT STOP BEING SO EMOFUL!"

"Never Yuki."

"Fudger."

"Rage."

"Shut up Zenaku!"

"NEVAH!"

- - - - -

**Sooo....Did you like it? This chapter was written by Rose/Kaharri. Make sure to vote on the poll! AND REVIEW DAMMIT! Have a whipped cream fulled day! Thanks for reading! And I don't own Naruto (Sadly) and Amaya and Yuki don't either. And for the fIrst chapter I've dragged in...HIDAN!**

**Hidan- What the ?! *Goes in cursing-full rant***

**Rose- *Sweatdrops* Yeah...see ya in the next chapter!**


	2. Chapter 2

_Why Criminals Make Bad Teachers_

_Chapter 2_

……………._After School Clean Up Duty…………………_

"Man this sucks!" Yuki pouted. She was scraping gum off the desks.

"Well it's your own fault that you chose that job," Shizuka told her.

"Yeah, that wasn't very smart, but oh well, I got the good job," Zenaku grinned. She was reclining in the teacher's chair with her feet folded lazily on the desk. She was eating chocolate.

"You have no job," Yuki deadpanned, "Oh my gosh, that's not gum! That's… eww, it's a booger! Who the hell picks their nose during class!?"

"What do you mean, I have no job? I'm supervising, it's a huge responsibility," Zenaku stated, throwing the chocolate bar wrapper in the trash can, "Besides, at least I wasn't stupid enough to choose your job, Yuki."

"But I thought that there wouldn't be that much gum!" Yuki whined, "Whatever, I'm quitting this job. Shizuka, switch me jobs."

Shizuka, who was dusting some of the old books at the back of the room, shook her head, "I don't think so, plus you're almost done."

"I am not! This is the only desk I've done so far!"

"Heh, sucks to be you!" Zenaku grinned. She took another chocolate bar out of her pocket, "Hey Yuki, if you finish your job in ten minutes… maybe I'll give you this wonderful, delicious, creamy milk chocolate, chocolate bar." She waved it in front of Yuki. Yuki's eyes followed the chocolate bar like a dog would with a bone.

"C-chocolate bar…" she stared at it in amazement.

"Remember, ten minutes," Zenaku reminded. Yuki scrambled back to the desks with determination in her eyes and started scraping.

"Got to get the CHOCOLATE!" she got done with the first desk in thirty seconds.

"Sometimes I wonder about you two," Shizuka said from the back of the room.

"Yeah, but you love our craziness," Zenaku laughed. Shizuka just sighed and went back to dusting.

"Done!" Yuki stood up, "I'm done with my job! Now time for that chocolate bar!" She ran toward Zenaku, trying to grab the chocolate bar from her hands. Zenaku pulled it away from her.

"What do you mean? This is my chocolate bar," she shook her head.

"B-but you said that if I finished in less than ten minutes that I could have it," Yuki protested.

"Did I say ten minutes? I meant ten seconds!" she grinned evilly.

Yuki looked like she was trying not to strangle her, "Give… me… the… chocolate!"

"Nope!" Zenaku ran away to the back of the room joyfully. She hid behind Shizuka, "Help me, she's going to take my precious chocolate bar! It's too sacred! She can't have it!"

"You guys… why don't you just share it," Shizuka sighed, on the verge of exasperation. Zenaku was about to reply when she was cut off by the classroom door opening. The Mrs. Smith poked her head in.

"You guys are free to leave now, but I don't want this happening again, which it really shouldn't because I've fired Miss Fisher," she smiled. All three girls' eyes widened in sync.

"Y-you've worked a miracle!" Yuki stared at her like she was the Akatsuki picture that she held so dearly.

"Yes… how did you fire her? Was it like, 'YOU"RE FIRED', or 'Miss Fisher, I'm pleased to inform you that you will no longer be working at my school', or was it 'GET OUT AND NEVER COME BACK!'?" Zenaku asked excitedly.

"None of those unfortunately," the principal laughed, "I just told her she was fired with an e-mail… I… never really liked to fire people because I automatically rehire them when I see their sad faces."

"Well… you've done something that even makes me happy and non-emo," Shizuka nodded in approval.

"I'm glad to hear it, but like I said, your cleaning time is up. You girls can go now," Mrs. Smith told them.

"Thank god, this cleaning has made me tired," Zenaku sighed.

"I'm not even going to argue this time," Yuki shook her head.

…………… _Later……………._

The three girls walked down the sidewalk.

"I'm glad it's Friday," Zenaku said, licking the lollipop that Shizuka had given her earlier that day.

"Me too, now it's time for our monthly sleepover!" Yuki yelled. She grabbed Zenaku's and Shizuka's arms and started skipping, "Come on my fish popsicles!"

The three entered Yuki's house a couple minutes later.

"Hello girls, why are you so late from school?" Yuki's mother inquired.

"Uh… extra credit! C'mon guys!" she bounded down the stairs, and down to her basement where they usually hung out during sleepovers. There were a couple old sofas arranged around an old television. There was an old refrigerator stocked with Pepsi and various other types of pop.

"Now, let the sleepover COMMENCE!"

**- - - - -**

**Ok, I know this chapter wasn't as long… but I hoped you liked it a lot. I don't own Naruto and neither do Kaharri or Yuki… that's too bad… darn. Okay, so now I shall ask my friend Tobi if he likes the story so far, even though he and the rest of his friends haven't come into the story yet. By the way, this chapter was written by… *drumroll*… Amaya!**

**Amaya: So, Tobi did you like the chapter.**

**Tobi: Yes! Tobi is a good boy!**

**Amaya: That's good, glad you enjoyed it!**

**Rose- Hey, I've randomly popped in and I just wanna say, thanks for the reviews! Reviews make more updates so REVIEW!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Why Criminals Make Bad Teachers **

**Chapter 3**

**Enjoy! Sorry it's short!**

**- - - - -**

"So…what now?" Zenaku asked, flicking through Naruto volume 1.

"Internet time!" Yuki announced, pulling out her laptop, showing them Youtube, " Right, what should we watch slaves?"

"We are not your slaves." Zenaku and Shizuka deadpanned. Yuki pouted.

"Awww…fine. But we're watching Naruto Abridged!" Yuki answered, typing it in on the laptop.

"What one?" Shizuka inquired, sipping a Mountain Dew.

"The one with Itachi and Kisame in it." Zenaku answered, peering over Yuki's shoulder.

"I like that one." Shizuka stated calmly, though she looked happier. Zenaku laughed at her.

"Do you like Shark-bait or something?" she teased jokingly, grinning. Shizuka made a face of disgust.

"That's disgusting Zenaku." Shizuka said, death-glaring her friend.

"That's cause you go for the emos, not the fish!" Yuki piped in happily.

Shizuka slapped her on the back of the head, not too gently.

"You meanie!" Yuki shrieked and hugged Zenaku, anime-crying into her shirt.

"Yuki." Zenaku sighed.

"Yes?"

"Go apologise to Shizuka and I'll give you chocolate. Oh...one more thing… YOU'RE GETTING MY SHIRT ALL WET!" Zenaku threw Yuki off and watched her land in a jumbled heap on the floor.

"I'm sorry Shizuka! Forgive me?" Yuki cried dramatically.

"Yes." Shizuka sighed, and patted Yuki's head like one would do with a dog.

"Yay! Now Zenaku chocolate…and I might let you use my internet so you can do…whatever the hell you do." Yuki bribed, smirking crappily.

"Deal. And Yuki…" Zenaku pause, and handed Yuki a bar of the sugary goodness.

"Mmmm?" Yuki mumbled curiously through a mouthful of chocolate.

"You suck at smirking." Zenaku stated calmly and settled for watching Naruto Abridged.

_- - - - After watching Naruto for three hours - - - -_

"Awww…..look at Shizuka, she fell asleep." Yuki whispered to Zenaku, who was doing something on the laptop, "Hey, what are you doing anyway?" and looked over her shoulder at the screen.

"You like?" Zenaku asked curiously. Yuki blinked a few times.

"Zenaku, why the heck are you looking at yaoi pictures of the Akatsuki?" Yuki questioned, looking slightly disturbed.

"Boredom I guess." Zenaku answered, and clicked on a picture. Yuki peered at it and shrieked.

"ZENAKU I DON'T WANT TO SEE ITACHI AND KISAME DOING THE NASTY!" She covered her eyes and whimpered, "God, I think I'm scarred for life now…."

Zenaku smirked evilly. Can girls even pull off a full-blown smirk?

"Ya know, I'm just going to sleep now and forget this ever happened…." Yuki muttered and curled up on the same couch as Shizuka.

Zenaku laughed and blinked when Yuki fell asleep the moment her head hit the pillow.

"I'm actually pretty tired too…." she mused and squeezed in between Yuki and Shizuka, "Mmmm….warmth…" Zenaku too fell asleep quickly.

* * *

"Zenaku! Shizuka! Get up!" Yuki hissed desperately. Shizuka's eyes snapped open.

"Yuki? What's wrong?" She asked, sitting up.

"There's some people upstairs…. And seriously, they sound like the Akatsuki!" Yuki answered, looking pale.

"Wake up Zenaku. Quickly." Shizuka said, her eyes darting around the room, "I'll find something to hold them off with. There has to be something in here….."

"I'm already awake." came Zenaku's tired voice, "What's wrong?"

"Someone's broke in." Yuki whispered.

"Crap." Zenaku cursed. Now, she didn't curse often, but it made her feel better.

"Here." Shizuka handed Yuki a golf club, Zenaku a hockey stick and spun a baseball bat in her own pale hand.

"Let's go." She instructed, walking towards the stairs, "On the count of three open the door…one…two…three!" When the girls burst open the door they couldn't believe the sight in front of their eyes.

"No way." Yuki muttered.

"This is abnormal." Shizuka agreed.

"Welcome to hell." Zenaku stated, hand on her hip, hockey stick over her shoulder, "Now….why are there Akatsuki cosplayers here?"

- - - - -

**Well? Was it okay! Again, I'm sorry it's so short, I have to go back to school tomorrow! And this chapter was wrote by...Rose! So here's Deidara to say hi to everyone!**

**Deidara- ....Hi, un?**

**Rose- And....?**

**Deidara- Review, un.**


	4. Chapter 4

****

**_Chapter 4_**

Guys…did I drink too much Mountain Dew?" Yuki asked in awe as the three girls, armed with various weapons of mass destruction, stared at who had entered the house.

"I don't think so…" Shizuka answered for her. "We're all seeing the same thing, right?"

"If you mean we're all seeing the smexilicious S-ranked criminals of Naruto, then hell yes." Zenaku said happily.

Standing in front of them were the Akatsuki, or maybe they were cosplayers.

In the dim light, it was hard to tell.

That is, until Yuki took the silence as her cue to attack a certain blonde artist with her "Death-Hug."

"DEI-DA-RA~!" She shrieked lovingly as she glomped the blonde bombshell. "I LUFF YOOZ!"

"Ah, what the hell, un?! Get it off!" Deidara yelled angrily, attempting to shake Yuki off of his leg.

"Yuki! Off the trans-sexual suicide terrorist." Shizuka ordered with a glare.

Yuki gulped and slid off Deidara, walking back to her friends.

"I assume you know who we are?" Pein asked calmly. "Good. That will make things much easier."

"Yeah, you're the amazing Akatsuki!" Zenaku nodded excitedly. "…why the effers are you here though?"

"We got lost on our way to the Bleach world." Kisame answered in a serious tone.

"Um…okay…" Zenaku turned to Yuki and Shizuka. "Guys, what do we do now?"

Shizuka, always the one to have a plan, answered, "Simple. We kill them."

The Akatsuki and Shizuka's friends sweat-dropped, not including Itachi. Because he's Mr. Cool and Calm.

"I was kidding. Seriously why are you here?" Shizuka demanded, her eyes sliding to Itachi for one brief second, then looking back at Pein. "You're crashing our sleepover. We have a right to know."

"We…are here…to…be your teachers!" Pein answered quickly. "Your principal sent a notice for someone to give your class the 'Talk.' So…here we are!"

"That makes no fudging sense whatsoever." Yuki blinked in confusion. "And I'm normally the one to say weird crap like that."

"Well…it's complicated. In time you will know." Pein sounded sheepish almost. "Now let us stay here for the day."

"WHAT?! But I don't got enough space in my house for you guys! Although…Deidara can sleep in my room." Yuki grinned suggestively at Deidara, who in turn hid behind Sasori.

"F***, we'll finding some f****** space, b****!" Hidan said loudly. "So don't f***** try anything!"

"YOU'RE the ones who would try something." Shizuka pointed out in exasperation. "You're all perverts."

"Except for Itachi. Eh, we don't know. We never will, because he's emotionless. We'll never know if he's horny." Zenaku joked lightly.

Itachi glared at her, and she looked down to avoid his Sharingan.

Then she looked at Hidan and gave him a small wave. "Yo! I'd be a Jashinist too, if my parents allowed me to bleed all over the place."

"Sweet! I like this bitch!" Hidan smirked. "I may fucking like this damn world."

"Hidan, you curse too much. Keep in mind, tomorrow you will be in a school full of children." Kakuzu said, randomly counting a wad of money.

"So? He can cuss all he wants! It's a school full of teenagers, not five-year olds!" Zenaku defended angrily. "Hell, he could still cuss then, no one would care."

"Are you three going to show us rooms or what?" Pein snapped.

"Fine! Follow me." Yuki rolled her eyes. "Spilt into groups and go with Shizuka and Zenaku too."

"Yuki, what about your parents?" Shizuka whispered to her. "They will find out sooner or later than you're harbouring criminals in their house!"

"…oh yeah! CRAP! Um…I dunno. We'll worry about that later." Yuki shrugged. "For now, let's just deal with the task at hand."

**I ****was taking awhile on the computer. T_T Anyways, this chapter was written by...YUKI!**

**Itachi: Hn.**

**Itachi, why are you even here, hm?**

**Itachi: Review. Or it's the Tsukuyomi world for you.**

**Yeah! 72 HOURS OF CARAMELLDANSEN!**


	5. Chapter 5

_Why Criminals Don't Make Good Teachers_

_Chapter 5_

…………………_..Still during the Sleepover…………_

The three girls led the Akatsuki around the base trying to find a room for them, which was hard because Yuki lived in a small house since she was an only child and it was only her and her parents that lived there.

Eventually the girls ended up leading them down into the basement where there was a big open room.

That would work, right?

Of course the whole time Zenaku and Yuki were talking up a storm, and Shizuka only added a few words here and there, but all in all most of the Akatsuki weren't paying attention to her.

"Okay slaves, this where you can sleep!" Yuki announced.

"Slaves! Why you little b****!" Hidan was furious.

"Calm down, Hidan," Pein ordered.

"I think you should all shut up," Shizuka glared at them. That only made Hidan even angrier. He reached for his scythe.

"Okay, both of you just calm- oh what the hell, Shizuka is calm- Hidan, just calm down. We can go praise Jashin in a couple seconds if you calm down," Zenaku raised her hands in a peace showing motion.

Hidan thought for a moment, "…Fine."

"Okay Fish Popsicles, to prevent perverseness going on between you guys and us girls, we shall each have a part of the room," Yuki told them all, and then added, "but I call having Deidara and I sleep on the borderline next to each other where the sections of the room meet."

She grinned, looking at Deidara in a sort of crazy manner.

Shizuka sighed, "Yuki, you must remember that your parent's are still here."

"Oh, I'm sure they won't mind!" Yuki said cheerfully.

"But I will, un," Deidara muttered.

"No you won't!" Yuki smiled happily, and glomped him.

"Wha- I want to glomp people to!" Zenaku glomped Hidan, who wasn't very mad about it… he looked like he enjoyed it. He must not be hugged by girls often.

"C'mon Shizuka, join in the glomping session!" Yuki persuaded.

Shizuka shook her head, "I don't think so."

"If you do we'll give you emo fudge," Zenaku gave her a thumbs up. Now, in case you didn't know emo fudge was Shizuka's weakness. A grin slowly spread across her face.

"E-emo fudge…?"

"Yes Shizuka, emo fudge," Yuki nodded her head. Shizuka's eyes grew wide, and she started to jump with excitement.

"All you have to do Shizuka is glomp somebody," Zenaku winked, and indicated to Itachi with her eyes.

Shizuka slowly looked at Itachi, who was glaring at her as if to tell her 'Do it and you die,' but he didn't know how much Shizuka liked emo fudge. She ignored the glare, and then… SHE GLOMPED HIM!

"WHAAAA! FOR THE EMO FUDGE!" She yelled, but that wasn't the only reason

she glomped him… but we'll talk more about that later.

Itachi shoved her off angrily, and she hit the wall on the other side of the room. Zenaku and Yuki glared at him.

"How. Dare. You!" Yuki gave a battle cry and waved the hockey stick that she had earlier, and charged, "FOR CANADA! AND FOR NARNIA! AND FOR SHIZUKA!"

"Wah-hoo, go Yuki!" Zenaku cheered, but she knew that she wouldn't be able to do a thing against Itachi.

She glanced over at Shizuka, who had fallen unconscious.

How would she deal with this when she came to? Zenaku shook her head. She and Yuki both knew that she had a "thing" for Itachi, this wouldn't be good.

She stood up, and stomped over to Itachi, who had blocked Yuki's ninja hockey attack, "How could you, Itachi! That was so low! She's not even a ninja, for crying out loud!"

He just glared at her, "It was her own fault."

"All she wanted was some emo fudge!" Yuki cried dramatically.

"Ugh, will you all just shut up, and get me some aspirin. Man, I have a major headache," Shizuka sat up, and held her head.

"Heh, it's like you're hung-over!" Yuki pointed and laughed. Shizuka looked up and glared, but something was… different.

Yuki and Zenaku gasped, "Y-your eyes a-are purple!"

Shizuka sighed exasperatedly, "I know they're purple!"

"I think they meant that your eyes are glowing," Pein stepped out of the shadows, where he had been while the glomping session was going on. Shizuka's eyes widened.

"G-glowing?" She jumped up and ran to the bathroom for the mirror. She looked at her reflection, "W-what! H-how-!"

"I believe we can explain," Pein appeared behind her.

"W-what are you talking about?" She gasped. The Akatsuki, Zenaku, and Yuki soon appeared.

"Explain immediately," they hissed angrily.

**Okay, was that okay? Sorry that one was short too, but I didn't have much time. Amaya wrote this, and she nor Yuki or Rose own Naruto… sadly. Well, anyway, please review, okay.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Why Criminals Make Bad Teachers **

**Chapter 6**

Pein stared at the three angry girls with blank, unblinking eyes.

"Well?! Tell us you bastard!" Zenaku snapped, rage and confusion flashing in her eyes.

"Yeah! Tell us or else you fuzz-bag!" Yuki exclaimed, clinging to Shizuka's side protectively.

"NOW." Shizuka commanded, edging in front of Zenaku and Yuki.

"It is….." Pein paused, looking for a way to explain it, "In a way, like a Kekkei Genkai. A special a ability, that randomly shows up. However, if you were to have children, they would also have it. However, the rest of your family don't have it."

"What is our power?" Yuki asked, blinking.

"I…don't know. But, it is very powerful." Pein answered, looking sheepish.

"You don't know?! How can you not know?!" Zenaku exclaimed, staring at him in disbelief.

"Shut up." Pein hissed, death-glaring her, "So we came to keep an eye on you, to make sure your powers don't get out of control."

"YESH! That means I can stay with Dei-Dei!" Yuki yelled triumphantly, punching the air, and eyed Deidara.

"Danna! Make her go away…." Deidara whined, hiding behind Sasori.

"I like bugs." Zenaku stated, throwing a spider at Itachi. Shizuka stared at her.

"Zenaku, what the hell are you on?" She asked calmly, her eyebrow twitching, also her eyes had stopped glowing.

"Crack! Lots and lots of crack!" Zenaku answered, jumping on the sofa crazily.

"Hey, Zenaku!" Yuki yelled, smiling insanely.

"What?!"

"What do you like to do?"

"I LIKE TO RIDE MY BICYCLE!" Zenaku shrieked, and then fainted.

"What the fuck just happened, you fucking bitches?!" Hidan exclaimed.

"Oh, relax." Yuki waved a hand at Hidan lazily, "She's just releasing her shock without killing anything."

"…Okay….you bitches are weird…." Hidan raised a silver eyebrow and stepped back.

"You guys stay away….Deidara you can come if you want." Yuki winked at the blonde bomber, who edged away,

"Just go to bed Yuki." Shizuka sighed.

"Aw…..fine. C'mon Shi-Shi." Yuki grabbed Shizuka and dragged her on to the sofa that Zenaku was sleeping on, and threw a blanket over them.

"Night night crazies!" Yuki laughed, then burrowed down into the covers.

"Touch us and you die." Shizuka stated, closing her eyes.

"She loves you too." Yuki muttered from underneath the covers.

"Shut up Yuki." Shizuka glared at her insane friend, which is rather impressive since her eyes were closed.

_- - - Once the three girls all fell asleep….- - -_

"What now, fuckers?" Hidan asked, leaning against the sofa that our three heroines were sleeping on.

"Language Hidan." Konan chided him, who was sitting beside Pein.

"We will go to the girls school until our chakra is replenished." Pein answered.

"What? School with…that, un?" Deidara nodded in Yuki's direction. Sasori sighed.

"Yes brat, school with that."

Deidara glared at Sasori and the blissfully unaware sleeping Yuki.

"Eh, it might be fun, right Itachi?" Kisame grinned and nudged the emo weasel.

"Hn." Itachi answered, his eyes flickering to the peaceful face of Shizuka for a second before quickly looking away.

"It would interesting. **As long as I can eat someone.**" Zetsu spoke, his body merged with the wooden floor.

"I want a pay rise." Kakuzu stated, still counting wads of money.

"….Later…." Pein said, and glared at the money-loving thing.

"Tobi will have fun!" Tobi said, jumping around happily.

"Why are you even here Tobi, un?" You're not even a member of the Akatsuki yet." Deidara asked, blinking.

"Tobi is here because Tobi is a good boy!" The mentally insane, retarded little bugger answered happily.

"Right, un…."

"Let the mission commence!" Pein stated, and then disappeared in a poof of smoke.

The rest of the male Akatsuki members, except for Itachi cause he's an emotionless little bastard, grinned and thought the same thing.

_This'll be interesting….._

- - - -

**OMG! I'm super sorry about the shortness! CURSE YOU WRITER'S BLOCK! *Shakes fist at book-shaped block* TT_TT **

**I hate my life sometimes......this chapter was written by Rose! **

**Kisame- ?**

**Me-.....Why are you here?**

**Kisame- I don't know.....**

**Me-........**

**Kisame-.............**

**Me- Yeah.........just review people.**


	7. Chapter 7

_**Chapter 7**_

The next morning, our three crazy heroines woke up to find themselves in awkward positions.

Zenaku awoke to find a perverted-looking Hidan staring at her, Shizuka awoke to find a bored-looking Itachi sitting on her legs and reading a volume of Fruits Basket (haha, couldn't resist…) and Yuki woke up to find an evil-looking Deidara standing over her with a clay bird. (you know…the exploding ones?)

"What…the…crap?" Shizuka asked, an anger vein threatening to pop out as she glared at Itachi. "Do I look like a chair to you?!"

Itachi just stared at her, then continued to read. Shizuka, not really knowing how to deal with the whole situation, just stayed put as an angry blush spread through her face.

Zenaku jumped up at pointed at Hidan, "Ah! Did you do anything to me?!" Hidan laughed, which caused Zenaku to go pink. "Seriously? Did you?"

"Course not, bitch! I promised Pein-sama I'd behave," Hidan shrugged, a nasty gleam in his eyes. "But…I may need to sacrifice soon…" Zenaku gulped and looked away.

Yuki took one glance at Deidara's face and the bomb he was holding, and screamed at the top of her lungs. That's not something she was used to waking up to.

Zenaku clamped her hand over Yuki's mouth and hissed, "Yuki-chan! Shut the potatoes up! Your parents, remember?!"

Yuki nodded shakily. "B-but…Dei-chan was gonna blow mehz up!"

Deidara suddenly turned white. "…Dei-chan, un?" An anger vein popped out on his forehead. "I AM A MAN, UN! A MAN!"

Yuki cowered in fear. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! FORGIVE ME DEIDARA-SENPAI!!!!!!"

Shizuka decided to intervene and pushed Itachi off of her legs. "Guys, honestly, it's way too damn early for this foolishness." Itachi seemed to glance at Shizuka sharply when she said "foolishness," but he quickly recovered and went back to reading.

Hidan grimaced. "Oh great. You're talking like that fucking Itachi. We have room for only one emotionless prick around here!"

"Dan-Dan, be nice! Shi-chan is my friend!" Zenaku smacked Hidan's arm in mock anger. "And no name-calling!"

Hidan smirked at her, the grin growing when a red tint grew along the perimeter of Zenaku's face. "Oh yeah? Are you gonna stop me?"

Zenaku stammered when she opened her mouth, nothing but gibberish coming out. Then she regained her composure and shook her head. "N-no…"

"Thought so." Hidan grabbed her chin and inspected her face. "You know…you're pretty cute." Zenaku gave a small "Meep!" and stumbled backwards, causing Hidan to laugh.

Itachi stepped up. "Foolish. We need to get to…school. The rest of the Akatsuki have already gone."

Shizuka nodded. "We're going to be late, guys. Come on."

"Oh crap we are! Um, uh, um…" Yuki frantically ran around, trying to grab her school things. "Why do we hafta go?!"

"So we can learn things, dumbass." Shizuka threw Yuki's bag at her. "Zenaku, stop being a vegetable and get moving." Poor Zenaku was slumped on the floor unmoving with a starry-eyed look on her face.

"Deidara, I can drive you!" Yuki excitedly dangled her car keys in front of the blonde's face. "I promise I won't kill us."

Deidara gulped and looked at Itachi. "Oi, Uchiha! Shouldn't we be taking them? We're supposed to be the chaperones, according to Pein, un."

Itachi closed his eyes thinking. "…Yes. We should." Deidara pointed at Yuki and motioned her to drop the keys. Yuki dejectedly did so with a sad look on her face.

Then Itachi turned to Shizuka. "You will be going with me. Understood?"

Shizuka nodded. "Yes, Itachi-san. I won't be a hindrance."

Itachi's lips twitched upwards for a mere millisecond. "I doubt you'd ever be one. You're much more tolerable than the other two." Shizuka's eyes brightened happily, and she shot Zenaku and Yuki a "HAH!" look before departing with Itachi.

Hidan grabbed Zenaku's arm. "C'mon, bitch. Don't wanna be late!" The two disappeared in a poof of smoke. (You know…the ninja-poof! Of D00M!)

Deidara sighed heavily and looked at Yuki. "I guess I'll have to deal with you, un."

Yuki looked down apologetically. "Sorry, Deidara. I just think you're awesome, so I got excited. I'll try to be less-annoying, but frankly, that's just my personality."

Deidara felt a little guilty, but didn't show it. "As long as you don't touch me again, I'm fine with you." The two left for school, and when they arrived, it was to a massive crowd of yelling students.

Yuki stared at all the angry kids. "What…happened?"

**OMFJ what happened?! You'll have to read on to find out! Yayz! I made a long-ish chapter, with moments! This was typed by Yuki. *poofs in Zetsu*  
**

**Zetsu:...why the hell am I here?**

**Uh...to do the"thingy."**

**Zetsu:Oh. REVIEW OR I'LL EAT YOU! WITH KETCHUP AND BBQ SAUCE!  
**


	8. Chapter 8

_**Chapter 8**_

"Yuki!" Shizuka yelled, rushing over to her friend, and hugged her in relief, "Thank god…. are you okay?"

"What's…going on?" Yuki whispered.

"It's because of Zenaku's father. He beat up some kids dad, remember? Well, now they all want revenge on us since we're friends with Zenaku. It's just preps though." Shizuka explained, her pale face going more pale, "They didn't spot me yet….I don't know where Zenaku is though…"

"We have to get her! Come on Deidara, Itachi!" Yuki exclaimed, heading towards the large crowd. Deidara grabbed hold of her wrist and yanked her backwards. Yuki yelped and felt Deidara's chest against her back.

"You idiot, un!" Deidara hissed, "If they see you they'll attack!"

"I don't care, I hafta help Zenaku! Shizuka, c'mon!" Yuki yanked herself out of Deidara's grip, trying to hide the fact she was blushing. The two worried friends pushed their way through the crowd of preps, shoving anyone who wouldn't move. "Where's Itachi?" Yuki demanded, rounding on Shizkua when they were about half-way through.

"He went to find Pein and the others…I think Hidan's with Zenaku though." Shizuka explain. Her eyes flashed purple suddenly, and she gasped. "I…I know where Zen-chan is! Follow me!" Shizuka started to sprint, and Yuki had trouble catching up. They found Zenaku huddled against a wall with Hidan staring defiantly against three preps. One was (OMG SHE'S BACK!) Preppy-Pig, and flanking her were her two male "Companions". AKA her…yeah you know who they are.

"Zenaku! Are you all right?" Shizkua rushed to her friend's side anxiously. "What'd they do?"

Zenaku wiped her face. She had been crying. "I…they made fun of…Hi-Hidan…"

"Ugh, shut up you slut!" Preppy-pig scoffed. "You make me sick!" Her two male companions nodded in agreement, advancing towards Hidan menacingly.

Hidan grinned crazily. "Heh! You bastards think you're gonna fight me?" He pulled out his scythe. "Bring it on, f***ers! I need to do some sacrificing for Jashin-sama!"

Preppy-pig stared at him. "What the hell are you talking about?!"

Hidan glared at her. "You'd better shut up while you still have your head on your shoulders, b****."

Zenaku looked up at Hidan, her face full of admiration and gratitude. "Dan-Dan…" She whispered. "He's so…nice…"

Preppy-pig's henchman suddenly threw themselves at Hidan, yelling profanities at the albino Jashinist. Hidan side-stepped them with ease, laughing psychotically. "This is making my blood pump!"

Shizuka whipped around and clawed Preppy-pig right in the face. "You're a b****, you know that?!"

The prep girl screeched as a line of blood began to seep from the wound. "Why you-! You'll all pay for this! Especially YOU!" She pointed at Zenaku, who was being consoled by Yuki. "Your father…the bastard will NEVER leave jail! Hell, you're joining him! Ethan, Darryl!" The two guys who had attempted to assault Hidan snapped to attention at the mention of their names. "We're telling the principal about this!" The three stomped off in a cloud of angry emotions.

"Well that was…"Yuki helped Zenaku up with a weak smile. "That was odd. Preppy-pig has some guts."  
Zenaku was shaking. "She…that evil b**** threatened my father…and ME!" Shizuka and Yuki hugged her, consoling her with soft voices. "How'd you know where to find me?"

Shizuka grinned. "It seems my psychic Kekkai Genkai worked its magic. I somehow was able to sense your…chakra!"

"Oh my gawd, that's so cool!" Zenaku said, her usual happiness returning. She turned to Hidan, who was looking a little PO'd at the fact that he didn't get to fight. "Um, Hidan-kun? Thank you."  
Hidan shrugged nonchalantly. "It was nothing."

"There you are." Itachi was sudden;y behind them, mostly Shizkua. Shizuka yelped in surprised and tripped backwards, falling against Itachi. Itachi caught her with a quiet grunt. "…Did I scare you?"  
Shizuka blushed, then recovered quickly and leapt out of Itachi's hold. "O-of course not! I was…still shook up about Zenaku, that's all!"

Itachi smirked, his sexy Uchiha smirk boring into Shizuka. "Really." Shizuka felt herself blushing again, and quickly looked away. (hey, we all know he's super-hot, okay?)

"Oi! We should probably get going to see Pein, un." Deidara said in an annoyed tone, walking out from behind Itachi. "He's getting pissed I bet. Tobi's gonna give your class the 'talk' in like…an hour, un."

Yuki grinned and laughed. "Hah! Lollipop-boy will? This is gonna be good…we can NOT miss that!" She grabbed Zenaku and Shizuka. "Let's get our butts moving, okay?!" She dragged her two friends in the direction of the school, yelling "TALLY HO! TO THE BAT-MOBILE ROBIN! TO NARNIA!!!!!"

The three Akatsuki members gave each other bemused looks, shrugged, then followed the crazy heroines.

**Sorry that wasn't as random as the others...but this way you guys got to see a little of the girls' past! Oh I just realized...we're not really following our summary of this story. Sorry! Anyways, this was typed by Yuki again, because I got bored.**

**Kakuzu:Plus you just wanted to annoy me.**

**...eh, that too.**

**Kakuzu:*sighs* Teview or I will sell your souls to the devil. Then bathe in the cash I got from it and laugh evilly while watching "America's Next top Model."**

**0.0 *stares* WHAT?!**

**Kakuzu:...criminals can have guilty pleasures too, ya know! -_-+**

**oh well...do as the man says and REVIEW, DAMMIT!  
**


	9. Chapter 9

_Why Criminals Make Bad Teachers_

_Chapter 9_

………………

As the three girls and the Akatsuki members that had escorted them there walked into the school they were welcomed by a huge uproar. A huge group of people (mostly girls) where huddled around the rest of the Akatsuki.

"OMG! THAT GUY IS SOOOO HOT!" and "MARRY ME!" were some of the most common sayings being tossed around by the mob. The other members looked angry and ready to kill, but either the group was too dumb to notice it or they were just that desperate to get one of the men.

Zenaku, Yuki, Shizuka, and the other half of the Akatsuki stared at the scene for what seemed like a long time, until finally one of the teachers came out and screamed at the kids to get in class. After the mob had cleared, however, she turned to the Akatsuki, "Who are you… uh, people (she was mosty looking at Zetsu when she said that)… and what are you doing here at this school!" she demanded, "Obviously you aren't students here!"

Pein was about to speak up, but Tobi cut him off, "Sorry lady, but we're here to give the 'talk'!" he explained in his kid-ish voice. The teacher stared at him as if she was in a trance, and then nodded.

"O-okay, just go report to the principal," she pointed shakily down at the end of the hall.

"Thank you lady!" Tobi waved, and then strode briskly down toward the office. The Akatsuki and the three girls followed.

Once they had gotten there, Zenaku, Shizuka, and Yuki had noticed that the principal was also acting weird like the teacher had, but in the end the 'talk' was scheduled for right after lunch. Yeah, great, if they get grossed out (which I highly doubt) they get to puke! Fun right!?

……………………… _At Lunch_

Shizuka sat down beside Yuki and Zenaku. That's how it always happened; Shizuka would always sit down last because of Yuki and Zenaku always sprinting to the front of the lunch line. The two girls were talking about the 'talk' that would be happening afterwards.

"Why do we even need this anyway? We learned it years ago," Zenaku said. Yuki just grinned.

"Oh, you know it will be hilarious! Especially now that Tobi is going to teach it. Now that is something that I would never expect to see!" Yuki laughed at the thought.

"I think I'll take a nap during it," Shizuka stated, taking a bite of what the school cooks call 'food.' She never understood why Yuki and Zenaku even liked the stuff.

"Wow, you WOULD do that. Seriously, you'd be missing out on a chance of a lifetime to see Tobi teach that!" Yuki laughed again. Shizuka rolled her eyes.

"You mean Madara, right?" Shizuka said, "Just think, Madara Uchiha teaching the 'talk,'" Shizuka shook her head, "That's just creepy."

"Well, that would be even funnier in my opinion," Zenaku said. She was about to speak again, when she and Shizuka noticed how Yuki was eating at that moment. It was funny yet… kind of weird how she was able to shove that much food into her mouth. She looked up at them.

"What?" she said with her mouth full.

"Yuki, what have we said about eating that way?" Shizuka asked in a serious tone. Yuki shrunk in her seat.

"That I shouldn't if I don't want to be ninja kicked."

"Yes, that's exactly right."

**Sorry that was so short, I've been busy with track and school work lately. BTW, Amaya wrote this, and she doesn't own Naruto. Also, as Rose-chan says, REVIEW!**


	10. Chapter 10

_**Chapter 10**_

The girls walked into the auditorium, ignoring the piercing glares of various preps as they found a seat in the front row. The Akatsuki were all up on the stage, and Tobi had a microphone in his hand.

"This is gonna be good!" Yuki whispered with an evil laugh. She cupped her hands over her mouth, stood up, and yelled, "GO TOBI! I BELIEVE IN YOU!"

Shizuka pulled her back down to her seat by her ear. "Don't be an idiot."  
"But I AM an idiot!" Yuki protested in pain, rubbing her ear.

"Oh Yuki-chan." Zenaku giggled, shaking her head. "You are an idiot, but that's why we love you."

"Thank you." Yuki grinned.

"Everyone, please be quiet! Tobi needs to…do the thingy now!" Tobi announced as the light dimmed. The rest of the Akatsuki sat down by the girls in the front row, with Deidara sitting by Yuki, because she was the only one who had room by her. (I set that up. ^_^)

"Okay…lessee here…"Tobi paced back and forth on the stage. "Well, men and women have different…no, that won't work…SENPAI, HELP TOBI!!!!"

"Hell no, un! Do it yourself!" Deidara yelled in anger. Yuki gave him a heart-eyed look for no apparent reason, and he was forced to shrink down in his seat.

"OH! Tobi gots it!" Tobi practically got a lightbulb on his head. "When men and women love each other, the kiss and cuddle, and make babies! THE END!"

There was silence. Then, the whole auditorium erupted in wild laughter, which included the Akatsuki and our three crazy heroines.

"D-don't laugh at Tobi!" Tobi sobbed. "Tobi's not…experienced in this stuff!"

That made everyone laugh even harder, which led to half of the students having to get up to go pee.

Zenaku, Yuki, and Shizuka had tears coming out of their eyes from laughter. They fell onto the floor, holding their stomaches.

"Th-that was awesome!" Zenaku choked out. "Oh god Tobi, you make me laugh!"  
"I have to agree, that was HILARIOUS!" Shizuka gasped. "Tobi! ENCORE!"

"Yeah, do it again, Tobi! DO IT!" Yuki screeched.

"Tobi doesn't want to." Tobi pouted. He leapt off the stage. "…can we go now?"  
"Go where?" Shizuka asked, immediately sobering up. She sensed an evil plan brewing.

"We want to…have you show us the ropes of your world." Pein explained as all the other students beagn to file out.

"…does that mean skipping school?" Zenaku asked hopefully.

"Yes." Hidan nodded at her. "You're welcome, by the way. I asked Pein to do it."  
"Whoa, you didn't cuss!" Yuki pointed at him in amazement.

"I don't hafta f***ing cuss every damn time I talk, b****!" He shot back.

Yuki stuck her tongue out at him, but shut up.

"Well, we gonna go now?" Zenaku begged, tugging on Hidan's arm. "Are we ,are we, are we, are we?"

"Yes, we are." Zetsu answered her. "First you guys have to get your stuff."

"Okay!" Yuki squealed in joy. "LET'S GO!"

"Hold on, Yuki." Shizuka poked her in a pressure point to make her stop. "We need to think this through. There may be possible Naruto fans around when we take the Akatsuki out."  
"…so?"

"So…we need to act like they're cosplayers." Shizuka finished. "That means do NOT be all crazy, creepy, hyper fangirl on them."

"…okay…" Yuki sighed. She hugged Zenaku in sorrow. "…me ish depressed now."  
"It's okay." Zenaku patted her head. "I can't do it either now. …or Shizuka." She glanced at Itachi evilly. "SHIZUKA LO-" Shizuka clamped her hand over Zenaku's mouth, blushing majorly. "ZENAKU! BAD! BAD GIRL! NO EMO FUDGE!"

"But,YOU'RE the one who likes emo fudge." Zenaku pointed out.

"…oh yeah." Shizuka sweatdropped.

"EDWARD ELRIC IS DEAD SEXY IN A MINI-SKIRT!" Yuki randomly yelled, causing everyone in her vincity to stare at her like "W.T.F?!"

"…sorry. I got bored." Yuki rubbed the back of her head in embarrassment. "Anyways…let's go get our stuff! Cuz I wanna show the Akatsuki the all-mighty BOOKSTORE OF MANGA! MUAHAHAHA!"

She ran out of the auditorium laughing evilly, and everyone else had no other choice but to follow.

**Sorry that was kinda short...I make short chappies. T_T DON'T HATE MEHZ! This was written by Yuki! Um....I hope i met your expectatiosn for the "talk" by Tobi.**

**Tobi:Tobi really has no experience!**

**I'm sorry Tobi. I don't either!**

**Tobi:WAAAAH~!**

**Just do the thingy, okay?  
Tobi:*sniffs* Okay...Please review for Yuki-chan, and Amaya-chan, and Rose-chan! They don't own Naruto, and they love you all for your reviews!**

**Thank you, Tobi!**

**Tobi:*goes Madara* Oh, and by the way...if there's any Tobi/Madara fangirls out there...I NEED YOUR "EXPERIENCE"!**

**...WHAT?! Ew, you pervert! Thsi is not your personal dating site!  
Tobi:REVIEW! ...and call me! :3  
**


	11. Chapter 11

**Why Criminals Make Bad Teachers **

**Chapter 11**

- - - At the Super Awesome Bookstore of Doom…- - -

"I want this one! And this one and…OH MY FRIGGIN JASHIN MELLO!" Zenaku flitted around the manga section, grabbing books and leapt upon a Death Note manga with delight.

Shizuka flicked through a volume of Vampire Knight happily, while Yuki was showing the Akatsuki the wonders of books.

"This is Bleach, a kick-ass manga." Yuki explained, waving the book in front of Pein, "And Ichigo's hair matches yours." She then put it back in the bookshelf and plopped down unto the carpeted floor and started reading 'Marked, A House of Night Novel' while chuckling.

The Akatsuki shared confused glances, shrugged and wandered around the store curiously.

Zetsu practically stuck to the gardening books, Konan found a book about origami and was reading it happily, Pein standing at her side calmly.

Kakuzu had found some books about making money quickly, and was scanning over them, Kisame had discovered a book about sharks, Sasori was reading something, but hiding it from view, and Tobi was reading a book about making cake.

Hidan skulked behind Zenaku and sighed, his breath warm against her neck. Zenaku flushed but kept reading, trying to ignore him.

Itachi rested his chin on Shizuka's shoulder, reading over her shoulder. Shizuka went pink, her body tensing.

"Relax." Itachi breathed, Shizuka did so, her cheeks going pinker.

And Deidara? He sat on the floor beside Yuki cross-legged, absentmindedly reading a book about art. Yuki smirked evilly and rested her head on Deidara's lap and closed her eyes, sighing contently.

"What the hell, un!" Deidara exclaimed. Yuki smiled at him, her hazel eyes fluttering open to wink at him before closing again.

"Relax Dei, before I rape you." Yuki laughed. Her breathing evened after a few minutes. Deidara blinked.

"Did...she just fall asleep in my lap, un?"

Meanwhile, Zenaku was unknowingly leaning against Hidan while reading, her back against his chest. Itachi was nuzzling Shizuka's neck, he had fallen asleep while standing up.

"We finally found you!" A voice cried from the doorway loudly. Itachi looked up, his Sharingan activated. Preppy-pig (That's right, she's back again!) was standing there in all her ugly glory, a herd of preps behind her.

"Payment time bitches!" She spat. Yuki shot up, her hazel eyes flashing a milky blue colour.

"Bring it on!" She snarled, water droplets dripping off her face.

"Well, well…" Pein murmured, "Looks like she's activated her Kekkei Genkai…."

- - -

**Oh Jashin, I'm sorry it's so short, but hey be happy, updates! ^_^This was written by Rose. For this update....Sasori! **

**Sasori- Art is eternal brat.**

**Me- I am not a brat!**

**Sasori- You are between the age of 10 and 13, therefore, you are a brat.**

**Me- Meanie. Review people. Or you shall die of a heart attack in forty seconds. *Dramatic Music plays***

**Sasori- This is Naruto, not Death Note.**

**Me- Shut up!**


	12. Chapter 12

_Chapter 12_

………………_.still at the bookstore……._

Yuki ran at the prep, now blue eyes full of fury, "You'd better watch it, Preppy!"

The prep's eyes had grown large and she stood there in shock as she saw Yuki coming with her newfound power, and by the time that she realized what was happening it was too late. She was punched in the face by Yuki's fist, and then slapped by the water that Yuki had generated with her kekkai genkai. Preppy Pig flew back out of the shop door of which she had entered just moments earlier, and landed hard on the sidewalk. She looked up kind of dazed, but visibly mad.

"Erg! You'll pay for this! Just watch, I'll sue!" the angry prep yelled. She stood up shakily, and stumbled away, cursing as she left.

In the mean time, Yuki was standing there grinning happily, looking at her hands, "I-I activated it!" she leapt in the air with joy, and then ran over and tackle Deidara, "Aren't you proud of me Dei-Dei!" she yelled happily.

"Get off me! I don't even care if you activated your stupid thing or not!" he yelled back at her, except with a very angry tone.

She just laughed at him, "Aw, you love me and you know it!"

"Erg! Get off of me or I'll blow you up!" Deidara shouted, reaching for some clay. Yuki jumped up, and grinned.

"Heheh, I totally understand, Deidara. You just don't want to kiss me here in public!" she said.

"Wha- hell no!"

There argument went on, and the rest of the group started to ignore their whole rant after awhile.

"Well… what should we f***** do now?" Hidan asked Pein.

Pein looked at them all, "We should eat dinner."

"Why, it's only 3:30,"Zenaku indicated to a clock on the wall of the bookstore.

"Because, it's time that we get going back to our world so that we don't have to deal with this everyday foolishness," he stated. As he said this, Yuki stopped terrorizing Deidara, and came over.

"So we really are going to your world?" Her eyes lit up with excitement.

"Yes," Pein nodded.

"Well, I'm only going if there is emo fudge," Shizuka folded her arms across her chest.

"…yeah, sure. We've got plenty," Pein said, looking deeply annoyed.

"Excellent, EXCELLENT! ONWARD, TO THE BATCAVE! MWAHAHAHAHA!" Shizuka pointed out to the door and started to walk out. Emo fudge usually made her go waaaaaaaay out of character. The rest of the Akatsuki stared at her with looks that said "are you kidding?" But, Shizuka didn't notice, all she did was grab the arms of her friends, and drag them out the door, "Come, we shall go get the emo fudge! FOR NARNIA!"

The Akatsuki followed them to a fudge store that was conveniently positioned next to the bookstore, "This is where we shall eat dinner!" Shizuka told Pein without even acknowledging his still annoyed expression.

"Chocolate! Tobi wants chocolate, sempai!" Tobi shouted, tugging on Deidara's arm.

"Yes, sempai, give Tobi and me chocolate!" Yuki joined in, and tugged on Deidara's other arm.

"Ow, stop it, both of you, or you'll BOTH be made into art!" he yelled.

Tobi sniffed, "Deidara-sempai is a BAD sempai!" he stomped off into the fudge shop.

Yuki, however didn't let go, and dragged Deidara into the shop too. Zenaku glanced at Hidan, "So… do you like fudge?" she asked hopefully. Hidan looked at her, and smirked the sexy smirk that all Akatsuki guys seemed to be able to do.

"Why, do you want me to go get some with you?" He looked at her, grinning, knowing that she would probably blush, considering that he hadn't cussed when talking to her.

"U-uh, yes!" she nodded, and blushed as expected. Hidan smirked even more as he saw that, and the two went into the shop together. The rest of the group followed, even Pein went in and happily chose a mint chocolate piece of fudge.

Once they had all gotten what they wanted, they sat down at some of the tables that were in the shop. Shizuka took a knife and started cutting her piece of fudge for about a minute. After she finished she held it up, and grandly announced, "Now, my creation is complete! Behold, the EMO FUDGE! MWAHAHAHAHA!"

Zenaku looked at Yuki, "Oh crap, she's had a fudge overdose."

Itachi looked at them without a hint of emotion on his face, "Fudge overdose?"

"Yes, one thing you must learn, Itachi, is that even a piece of fudge the size of a small rock will make her go… completely crazy," Yuki explained, then adding, "but it does make everything more exciting!" she said cheerfully.

**So… how was that chapter? I… kinda replaced that one thing that Rose put up, but… in my defence it had nothing to do with this story! She should have just copy and pasted the thing on the profile! I'm sorry! Don't shoot me with a lazer! WHAAAAAA! –amaya**

**P.S. We don't own Naruto, and please review**


	13. Chapter 13

**_Chapter 13_**

Shizuka grinned and happily flitted about the shop staring at all the different types of fudge. She stared at one piece of the sugary goodness with awe in her amethyst eyes. Zenaku's eyes widened while Yuki started laughing insanely.

"This is bad…this is REALLY bad…." Zenaku said, staring in horror at the piece of fudge Shizuka was holding, which was the size of a small dog.

"Why, what's gonna happen Zenaku-chan?" Tobi asked, ignoring the death glare he suddenly received from Hidan. Zenaku stood up, tackled Shizuka to the ground and grabbed the fudge off her.

"NOOO! GIVE ME THE FUDGE! FOR ASLAN! AND NARNIA! AND PIE!" Shizuka cried, struggling. Zenaku stood up, still holding the fudge, threw some money at the counter and ran like hell out of the store.

"MWA HA HA! This is gonna be hilarious!" Yuki laughed and raced after the two. The rest of the Akatsuki quickly followed.

_- - - - At Yuki's house….- - - -_

Shizuka had ran out of energy after chasing Zenaku to Yuki's house and settled for glaring at her, since Zenaku _had _thrown the fudge into a river.

"Shizuka….I'm sorry…stop being so bitchy…" Zenaku apologised, sitting down in the basement with the rest of the Akatsuki and Yuki.

"Zenaku's sorry Shi-chan. I'll get you some emo fudge later, okay?" Yuki said, grinning. Shizuka visibly perked up and that and nodded.

"Fine….I forgive you Zenaku." Shizuka sighed. Zenaku smiled and glomped Tobi for absolutely no reason and licked his mask.

"He DOES taste like a lollipop!" Zenaku exclaimed proudly, striking a Rock Lee pose. Hidan glared at Tobi again.

"Believe it!" Yuki stated happily

"Dattebayo!" added Shizuka, looking amused.

"Dei-Dei I hug you now!" Yuki announced, pouncing on the blonde bomber.

"Let me go ,un!" Deidara cried.

"Nope!" Yuki cackled and patted his head. She blinked and rubbed her cheek against his face in a cat-like fashion.

"Your hair is so soft!" Yuki murmured. Shizuka sweatdropped and Zenaku reached up and ran her fingers through Hidan's hair.

"Your hair's soft as well. Nice." Zenaku muttered before turning around and pulling out an Ipod and placed the earphones in her ears, ignoring everyone.

Hidan blinked and sat down beside her and pulled an earphone out of her ear, and put it in his own ear. Zenaku went a faint shade of pink and looked away.

Shizuka grinned at her friends actions and sat down, cross-legged and grabbed a book off the table, and started to read it, humming.

"Hn." Itachi grunted, watching Shizuka protectively and sat beside her, wearing his super sexy Uchiha smirk.

Shizuka glanced up and met his eyes, Purple VS. Black, for a spilt second before looking away, blushing slightly.

"I'll miss my family." Yuki said, sobering slightly, Shizuka glanced up and nodded. Shizuka was a single child.

Yuki looked at Zenaku, who hadn't heard them and mouthed at Shizuka '_She's gonna be heartbroken about leaving her little sister.' _

Shizuka stiffened and muttered one word, "Crap."

- - - -

**Oooo! Drama! This was wriiten by Rose! And.....here's Gaara, our favourite little emotastic racoon boy!**

**Gaara-......*Glares* Review...or I'll Sand Coffin your ass.**

**Me- Ya heard him! Review!**


	14. Chapter 14

_**Chapter 14**_

"Soooo…do we get to say bye to our families?" Zenaku asked Pein casually. "Because…I need to say bye to someone special."

Pein nodded. "But make it quick. I don't have all day." Zenaku grinned in thanks and pulled out her cellphone, dialed a number, andwent off into a corner to talk. Hidan followed her like a little puppy anxiously, the look on his face obvious he wanted to be alone with her. (seriously, they make a cute couple.)

"Yuki," Shizuka poked her in the back. "Don't you think we should do that too?"

"Yeah," Yuki agreed, getting her phone out too. "If you hear hysterical screaming coming from the phone, it's my mother."

The other two girls went off in opposite directions to drop the bomb on their families, leaving the Akatsuki to talk amongst themselves. Well, Itachi followed Shizuka, like Hidan had done to Zenaku, and Deidara looked around protectively before he followed Yuki.

"Leader, I think there's some romantic feelings blossoming among some certain fangirls and Shinobi." Kisame chuckled, amused at the way Itachi submissively acted around Shizuka.

"I think you're right, Kisame." Pein sighed. "I should stop it. There is no room in this organization for love."

"Pein, don't." Kakuzu warned. "Those girls could kill you if you tried that!"

"Plus, what about you and Konan?" Zetsu nudged Pein wryly. Konan had went back to the Naruto-verse to watch the base, but everyone knew about Pein and Konan's…relationship. It was kind of hard not to notice it.

Pein went red and stammered "Th-that's different, you idiots!" He looked away from his sub-ordinates to Tobi, who had remained silent during this whole exchange. "Tobi? What are your thoughts on this whole situation?"  
Tobi shrugged. "Tobi thinks we should do whatever we want. Therefore, Senpai, Itachi-san, and Hidan-san should be allowed to fall for the girls of their choice. But if they want to make babies, then Tobi thinks that's a no-no, and Pein-sama should take action."

The Akatsuki stared in shock at Tobi. It seemed that this was the very first intelligible thing he had ever said in their presence. Which it probably was.

Zenaku and Hidan came back just then, with Zenaku sniffing sadly. "Sissy said it was okay…but I hafta come back for holidays! OR ELSE!" She added the last bit forcefully. Hidan patted her on the back comfortingly, and Zenaku went pink at his touch.

"Zenaku, you'll be able to come back once in awhile. We're not gonna be THAT cruel." Hidan stated without cursing. "So don't be sad."  
Zenaku nodded, her eyes spilling over with tears. "I-I know. Thank you, Hidan-kun. You're the best."

Hidan smirked in achievement, grabbing her hand. "I know I am."

Shizuka came back looking bored. Itachi followed her, mirroring her expression. "They yelled at me, which annoyed me. So I hung up. But my parents know I'll be in a world they thought was completely and utterly fictional. We're all good to go. Except, I think Yuki's having a scream-fest with her parents."

As soon as the sentence left Shizuka's mouth, the group heard a distressed teenage girl screaming profanities in Japanese. No one but the Akatsuki and Shizuka and Zenaku understood what Yuki was screeching, but let's just say…it's not something you would want to yell at a Japanese person who was holding something that could be considered a weapon.

An angry-looking Yuki stomped towards them, with a frightened Deidara behind her. "UGH! My ass-hole parents were all like 'Oh no, that's not true! Your Japanese crap isn't real, you must be finally going psycho! Come home so we can take you back to that doctor!'"

Yuki smacked her forehead in exasperation. "Gawd! They…they're asshats! I am NOT crazy! I just am very different from other people. Besides, my 'Japanese crap' IS real. I even sent them a picture of Deidara! And they still didn't believe me! I've HAD IT with this fucking place! Let's go!"

Shizuka and Zenaku exchanged worried glances. Yuki had never cracked like that before. The only times she truly got angry was when her parents didn't understand about her love for anime or manga. And it appeared that this had been the final straw.

"Uh, hello?! Why aren't we going yet?!" Yuki demanded, breathing heavily.

"I…I have to get a little of everyone's chakra. Including you three." Pein explained, his voice threatening not to break from fear as Yuki glared at him. "Then I can perform the teleportation jutsu."

Everyone got in a circle around Pein and he took some of their chakra. Then he began to perform various handsigns. "This will take about five minutes, so be patient. Please." He added the last part worriedly, glancing at a still fuming Yuki.

Deidara layed a hand on Yuki's arm. "Yuki, un? I think you need to calm down. Stress makes you get wrinkles." Yuki gave him an odd look at the "wrinkles" comment. "Wow, I never expected for something like that to come out of your mouth. If you're gonna give me beauty tips, I always thought you'd mention hair, Deidara." Yuki was slowly returning to normal.

Deidara shrugged. "I'm just trying to help, un."

Itachi looked at Shizku. "Shizuka-san? Are you ready? You seem to be a little…off."  
Shizuka gave a slight yelp as Itachi peered at her. "O-of course I'm ready! I'm not off one bit, nope! Even if I am, it's the…sugar! I mean, the effects of a sugar rush. Yep, I'm 1000% okay!"

"…1000%? Don't you mean 100?" Itachi asked, smirked just a little at her frazzled demeanor.

"Um, yeah! That's what I meant! Hah-hah!" Shizuka laughed loudly, causing Itachi to stare harder. Shizuka sighed. "Okay. I'm a little worried. I have a bad feeling that something will go wrong soon. And don't take that lightly, because I'm psychic!"

"I won't." Itachi ruffled her hair, which caused Shizuka to flush in embarrassment. "I'd never take someone like you lightly."

"Everyone, it's ready!" Pein called, jerking everyone to attention. "Don't step on the jutsu marks, please. And stay inside the circle. That means you, Tobi!" Tobi giggled embarrassingly and hopped into the circle that contained the justu.

Hidan's grip on Zenaku's hand tightened, and he whispered. "When we get there, I want to show you something. You'll love it, Zenaku-chan." Zenaku blushed as Hidan's warm breath tickled her ear, and she nodded.

Itachi wrapped his arms around one of Shizuka's arms protectively. "Get ready, Shizuka. This jutsu may knock you three out for a bit." Shizuka gulped, but nodded.  
Deidara hesitated as he glanced at Yuki, who still held the impression of a very angry PMSing girl. Nonetheless, he linked his arm with hers. "Itachi's right, un. We need to hold onto you guys so nothing bad happens to you." Yuki went red as their skin made contact, but gave her understanding with a slight nod.

"Everyone ready?" Pein asked. The group voiced their answers with nods or "Yeses." Pein grunted in acknowledgment. "All right then. Hidden Style: Dimension Travel Jutsu!"

The world swirled around them, and for our three heroines, everthing went black.

**Whew! That was the longest chapter I've written! Hey everyone, Yuki here**! **Tha****nks so much for your reviews and support**! **We love you all! Anyways, neither me, Rose, nor Amaya own Naruto.**

**Enjoy, and R&R! XD  
**


	15. Chapter 15

**Why Criminals Make Bad Teachers ,**

**Chapter 15**

**SPECIAL ANNNOUNCMENT! We have a request for all you great reviewers for....FANART! PM us if for more information! And.....the winner of the Fanart gets a Oneshot made specially for them! Good luck!**

**- - - - -**

Yuki sighed and yawned, stretching. The movement caused her head to throb and she winced.

"Shizuka? Zenaku?" She called softly.

"Mmmm…" mumbled a curled up form beside her. Yuki laughed.

"Zenaku! Sasori and Deidara's getting it on!" She yelled. Zenaku shot up.

"Where?! Need blackmail!" She exclaimed, eyes shooting open. Yuki started laughing at her while bursting out with, "BURN!"

"Yuki….." Zenaku sang, an evil look in her eyes.

"Yeah?" Yuki answered absentmindedly, flicking pebbles.

"I'm going to killlllll youuuuu…." There was practically fire in the background as Zenaku cracked her knuckles. Yuki sweatdropped.

"Do I run now?"

"Yes, Yuki I advise you do."

"Okay. AHHHHH!"

Yuki bolted from the room, wherever the heck it was, Zenaku hot on her tail.

Yuki raced down the corridor and bumped into something.

She looked and grinned happily, her previous angry mood completely gone.

"Deidara!" Yuki hugged him before climbing on his back, "Piggyback. Now."

"Fine, un. But you owe me." Deidara sighed, and hitched Yuki up his back.

"Yay! Onwards! Giddy up Deidara, Zenaku ish mad at me!

_- - - Meanwhile…with Zenaku…- - -_

"I'm lost now. Dammit!" Zenaku exclaimed, kicking the wall, " Oh sweet jumping crap that hurt!"

"What the fuck are you doing?"

Zenaku spun around.

"Oh, hey Hidan! You scared me there! Say…where are we anyway?" Zenaku said, holding a hand over her heart.

"This is the Akatsuki hideout obviously." answered Hidan, rolling his eyes.

"Dan-Dan is mean! Be nice!" Zenaku poked him in the forehead. (Like Itachi with Sasuke…even though Zenaku's shorter then Hidan…)

Hidan smirked and leaned forward, grinning when a blush spread across Zenaku's face.

"C'mon then, I'll take you to the others, eh, Zenaku-chan?" Hidan asked.

"W-whatever…." Zenaku looked away and yelped when Hidan threw her over his shoulder.

"Seriously Hidan, what the heck!?" She yelled, going an even brighter shade of pink.

_- - -….With Shizuka in the living room…- - -_

"What are you doing?" inquired Itachi, watching with slightly curios eyes.

"Sketching. My friends and I each excel at an artistic talent. For Yuki, anything to do with clay. Zenaku, drawing animals. And I, drawing people." Shizuka answered, the pencil flying across the page.

"And who are you drawing?" asked Itachi.

"You." Shizuka's cheeks went a very faint shade of pink as she replied.

Deidara chose this minute to burst in, Yuki still, surprisingly, being given a piggyback.

"Happy now, un?" He sighed, pulling Yuki off him and dropped her onto the sofa.

"Yup!" Yuki grinned at the bomber happily.

Hidan walked into the room, smirking, and pulled Zenaku down his shoulders.

Zenaku blinked, still a slight shade of pink, and sat beside Yuki. Shizuka sweatdropped.

"Right…well anyhow…" Yuki pulled out her laptop, "Let me teach you the wonders of technology!"

Zenaku looked up, smiling.

"This'll be fun!" She exclaimed and tugged on Shizuka's arm, "You help too!"

"Yay." Shizuka replied in a completely blank voice.

"Anyway.." Yuki continued, "Let the fun begin!"

- - -

**Ooooh! What'll happen?! Dear Jashin I'm tired...I got up at 5 AM to write this.....Anyway....REVIEW! And get a free cookie.....*Falls asleep* Zzzz..........**


	16. Chapter 16

_**Chapter 16**_

"So, this is YouTube…ooooh here's DeviantArt! And Crunchyroll! AND FANFICTION!" Zenaku explained as the Akatsuki gathered around her. She had Yuki's laptop propped up on a table and was going to some of her favorite web sites.

"What do they…do?" Itachi asked hesitantly, not sure if getting involved was a good idea.

"They teach us everything we need to know about life."

The Akatsuki stared at Zenaku, WTF expressions plastered to their faces.

Zenaku shrugged. "That is the best answer you're getting out of me."

"Zenaku, I'll tell them." Shizuka said. "Basically, these web sites are places where nerds like us spend our whole adolescent lives on, looking for things to entertain us with."

"Click on that." Hidan pointed to something on the screen. Zenaku was on YouTube. "It says my name!"

The things Hidan was pointing at read "Hidan and Kakuzu…YAOI!!!!" Zenaku, Yuki, and Shizuka exchanged knowing glances, but did as they were told.

…It took the Akatsuki fifteen seconds to realize that the video involved Hidan and Kakuzu being in a romantic relationship, and they all proceeded to scream and shield their eyes, while the three evil fangirls laughed their heads off.

"Th-that was freaking HILARIOUS!!!!" Yuki gasped for breath. "Hey, let's look at SasoDei now!"  
Shizuka glared at her. "Hell no. I hate yaoi. I only put up with it for you two."

Zenaku and Yuki sighed in defeat, then went to Fanfiction. They showed the Akatsuki one of the best Akatsuki fics, _Kitty Kurse_ (seriously you guys have GOT to read it! It's amazing!) and the most loved Naruto fic, _Fangrlz._ (Again, read it if you haven't. It will blow your brain.)

"People actually waste their time with this, un?"Deidara asked, peering at the screen. "Wow. Some people have no lives whatsoever."

"Dei, be quiet. We're some of those people." Yuki pouted. She linked her arm with his. "I can show you some fanfics I wrote about you!"  
Deidara pulled away. "NO! For the love of God, please don't, un. I'm still scarred from that…THING you showed us on…YouTube."

"…fine."

The rest of the technology lesson went smoothly, and the Akatsuki now knew what and what not to look up on the laptop. Although, the girls may have made Konan a yaoi fangirl.

"What now?" Shizuka asked when they put the laptop away. The Akatsuki, except for Hidan, Itachi, and Deidara, left.

"We could train you." Itachi offered. "I mean, we can't really help with your Kekkai Genkais, but we can train you to be ninjas."  
"I'm already a ninja." Shizuka scoffed. "Have you seen my muscles?" She jokingly showed Itachi her arm, and then blushed majorly when she realized she had just done that.

Itachi smirked and placed a hand on her arm, squeezing. "Yes Shizuka. You're very strong." He leaned in closer. "I like that." (OMG OOCNESS IN AMAZING.)

Shizuka looked like she was about to die, so Zenaku and Yuki left, dragging their bishies (love that word) with them to avoid any further embarrassment for Shizuka.

"Itachi loves her!" Yuki sang happily. "I'm glad, because Shizu-chan really needs someone to loosen her up. …heh, that's what she said."

Zenaku giggled. "Nice one, Yuki-chan!" She high-fived her friend. "And I agree with you one hundred percent."

Deidara and Hidan looked at each other and shrugged, not really getting the joke. The four of them continued to walk down the hallway, until Zenaku made them stop. "Hey, Hidan? Can you…train me? I wanna learn how to kick ninja-ass."  
"Sure! Let's get started." Hidan nodded. He grabbed her hand and dragged her away before you could say "Gaara of the Funk" leaving Deidara and Yuki alone.

Yuki looked at Deidara slowly. "…will you train me, too? I promise I won't go fangirl."

Deidara closed his eyes, thinking about the pros and cons. Then he nodded in affirmative. "But if you do go fangirl, un, I will refuse to have anything to do with you ever again."

"Well that's kinda mean, but I guess that's the best I'm getting!" Yuki grinned and twirled around. "Thank you Deidara! I mean it. You're the greatest!"

And that's how our three heroines began their ninja training.

**Sorry I made yet another short chapter...T_T. You'll just have to get used to it. This was typed by Yuki! We don't own Naruto, we just own Zenaku, Shizuka, and, well...Yuki! But if we DID own Naruto...(insert evil laughter and scary background) Please R&R! Oh and if you have any ideas, they're greatly appreciated. **


	17. Chapter 17

_**Chapter 17**_

-With Itachi and Shizuka-

"Itachi, really. This is too easy." Shizuka complained, rolling her eyes. "Challenge me. I'm a genius!"

"I'm sorry, Shizuka. You asked me to do the basics with you, this is part of them." Itachi apologized. "Now concentrate, ok? Feel the chakra run from your center to your feet."  
Shizuka sighed. "Fiiiiiiine." She closed her eyes and did as Itachi instructed, surprised when she felt a rush of energy down at her toes. She carefully stepped onto the tree trunk in front of her, and steadily walked up. "Hah! I mastered what took Sasuke a whole episode in less than a minute! I am so bad-ass!"

Itachi nodded approvingly as Shizuka hopped down from the tree effortlessly. "Good job, Shizuka."

"Feh, too easy. Now, I think I should work on my amazing Kekkai Genkai skills!" Shizuka posed dramatically for added effect. "I want to make psychic visions!"

"You mean similar to genjutsu?" Itachi asked. Shizuka nodded, so he continued. "I may be able to help with that, considering my current status as an experienced Sharingan user."

"Really? Sweet! Help me then, please?" Shizuka begged, attempting a sad chibi face. Itachi fought the urge to laugh, not used to the adorable expression on her face.

_She's so cute…eh, she's always cute…wait I just actually thought that didn't I?_ Itachi was astounded at his epiphany as he looked at Shizuka. Was he possibly falling in love with this girl? It could be…He defiantly had strong feelings for her. Whether it was love or not, only time would tell.

"Itachi? Earth to the Uchiha!" Shizuka waved her hand in front of Itachi's unblinking eyes.

Itachi shook himself out of his reverie. "Yes?"

Shizuka placed her hands on her hips. "You spaced off and blocked out all I said!"

"I did? Sorry. What were you saying?"

"Ugh! I was saying that I want you to tell me how you usually activate Sharingan. Maybe that can help me."  
"Well, it's hard to explain to somehow who hasn't done it before." Itachi closed his eyes and thought. "Hm…try to just think about what you want the vision to be of. You're psychic, so it should come out right."

Shizuka smirked evilly. "I got one!" She clenched her face as she concentrated, and suddenly a beat up and haggard Ino materialized at her side. Shizuka landed a punch at the vision's face, sending the image flying backwards with a painful cry. It disappeared with a poof as it hit the ground, leaving Itachi speechless as he stared at Shizuka in awe.

Shizuka cracked her knuckles. "So? What do you think, Ita-kun?"  
"…I believe the Akatsuki had better never piss you off, or else they'd all be sorry…"

-With Zenaku and Hidan-

"Hi-kun~!" Zenaku called, halting to a hurried stop as she came in front of a grove of trees with a lot of rocks. "Here's a good spot!"

"Yeah, I guess." Hidan agreed as he casually inched closer to her butt, eyeing her with a naughty gleam in his eyes. (ooooh he's a perv! XD)

"Okays then, how shall we start?" Zenaku asked excitedly, oblivious to Hidan's perverted peeking at her due to her excitement at the aspect of training like a real ninja. "Kunais? Shurikens? It has to be something dangerous and pointy!"

"We can start with this." Hidan pulled out his scythe and handed it to her. "I want to see how well you handle it."

Zenaku took it with sparkling eyes. "So…pointy…and SHINY!!!!" She rubbed the hilt of it against her cheek, practically purring with pleasure. "Thank you, Dan-Dan!"

Hidan grinned pleasantly, happy that she was so excited. "You're welcome, Zenaku. Now go try it out."

Zenaku skipped over to a rock, gripped the scythe tightly in her hands, and swung at the rock. It bounced back with a loud reverberating clang, and she fell backwards onto her butt. "OW! Meany scythe! WORK FOR ME, JASHIN-DAMMIT!" She shook the scythe in anger, then somehow…

"…uh, Zenaku?" Hidan asked, his voice trembling. "Your…hand…"

Zenaku's hand was lying on the ground in a bloody puddle. She had accidently cut it off while shaking the scythe. She held up her bloody stub. "HOLY SHIT I'M GONNA DIE- wait it doesn't hurt. Why the hell does it not hurt?!"

Suddenly, electricity crackled out from her arm, shot out at her hand that was on the ground, and the hand reattached itself in less than a few seconds.

Zenaku looked in wonder at her arm, a look of horror mixed with surprise on her face. Then her face broke into a huge, excited, hyper grin. "That…is so…COOL! It has to be my Kekkai Genkai, Hidan!"

"I guess it is." Hidan nodded. Then he got an idea. "Hey, Zenaku…would you consider becoming a Jashinist?"  
Zenaku stared at him in shock. Her mouth refused to work as she contemplated Hidan's offer. "Um…I want to, but…I'll ask Yuki and Shizuka if I should or not.

"Why the f*** would you ask THEM?"  
"Because they're my bestest friends EVER! They have a right to know if I wanna becoming an immortal masochist." Zenaku pouted.

"Well, you do make a valid pint." Hidan sighed. "Fine. Ask the crazy b**** and the emo b**** first."  
Zenaku squealed in joy and threw herself at Hidan, much to his enjoyment.

-With Deidara and Yuki-

Yuki kneeled down at the river's edge, peering down into the water. "Wow, Deidara! This place is gorgeous!"

Deidara had taken her to his secret training spot. It consisted of a small river flowing into a cave, with a few big boulders surrounding the area.

"Yes, I think so too, UN." But…" Deidara smirked. "I'm going to blow it up soon! MUAHAHAHAHA! ART IS A BANG, UN!"

Yuki rolled her eyes as he cackled evilly about his exploding art. "Oh Dei-Dei…you and your hobbies."  
Deidara turned to her. "I'm done, un. So, what do you need me to teach you?"

Yuki held her arms out. "I wanna make a BIIIIIG water-explosion thinger!"

Deidara looked at her blankly. Yuki sighed. "You know, a water bomb! Because I got the water Kekkai Genkai thing going on…and I like explosives…"

"Oh. Well, I have no clue on how to help you with that." Deidara sat down on a boulder and got out some clay. "Try to figure it out on your own, un. I have a feeling you can do it."  
Yuki opened her mouth to protest, then closed it. She sat back at the water's edge and waited for inspiration to hit her.

An hour later…

"Deidara! I got it!" Yuki sprung up from her spot. "I think I know how to make a water bomb!"

"Oh really, un? Tell me." Deidara looked up from his clay sculpture, which looked suspiciously like a certain fangirl. (heh-heh…you know who…XD)

"Okay. I'll make my chakra, like, explosive, then force into water, and then BOOM! Big-ass water-bomb!" Yuki grinned at her idea. "…you think it'll work?"

"Give it a shot." Deidara prompted.

Yuki peered at the clay in his hands. "Wait…what's that?"  
Deidara blushed and stuffed it inside his cloak. "Oh…nothing, un!"  
"Show me!" Yuki begged. "Please?"  
"You should do you jutsu first." Deidara attempted weakly, trying to change the subject.

"Oh, I should, huh?" Yuki nodded, completely forgetting the clay object. She stood at the edge of the river, closed her eyes, and then raised her fist. A large wave of water came up and enveloped her. Deidara watched in amazement as the water swirled around Yuki, who was not fazed by it at all. Then, she suddenly opened her eyes quickly, held her hand out, and the water shot out into the air. Once fully in the air, Yuki gave an odd yell and the large dome of water exploded with a loud bang, sending little droplets of rain pelting down.

"Whoa…You did it, un!" Deidara gasped, unable to hide his wonder. "That's actually really cool, Yuki!"  
Yuki turned towards him, panting. A happy smile was on her face. "I…know. Crap…used too much…chakra…"She began to descend to the ground, but Deidara caught her quickly. She had fallen unconscious, evidently due to the strain of creating that unique jutsu.

"Well…time to get you back to the base, I guess." Deidara mused as he held her. "You sure are more tolerable while sleeping, un."

He began to make his way back, unaware of the happy look on his face.

_**Woooow...**_**THAT WAS AWESOME!!! I made that really long! Yep, it's Yuki here. I got bored, so I wrote chapter 17. Amaya will be busy this weekend, so she can't update. She says she's sorry! Anyways...Rose-chan, can you do chapter 18? **

**BTW everyone, thank you soooo much for all the positive reviews! We're surprised we haven't been flamed yet...XD please continue to R&R!  
**


	18. Chapter 18

_**Why Criminals Make Bad Teachers **_

_- - - …Back with Shizuka and Itachi… - - -_

"I feel so awesome!" Shizuka cheered happily after beating the crap out of hundreds of Ino and Sakura illusions.

"Hmm…." Itachi grunted, watching Shizuka jump around, arcing her slim figure and leaping. It made him want to….WAIT, WHEN WAS HE PERVERT?! Of course, nothing of the inner battle showed on Itachi's face.

"Yo, Itchy, I'm hungry…" Shizuka tugged on Itachi's sleeve, "Feed me…."

Itachi snapped out of his daydream and nodded blankly.

"Yes! Let's get Zenaku and Yuki on the way!" Shizuka exclaimed, and dragged Itachi by the hand. See…Shizuka becomes slighter OOC when hungry…..

_- - -…In the kitchen…- - -_

"So, Yuki, you fainted from over using your chakra?" Shizuka asked, biting into a sandwich, Itachi eating dango beside her.

"Yup!" Yuki exclaimed brightly, taking a bite out of a pork dumpling.

"Riiight." Zenaku muttered, and tore a strip of meat off a rib with her teeth. Hidan stared at the pile of ribs on her plate longingly.

"Hungry Dan-Dan?" Zenaku asked, noticing his gaze, "Want some ribs?"

Hidan nodded.

Zenaku gave him an evil smirk that matched Envy's (FMA).

"I'll give you some if…we go weapon shopping." Zenaku stated. Shizuka face palmed and Yuki started giggling.

"…Sure." Hidan replied. He was sure nothing bad would happen. And he enjoyed seeing the happy look on Zenaku's face.

Zenaku's face lit up and she leaned forward and kissed Hidan's cheek.

"Thanks Hidan! You're the best!" She exclaimed and handed him her plate full of ribs.

Hidan stared at her, smirked, and took a rib.

"So what happened during you guys training? I made a water bomb thingy!" Yuki waved her arms around happily.

"I learned how to walk up trees and make illusions." Shizuka stated, not liking the perverted twinkle in Hidan's eye.

"I got to use Hidan's scythe. And activated my Kekkei Genkai!" Zenaku grinned happily.

"Really?! Oh my pie that's awesome!" Yuki exclaimed while Shizuka smiled and said, "Well done."

"Yup! Now then, let's go shopping!" Zenaku cheered, striking a Rock Lee pose, the other two girls visibly grinning and left, the three Akatsuki members looking bemused, shrugged, and followed.

_- - -…In the town…- - -_

"Weapons store! Weapons store!" Zenaku sang, "C'mon Hidan, let's go!" She grabbed Hidan's hand and dragged him to a shop called 'The Pointed Blades' happily, Yuki, Deidara, Shizuka and Itachi following.

Zenaku's eyes shone as she darted around the store and she grabbed a katana. She held it up and eyed it. Black handle, a blue lightning bolt engraved on it, slim silver blade. She ran a thumb down the blade's edge.

"Sharp." Zenaku muttered and called loudly to the man at the till, "Oi! Can you tell me anything about this blade?"

He hurried over, grinning, his grey eyes lighting up in recognition.

"Ah, that!" He cried, "That, young lady, is Kokurai! It is a weapon made for ninja who have the lightning chakra type. It's name means 'Black Lightning' and is called that, because it focuses the user's chakra and shocks the enemy with black lightning when the user strikes them."

"Really?! I hafta get it, I must!" Zenaku exclaimed, staring in awe at the weapon she held, "Here mister." She handed him some money she got off Hidan who stole it off Kakuzu.

"Hey look Dei!" Yuki called, "These are awesome!" She held up matching twin daggers that had white handles and faint blue blades, streaked with light purple.

"My art is better, un." he huffed, crossing his arms. Yuki laughed.

"I know Dei! I wanna get some cool weapons, that's all! What's these then mister?" Yuki asked the store man. He walked over.

"Aha! Those are the Kiken Futago, which means 'Deadly Twins'! Quick and deadly, perfect for drawing blood. Water chakra types if they knew how, would use it to shed blood, then out of their blood create something amazing!" The man exclaimed.

"THAT'S AWESOME! I am so buying them!" Yuki paid the man and hugged the daggers to her chest, "So…shiny…"

Shizuka walked over to them, sighing.

"Ready to go?" She asked, "I got an ANBU outfit, the Ninjató weapon included. It's getting dark."

Zenaku and Yuki nodded and said, "Right."

_- - -…..Back at the Akatsuki base…- - -_

"I'm tired.." Yuki yawned, rubbing her eyes.

"Me too." Zenaku added, running her hand over her face.

"Where do we sleep?" Shizuka questioned the three Akatsuki members.

"We have to share rooms. Shizuka, you'll be staying with me." Itachi answered.

"Yuki, you'll be with me, un." Deidara called.

"And Zenaku, you're staying with me." Hidan answered.

All three of the girls heads snapped up in union in surprise, disbelief etched on their figures, all thinking 'WTF?! PEIN YOU BASTARD, YOU SET THIS UP!'

And indeed he had. What an evil, pierced bastard.

**HA-HA CLIFFY! I'm such an evil little girl. *Shrugs* Whatever. This was written by Rose. Review...and....*Tears***

**Naruto: OH WTF WHY ARE YOU CRYING?!**

**Me: I KNOW I'M BEING A BITCH BUT COULD SOMEONE PLEASE DO FANART!? Or else I''ll go into depression!**

**Naruto: Are you okay, dattebayo?**

**Me: I never was okay Naruto-kun. **

**Naruto: O...kay? REVIEW AND GET RAMEN! Om nom nom ramen!**

**Me: YAH! REVIEW!**


	19. Chapter 19

_Why Criminals Make Bad Teachers_

_Chapter 19_

-at midnight-

-with Shizuka-

Shizuka didn't have a clue on what to do. It was hard to sleep in new unfamiliar places, and the Akatsuki hide out was pretty unfamiliar. She blinked tiredly. What would she do? She was so bored being in Itachi's room, which would have usually made her excited on the inside, but there was nothing to do when the person she wanted to talk to *cough*Itachi*cough* was asleep. Plus, it was cold in his room, and there weren't many blankets at the hideout. She looked around the room, and then back at Itachi thinking, 'Damn, why does he have to be so damn good looking!' That was another thing that was keeping her awake.

After awhile, Itachi opened his eyes and stared at her, "… why aren't you sleeping?"

Shizuka, too tired to reply, merely shrugged. Itachi raised an eyebrow, "We have training tomorrow, you know. You need to rest."

She let out a sigh, "Don't care about training."

"Yes you do."

Shizuka shook her head, "No, I really don't. It's boring."

Itachi's eyes showed a hint of disbelief, "I highly doubt that."

"Ugh, whatever. You can think what you want, besides, even if I wanted to sleep I'm pretty sure I won't be able to at the moment."

"Why."

"Hell if I know, just can't sleep."

"And why don't you close your eyes or something? That might help," he suggested.

"I'd rather not. Don't think that I didn't see how you were staring at me after training when I was jumping excitedly everywhere, I saw that perverted look in your eye," Shizuka said knowingly. Itachi rolled his eyes, sighing as he went back to sleep. It was pointless to argue with hr at the moment, but before he drifted off to sleep, he made a mental reminder to make training more interesting.

-with Zenaku-

Zenaku was well in a deep sleep, as was Hidan, so when Hidan had unconsciously pulled her into his arms as he slept neither of them knew, but it probably would have happened to them even if they were awake. It seemed as if they both knew that they were meant to be together.

It was a wonder though, how Hidan had fallen in love so easily. After all, he was a person who enjoyed killing, but there was something about Zenaku that was drawing him towards her in both day, and at night.

He knew even in his unconscious state that he would never be able to go back to not loving anyone but his god. Zenaku was his, and he was hers. It was destined to be.

A few minutes later, as if sensing his newfound feelings blossoming inside of him, he woke up and stared in disbelief. He was holding her.

Hidan felt his heart thump faster in his chest as he watched Zenaku sleep. She may be kind of crazy by day, but at night she was peaceful, and in that moment as he watched her he knew that he was in love, even if he had only known her for almost a week.

Tomorrow he would definitely spend lots of time with her, and he was looking forward to every minute of it.

-with Yuki-

She was in Deidara's room. It took Yuki almost every fiber in her body to hold her back from completely going on a fan-girl crazy, even if Deidara was also awake. There was no way that he would trust her to not do something while he slept, so he reluctantly stayed awake.

"Are you sure that you aren't going to go crazy on me, un?" Deidara asked suspiciously, noticing the crazy fan-girl look in her eyes. He knew she was trying so hard not to go completely wacko, but as he thought more and more on how much she was trying, he realized that she was trying for _him._ Even though he didn't want her to go crazy fangirl-ish he reluctantly said, "Yuki ….You can… stop trying to not go crazy… just don't do anything bad, un," he said hesitantly.

Yuki's eyes lit up, "A- are you sure!?"

"…not really, but… go ahead." He closed his eyes and waited for a suffocating hug like she would usually do, but instead he felt a hand grab his.

"Thank you, Deidara-kun," Yuki whispered, and with that she _finally_ fell asleep. Deidara didn't know why he was staring at her sleeping face, but he couldn't help it. Was he starting to feel something for this crazy person? Deidara shook his head and scowled at himself. Of course he wasn't, was he? He decided to not think about it at the moment, and went to sleep instead, not even noticing that Yuki was still holding his hand.

**Wow, that was probably the least random chapter so far. BTW, Amaya wrote this chapter, and she nor Yuki or Rose own Naruto.**


	20. Chapter 19 alternative

_**Chapter 19**_

**Okay everyone, I forgot to upload this before Maya did chapter 19. So, here's an alternate! I'M SORRY!!!!! I hope you enjoy both versions, and please do not tell us in the reviews which one was better and stuff, because than we'll feel bad, okay? XD anyways, enjoy! -Yuki**_**  
**_

"Pein's an asshole." Shizuka muttered to herself as she finished changing into clothes for sleeping. She was in Itachi's room, where Pein had decided she's be staying. "A big asshole. With some jackass thrown on top." She sighed and turned around to see Itachi staring at her with an odd look on his face. Shizuka blushed deeply and fell back, pointing at him accusingly with a shaking finger. "H-how long have you been there?!"

Itachi smirked. "Oh, I made sure you were fully clothed before I entered the room." He walked towards Shizuka. "Don't worry, I swear I didn't see anything."  
Shizuka gulped. "O-okay…that better be true!" She composed herself with a cough to clear her throat. "Itachi, where will I be staying in your room?"  
Itachi pointed to the opposite side of where they were standing. There was a couch with some pillows and a blanket. "Right there. Far away from my bed so you wouldn't feel completely uncomfortable."

Shizuka nodded in thanks. "Thanks. Well, I'd better get some rest. Tomorrow I want to attempt more complicated illusions." She made her way to the couch, aware of Itachi's eyes on her retreating figure. In a way, she wanted him to stare at her. And yet…she was afraid of how far their "relationship" could go. Sure, she was a major Itachi fangirl. But she never showed it. She was known as someone who was always calm, intelligent, and string. Not some crazed hormonal teenage girl who wanted to rape a fictional character in their sleep.

"Goodnight, Shizuka-san." Itachi said when Shizuka was settled on the couch. "I'll wake you up in the morning."

"Okay. Night, Itachi." Shizuka replied, closing her eyes. Time passed, and yet she couldn't fall asleep. Finally, she got up and silently walked towards Itachi's bed, sat down on the floor in front of him, and stared at his sleeping figure.

"If I can't go fangirl during the day, then when he's asleep, I'm doing it." Shizuka muttered to herself. She raised her hand and touched a strand of hair that dangled in front of her. It was soft. She brought it to her nose and took a large sniff, breathing in Itachi's scent. His hair smelled good, kind of like that boy shampoo Zenaku always stressed about wanting to use, just because it smelled better than some girl shampoos.

Shizuka sweatdropped, realizing what she was doing. "Oh my god. I'm turning into Yuki! Holy crap, that's bad."  
"What's bad?"

"HOLY S***!" Shizuka jumped back, hitting her head against the wall. Itachi turned on the lamp beside his bed and stared at her with an amused grin.

"Shizuka, you were staring at me in my sleep, weren't you?" Itachi asked teasingly.

Shizuka gulped. "U-um…yes…" She sighed. "I was sleepwalking though!"

Itachi laughed softly. "Go back to bed Shizuka. Or better yet…" He lifted the covers of his bed up. "Come here, if you want."  
Shizuka gaped at Itachi. "…are you on drugs?"

Itachi shrugged. "No. I was just making an offer."  
Shizuka slowly got up and went back to her couch. "Goodnight Itachi." She stated as calmly as she could, and immediately fell asleep.

-In Hidan's room

Zenaku woke up from her dream, startled. She had been dreaming about Hidan, more specifically dating Hidan. Then marrying him…having kids…

"No more ribs before bed for me." Zenaku rubbed her eyes and looked at a clock. It was almost midnight. She looked over at Hidan's couch, and sighed. "I love you, Hidan." Hidan had let her sleep in his bed, and he had taken the couch. He really was kind deep down, and not just some crazy killer like everyone else thought.

"Masashi Kishimoto can SUCK IT." Zenaku growled to herself. "I'm making his killer a good guy! MUAHAHAHA!" She covered her mouth. "I gotta be quieter!"

Suddenly, the motionless lump that was Hidan stirred on the couch. "Erg…keep it f***ing down…"He rolled over and groaned sleepily.

"Sorry!" Zenaku whisper-yelled. "I'll be shutting up now!"  
"Okay…"Hidan's response was muffled from his pillow. "Hey Zenaku…?"  
"Yeah?"  
"Can you c'mere?" Hidan asked. "I need something…"

Zenaku walked over to Hidan, confused. "Yeah? What do you need?"

Hidan's arms shot out and wrapped around Zenaku, pulling her onto the couch, nestled right up to Hidan. "I need you."  
Zenaku went red and stammered, "Wh-what?"  
Hidan smirked sleepily. "I need…you."  
"Hidan?" Zenaku whispered as his arms tightened around her. "Please tell me you're just sleepwalking."  
"Nope! I'm awake enough to know what I'm doing…and what I want." Hidan lowered his face to Zenaku's. "And what I want is you, Zenaku."

Zenaku gulped, overwhelmed by their position. "U-um…I w-want you t-too, Hidan-kun…"

Hidan pressed his lips to hers as a response, and Zenaku prayed with all her might to whatever gods that existed in the world.

_Let this be real…_Zenaku prayed as she and Hidan kissed slowly. _Please let all of this be happening!_

Hidan broke away from her, a smile plastered to his face. "So, is it agreed that you and I are together now?"

Zenaku nodded, dizzy from the kiss. "Yes. It's agreed."  
The two fell asleep right away after that, holding each other tightly.

-In Deidara's room

Yuki steadily poked Deidara's hair as he snored, laughing in her head evilly. _He's not waking up! I am so evil!_ His hair was down and out of the ponytail, and it was pretty long. When he was standing up, it almost reached his waist.

_It's so pretty…_Yuki thought as she played with his hair._ Hey, we have something in common! Our hair is amazing! I should get him to play with mine, that would be fun._ Yuki ran her fingers through her own lavender locks, then resumed stroking the artist's blonde hair.

Suddenly, Deidara jerked and sat straight up, taking Yuki with him, since her hands were tangled in his hair. "OW! What the hell, un?!"  
"S-sorry, Deidara!" Yuki apologized quickly, trying to get her hands untangled from the blonde mess. "Ugh, they won't come out-hey that's what she said! Okay Yuki, no perverted jokes, this is a life or death situation."

Deidara glared at Yuki through a veil of blonde hair. "You are SO dead, un."

"Hey, I said I was sorry, okay? I couldn't help it! Your hair is just so pretty!" Yuki explained, tugging her hands out of his hair. With a very strong pull, they came out. "YESH! SUCCESS!"

Deidara held his head in pain. "Ow…that hurt! Yuki, why the hell did you think you could mess around with me in my sleep?! We had the agreement, un! I wouldn't be mean to you if you didn't…do crap like this!"

Yuki looked down, ashamed. "I said…I was sorry…"

"Sorry doesn't cut it! NO ONE messes with my hair, except ME, un!" Deidara grabbed a handful of Yuki's purple hair and pulled on it. "How does that fee to you, un?!"

Yuki yelped in pain. "Okay, I'm sooooo sorry!"

Deidara huffed, than tried to pull his hand out. "…it's stuck, un."

"Oh really? I didn't notice!" Yuki replied sarcastically. "Now get it out!"

"I'm trying, un!" Deidara yelled, tugging on his hand. "It's really deep in there!"

"Okay this moment calls for pervertedness. That's what she said!" Yuki giggled despite the situation. "Ah, I crack myself up-OW!"

Deidara had successfully ripped his hand out of her hair, but his hand-mouth had some of her purple hair inside its mouth. It grinned at the two of them and spit the strand out.

"That hurt…I will never touch your hair again, Deidara! I swear!" Yuki promised, her eyes stinging from the pain in her head.

"You and I both know that's not true, un." Deidara stated. "Tomorrow you'll attack my hair again."

"…okay, yeah, I would. Sorry. It's just that…" Yuki looked away. "My nature is to be annoying. I try to change it, but then it gets worse. It's like it has a mind of its own!"

Deidara smirked at that a little. "Oh really?"  
Yuki nodded. "Really! Honest, I am NOT joking. So, I'm sorry you have to deal with a freak like me. But I promise you, Deidara, I'm trying to change."

Yuki was looking at Deidara with such conviction in her eyes that he had no other choice but to just sigh and accept her apology and explanation. "Fine, un. I understand. Now go back to bed, ok?" He sank back under the covers of his bed, and pretended to fall asleep right away.

He heard Yuki sigh and softly make her way to the couch she was using. Deidara heard Yuki mutter into a pillow, "He so hates me now…damn it! Damn it all! I'm just…ugh!"

Deidara heard a thump, and he looked up to see what she was doing. Yuki was hitting her head with her pillow. After about five minutes, she stopped and fell asleep.

"She acts just like a six year old!" Deidara said to himself. "Well…in that case, un…I may be falling in love with a six year old fangirl who is more hyper than Tobi. Great."


	21. Chapter 20

_**Chapter 20**_

-With Itachi and Shizuka-

After an awkward night, Itachi and Shizuka were soon back to normal and in training. Shizuka was getting very adept at her illusions to the point where Itachi felt it was necessary to have a mock battle using her illusions and his genjutsu.

"Shizuka, I won't do anything too drastic. This is just a practice battle." Itachi explained in a monotone voice as the two got into position.

"I know Itachi. I'm not an idiot." Shizuka replied just as boredly. "Now let's fight!"

Sadly, before the two could really show off their skills, Shizuka's cell phone rang.

Itachi rose an eyebrow at the object as Shizuka dug it out of her pocket. "You brought that…device here? During training?"  
Shizuka nodded. "Yeah. You guys get really good reception here. Oh. It's my…parents. I'm not answering."

"Shizuka, answer it. There may be something wrong. Besides, you should respect your family." Itachi told her, knowing that it was ironic to her that he was the one telling her to respect her family.

Shizuka sighed and answered the phone. "Hello?" She tapped her foot in annoyance as a frantic woman's voice talked on the other line. "Mom, I'm not coming back. Frankly, we don't know how. Plus, I'm training." More frantic talking came from the phone. "Uh, to be a ninja. Duh. Honestly, you're so stupid sometimes!" Shizuka rolled her eyes as she listened to her mother freak out. "Sorry Mom. I'm just not coming home yet. Tell Dad I say hi. Uh…bye." She hung up and slid the cell back into her pocket.

"Shizuka, you know they love you, right?" Itachi asked quietly. Shizuka looked away, waving her hand in the air at him nonchalantly. "Yeah, whatever. I just wish they could actually figure out some certain aspects of my life. They're so clueless!" Shizuka looked back at Itachi and grinned. "Now…let's fight! I will kick your ass with fifty Sakuras! HAH!"

Itachi couldn't help but laugh at her statement, and the two continued their training.

-with Hidan and Zenaku-

Since it was official that Hidan and Zenaku were in love, they were kind of neglecting their training. Hidan was taking Zenaku out for more BBQ ribs, since she was obsessed the meat.

"Oh my god…"Zenaku moaned in pleasure as she bit into the tender beef. "These are so good…! THEY'RE THE FOOD OF THE GODS!"

Hidan laughed. "Yeah, they're pretty f***ing good, aren't they?" He reached for a rib himself. "Just don't let Kakuzu know I'm paying for this with his money."  
"And why would I do that?" Zenaku giggled, waggling her eyebrows. "I'm too smart to!"

Hidan agreed, and they continued their feast of meat slathered with BBQ sauce happily. Soon, Zenaku was full, so Hidan paid for it and took her for a walk along the forest. (They were at a village near the Akatsuki base, and the forest separates the two places.)

"Hey Zenaku…wanna make-out?" Hidan asked randomly as they walked.

Zenaku got a perverted gleam in her eyes. "Hell yeah!" She responded excitedly. As they two kissed, they got onto the ground somehow. Hidan was on top of Zenaku, kissing her with every fiber of his being, and Zenaku was responding just as heartily.

Suddenly, as the two were becoming tangled in their own limbs, Zenaku's cell phone rang. Zenaku grudgingly grabbed it out of her pocket and clicked 'talk'. "Yeah, hello?" Her eyes widened as an unfamiliar voice to Hidan began to speak. "Oh my…Dad?" She gulped and slowly slid out from under the bulky Jashinist. "Yeah, I'm fine. Are you out of jail? You are?! That's awesome! …I…I'm sorry Daddy! They just came and I…"  
There was a soothing tone used on the other end, and Zenaku relaxed. "Thank you for understanding. Yes, I'll be careful. Don't worry, I'll be coming home soon! And I'll show you my amazing new ninja skills! …I love you too. B-bye, daddy." Zenaku had tears rolling down her cheeks as she hung up, and Hidan pulled her into a comforting embrace.

"Zenaku, are you okay?" He asked quietly into her ear, his breath tickling the sensitive skin.

Zenaku nodded and buried her face in his neck. "Yeah," Came her muffled reply. "I'll be fine with some more kisses." She looked up at Hidan with slightly puffy eyes, grinning.

Hidan grinned back and gave her a quick peck on the lips. "Of course. Let's get started then."

-With Deidara and Yuki-

"Yuki, what did I say about being in my personal bubble, un?" Deidara asked calmly as the lavender-haired girl peered at him closely.

Yuki giggled seductively. "Oh Deidara-kun, you don't have YOUR bubble…we have OUR bubble."

Deidara paled and scooted away from her. "That was really creepy. And seductive, un." The artist covered his mouth when he realized what he had just said.

Yuki brightened. "Seductive? So…does that mean you like me now?"  
"H-hell no, un! Well…I don't hate you so much…but I definitely DO NOT like you in the way you think, un." Deidara said flatly, blushing.

Yuki grinned and opened her mouth to reply when her cell phone rang. Deidara narrowed his eyes at the ringtone, which was "Dude Looks Like a Lady."

Yuki flipped the phone open expertly. "Yo, 'sup?" Her face instantly darkened as soon as she heard the voice coming through the phone. "Oh great. Hey…Mom."

Deidara rose his eyebrows and came a little closer to Yuki, wanting to hear the conversation.

"No Mom! I am NOT coming back to your hell-house! I am perfectly fine here!" Yuki stamped her foot in frustration as her mother screamed at her. "Ugh! I disown you guys as my parents! Uh…the will? OH NO THE MONEY! Okay, I disown you, Mom. Dad's still my dad. Why? Because…" Yuki glared at the cell in her hand as if her mother could see it. "You never respected my love for anime! Or my dreams! Like, when I was nine and told you I wanted to work at Wal Mart. You grounded me for a week!"

Yuki listened impatiently as her mother talked angrily at her through the phone. "I DON'T CARE! I am in love with a so-called 'fictional character' from Naruto, and his name is Deidara! Yeah the man-lady with the mouths on his hands. So I'm staying here. BYE, AND HAVE A GREAT WONDERFUL LIFE YOU B****." She snapped the phone shut vehemently and shoved it back into her pocket.

Deidara stared at Yuki in surprise. "You just…"  
Yuki seemed to remember he was here, and blushed majorly as she realized that she had said she loved him in front of him. "Um, I…I…oh crap. D-deidara, I…gotta go." Yuki ran off hurriedly, cursing to herself, leaving Deidara alone to ponder the fact that she may actually, truly, loved him.

"I know she's a fangirl, but…" Deidara looked up at the sky and shielded his eyes from the bright sun. "Does she actually love me, un? Or is it just teenager hormones?"  
He debated whether or not to ask her that question the next time they were alone, and decided he would.

**Okay guys, this chapter was typed by Yuki, but me and Amaya both discussed most of the ideas for this chapter today at school. We have some bad news: Rose may not be on for awhile. So, we'll try to do our best for her. Please keep her in your thoughts, she's just having parental issues. Her parents aren't happy with her activities on Fanfiction.  
Anyways, we hope you enjoyed this chapter! I tried to make it more serious than normal. :3 **

**Oh, and the fan art thing…well, we aren't sure what to do about that, so just wait until we say something before you start screaming at us angrily. Okay?**

**BYE AND HAVE A NICE DAY!!!!!!!! XD**


	22. Chapter 21

_Why Criminals Make Bad Teachers_

_Chapter 22_

-with Shizuka and Itachi-

Shizuka was lying on the ground panting. She and Itachi had just gotten done with their fight, "W-why do you have to be such a good ninja?" she panted.

He was staring down at her, and didn't even look tired, "Because, I can."

She closed her eyes, and then got up, "Rematch." She got into a fighting position, but that just seemed to amuse him.

"I don't think you could last much longer. Let's just stop for today," he said with a small smirk, "Besides, you barely have any chakra."

"So… who needs… chakra-"And with that, Shizuka began to fall to the ground from tiredness and lack of chakra. Itachi caught her inches away from the ground.

"See, you just proved my point," he said, "and everyone needs chakra."

"Not really, only certain people for certain things need chakra," Shizuka stated.

"No, if everyone used chakra for everything it would make life easier."

"But, that's stupid. You do not need chakra for everything!"

Itachi thought for a moment, and then leaned in close to her, "Well, I guess you don't need chakra for this, for this you just need skill." And then the famous Itachi Uchiha was kissing a girl, even if it wouldn't last long, because a certain team from Konaha on a rescue mission walked in on them.

"Oh my god! The Akatsuki not only take peoples demons, the rape people!" Naruto yelled. Itachi broke away and looked up.

"Erg, not them again."

-with Zenaku-

"Hidan, when do you think we should head in from training?" Zenaku asked.

"I don't know, we haven't really been doing any training," he answered, again not cussing.

"Yeah, I know," she grinned, "but we had lunch a while ago; if we stay out here much longer it'll probably get dark."

"Zenaku, it's not that late, and we only had lunch an hour ago," Hidan pointed out.

"Oh… I guess I'm not good with time here," she laughed nervously.

"That's okay, sometimes I don't even pay attention to the f***** time," he said, pulling her into a hug. They stood there like that for a minute.

"Hidan, your hugs are warm and fluffy," Zenaku stated.

"Fluffy?"

"Yes, fluffy."

"Oh, whatever, even though I was looking for a tougher word than 'fluffy,'" he rolled his eyes.

"Fine, your hugs are also protective," she offered.

"Eh, that works."

"Good, because it's true," she told him.

"I know it is, and it's because I love you," he whispered.

-with Yuki-

How could she have said that she loved him right in front of him? She was sure, now, that her chances of being together with him were gone. Maybe she could pretend like it had never happened? Could she? No, there was no way that Deidara would forget something like that, but before she could ponder anymore of this, someone grabbed her from behind. She yelped.

"Don't scream, we're here to save you and your friends from the Akatsuki," a familiar voice whispered. It sounded like… Kiba? And then it hit her. There must be a huge group sent from the Leaf Village to save her, Zenaku, and Shizuka. No! She didn't want to leave, even though she thought that she wouldn't ever get a chance with Deidara.

She tried to get free, "No, put me down!"

"Stop struggling, I'm trying to save you!" Kiba said in an urgent sounding voice. He didn't want to be found out, but he would be, it was inevitable.

"Hey, you, put her down now, un!" an angry voice growled behind them.

_H-he actually came for me?!_ Yuki's eyes were wide as she stared at him.

"Are you okay, Yuki? I'll get you safe, I promise, un!" he yelled. He knew now, that he did have some feelings for her, and he knew that he didn't like the way that Leaf Village kid was holding her, and so, he attacked.

**Well, sorry that was a short chapter! I really am, but I had a hard time thinking of ideas! This chapter was written by Amaya. We don't own Naruto, but please review!**

**Amaya: so Deidara, having feelings for Yuki?**

**Deidara:… SHUT UP! UN!**


	23. Chapter 22

_**Chapter 22**_

_**-with Itachi and Shizuka-**_

Shizuka and Itachi glared at the Leaf ninjas that had intruded on their alone time. Itachi put Shizuka down and said to the group "Why have you come here?"  
The group consisted of Naruto, Kakashi, Sakura,and Shikamaru. Kakashi stepped forward. "We're here to save the three girls you kidnapped. They don't deserve to have their Kekkai Genkais leeched out by you bastards."

Shizuka glared at the masked ninja. "Hey, we came of our own accord, okay? And they're not using our abilities for bad purposes, they're helping us harness their uses!"

"And you actually believe that?!" Naruto barged into the conversation. "Wow, you're an idiot! Believe it!"

Shizuka's face darkened. "…I'm an idiot, you say?" She was suddenly behind him with her hand poised to crush his windpipe. "If I'm an idiot, why are you the one who's in the position to die?" Shizuka asked darkly.

Naruto paled as the air began to leave his body. "L-let g…go!" He gasped out.

Shizuka relaxed her grip, then closed her eyes in concentration. She suddenly gasped and opened her eyes back up. "You…! You're planning on…using us? Hmph, so you're just here to kidnap us. Pitiful. You Leaf ninjas are worse than what the Akatsuki used to be."

Itachi gaped at her. "Shizuka, did you just read the Kyuubi brat's mind?!"

Shizuka smirked and nodded. "Evidently I can do that too, now."

Kakashi grabbed Shizuka's arm and wrenched her away from Naruto. "Guys, the jutsu Tsunade gave us! Employ it…now!"  
Sakura and Shikamaru pulled out a scroll, placed their hands on it, and the group disappeared with Shizuka before Itachi could process what was happening.

"No! Dammit, Shizuka!" Itachi hissed. He could sense that they were close enough that he could catch up with them. "Don't worry, Shizuka…I'll save you." Itachi began to run in the direction he was sure the Leaf ninjas were.

"I'll save you. Because I love you."

_**-with Hidan and Zenaku-**_

"Zenaku, did you hear that?" Hidan asked, grabbing her arm. She listened silently, and could hear the crunching of leaves close by them.

"Yes. What it is?" Zenaku whispered cautiously.

As she asked that question, Choji, Shino, Anko, and Ino burst out of the trees, all of which were pointing weapons at them. (Asuma's taking a personal day with his cancer sticks of doom)

"Akatsuki scum!" Anko called out. "Give the girl to us!"

"F*** no!" Hidan held Zenaku protectively. "She's mine!"

"Give her to us…"Shino said in his creepy calm voice. "And you won't get hurt."

"Feh, I WISH you could hurt me. Bring it on, you f***ing jack-asses!" Hidan yelled.

Zenaku threw a punch at Anko, anxious to fight. Anko dodged and spun around, returning the punch with an accurate kick. Zenaku fell back as the ninja's leg slammed into her stomach.

Hidan glared in anger at Anko. "You'll pay for that, b****!"  
Zenaku got up slowly and layed a restraining hand on Hidan. "No. She's mine. This is our fight, no one else's!"

They two girls began to fight, using deadly taijutsu and various ninja weapons. Hidan had no other choice to watch helplessly, until Zenaku was thrown back against a tree. She gasped in pain, and a thin line of blood trickled down her mouth. "H-hidan…Run…" She managed to whisper before passing out.

"Shino! Restrain him!" Ino ordered as she and Choji grabbed the unconscious girl. Shino summoned a swarm of bugs that swirled around Hidan, then attacked.

Hidan couldn't see or breathe as the ninja bugs lowered themselves on his body. He couldn't move, because the insects were sucking out his chakra. All he knew was that those Leaf bastards were taking Zenaku, his one and only love, away from him.

They were going to die soon. Painfully. Slowly.

Suddenly, the bugs slowly dispersed themselves from Hidan's body, until they all disappeared. The Jashinist looked around to see everyone was gone, including Zenaku.  
"NO! Oh Jashin, no!" Hidan growled angrily as his strength quickly returned. "I'll f***ing kill those f***ing Leaf ninjas!"

Hidan began to run, his solitary thought only this: _Zenaku's MY b****. No one can take her away from me._

_Absolutely no one._

_**-with Deidara and Yuki-**_

"I said…release her, un." Deidara repeated to Kiba. When the dog boy refused to answer, Deidara got out a clay bird. "You've forced me to this extreme then."

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." Kiba warned, leaping up in a tree with Yuki tightly in his arms. Yuki squirmed to get out and flashed Deidara a terrified look.

"And why the hell not, un?" Deidara demanded angrily, not liking the fear in Yuki's eyes.

"If you throw an explosive at me, there's a good chance you'll hit her too." Kiba explained, nodding to Yuki. "I don't think you'll want that to happen."  
Deidara grimaced and put his clay back. "Damn…"

Kiba smirked. "Heh, I've out-smarted an Akatsuki member! That's going on the calendar, eh Akamaru?" The ninja hound beside him barked, then growled at Deidara.

"Hinata, Kurenai-sensei!" Kiba called over his shoulder. "Take care of that guy, will you?"

The Byakugan user and the Jonin silently came up from behind Deidara, pinning him against a tree. Kurenai slowly brought a shuriken to Deidara's juglar vein. "Move, and you die."  
Yuki yanked herself out of Kiba's grasp. "NO! Don't hurt him! Please…" She fell to her knees on the tree branch, sobbing. "Just take me, but leave Deidara alone…!"

Kiba yanked Yuki back on her feet. "I think we should at least do that." Hinata nodded, and she and Kurenai let Deidara go.

"I-I'm sorry," Hinata apologized to Yuki. "This is for the best."  
As Kiba turned around and began to leap through the trees, Yuki screamed at Deidara, "Deidara! I really do love you! I don't want you to get hurt! Forgive me!" He could hear her voice catch. "Don't…come after us! Stay safe!"

Deidara stared in anger as the Leaf ninjas ran away, with Yuki.

Yuki. HIS Yuki.

"Yuki…" Deidara muttered, slowly stepping forward. "YUKI!"

He had no idea why, but he began to run. He ignored whatever his brain screamed at him to do, and ran.

To save Yuki.

Because he finally realized the one thing he never thought he'd be capable of feeling for someone, was what he felt for that crazy, hyper girl.

Deidara loved Yuki, with all his criminal heart.

**OH! DRAMA! This was typed by Yuki! YAY! The next chapter will be better, we promise! Anyways, thanks for all the supportive reviews guys!  
Oh, and as a message to a certain reviewer/friend who I hope knows who she is…**

**You get Deidara tomorrow, okay? Have fun with him~! XD**

**R&R! Constructive criticism (A.K.A. a nice flame) is welcomed! We'd like to hear what you guys think we could do to make this story better.**

**Yuki over and out! (yesh that was juvenile, but I wanted to say something retarded. :3)**


	24. Chapter 23

_**Chapter 24**_

In Konoha…

Yuki was a mindless, respondless vegetable. Zenaku was bawling her eyes out. And Shizuka was mad. Very, very mad.

"Shizu-chan, why?" Zenaku sobbed as the three girls sat in a jail-cell in the Leaf Village. "I thought the Konoha ninjas were nice!"

Shizuka shrugged. "I bet Tsunade's being a b****. She wants us for our Kekkai Genkais. I saw it in Naruto's head; they want to…make us 'ultimate ninjas' or some crap like that."

"That's stupid." Zenaku sniffed. "I hate Boob-Lady."  
The two girls smiled a little at Zenaku's joke. Zenaku prodded Yuki on the arm pleadingly. "Yuki-chan? Come one, you laugh too! You made that nickname up! …Yuki?"

Yuki gave no response. She was huddled in a ball, listening to her iPod and staring straight at the wall with a blank, glazed look.

"Zen, just leave her alone. She'll get over the fact we're not with the Akatsuki." Shizuka said. She turned to the ANBU who was guarding their cell. "Hey…did you know I have a fever?"

The ANBU grunted. "I don't care."

Shizuka poked his mask through the bars hard. "Ow…is your mask made of metal?"  
"No. It's made of wood. …the metal's on the outside."

Shizuka glared at the elite ninja and turned back to her friends. "He's a meany jack."

About 15 minutes later, Tsunade came walking towards the girls' cell. "I bet you're all wondering why you're here." The Hokage began, before Zenaku angrily interrupted her.

"YOU'RE STUPID! I HATE YOU!" Zenaku stuck her tongue out at the woman. Tsuande ignored her outburst and continued.

"You're here because the Leaf Village needs your Kekkai Genkais. You see, you three are originally from this world. Each one of your parents were the last of your clans, and now they're dead. So you're the last ones now."  
Shizuka and Zenaku stared at Tsunade, then recovered. "Well, that actually isn't a shock to us. We kinda figured that out in a sense." Zenaku said.

"Oh. Well then, time to continue. Anyway, you're biological parents sent you to that other place. The world where we are known as… 'anime' and 'manga'. They'd hoped you would survive, and come back here." Tsunade finished.

Shizuka randomly pointed at Tsunade and blurted, "You have big boobs. WHY ARE THEY SO DAMN BIG?!"  
Tsuande twitched, and an anger vein throbbed on her forehead as Shizuka continued. "Plus, you're Barbie almost! Wait, Barbie's not that fat…oh and she's not that old either! And why do you have a spot on your forehead? Are you Indian?"

Tsuande spun around and stomped away in anger, muttering something along the lines of hating teenagers.

Zenaku and Shizuka gave each other a highfive, then looked at Yuki. Yuki was now drawing in the dirt at the bottom of the cell. It looked like she was drawing Deidara.

"Yuki, you need to snap out of it." Zenaku shook her friend. "Seriously, being a vegetable is really creepy for you! Where's our hyper idiot we love so much?"  
Yuki simply looked up at Zenaku and croaked out, "He's not here."

"Yuki, the Akatsuki are going to be coming. Itachi promised me." Shizuka said comfortingly. "We have to be patient."

Obviously, Shizuka wasn't good at being patient, because five minutes later she was back to annoying the ANBU guard.

"Why do you where that mask?" Shizuka asked. "Why are you mean? Are you Sasuke in disguise? That's why you're wearing a mask! To kill Itachi in secret! My fever is worse and making me delirious, because I see Itachi. "  
The ANBU spun around, but it was too late. Itachi stabbed the poor man in the stomach, and kicked the body to the corner.

"Itachi!" Shizuka gasped. "Wow I must be really out of it."

Zenaku shook her head. "Uh, Shizuka? I see him too."

Itachi unlocked the cell and swept Shizuka in his arms. "I thought I lost you…"He murmured into her ear.

Shizuka giggled uncertainly. "Why? I'm too awesome to be lost!"

Itachi placed a hand on her forehead. "You're burning up. That's bad." Itachi looked over at Zenaku and the vegetable-Yuki. "Hidan and Deidara are on their way. I'll take Shizuka out of her to treat her fever."  
Zenaku nodded. "That's fine with me. Be safe."  
Itachi disappeared with Shizuka, leaving Zenaku and Yuki alone.

Yuki slowly stood up, resting her head on the cold bars of the cell. "…I'm sorry, Zen-chan."

"For what?"  
"For…being…weak." Yuki murmured. "I'm so sorry."

Zenaku hugged her friend. "You're not weak, Yuki. You're crazy; there's a difference."  
Yuki smiled slightly. "Thanks for establishing that intelligent fact."

Suddenly, Zenaku was grabbed from behind at the waist. "Did you miss me?"

Zenaku spun around and leapt at Hidan. "Dan-Dan! Of course I did!"  
Hidan smirked and licked her cheek. "Mmm…you still taste sweet."  
Zenaku blushed and looked at Yuki. "Hidan, um, don't do that in front of people."

Hidan just smirked more. "Whatever you say." He hugged her tightly. "You wanna blow this f***ing popsicle stand?"  
"Yes. Yuki, will you survive by yourself?" Zenaku asked carefully.

Yuki nodded, looking away as her voice broke. "Yeah…I'll be fine."

Zenaku was hesitant to leave Yuki, but she was anxious to be with Hidan. "Okay. Don't turn all vegetable again. See you later!" She and Hidan disappeared quickly.

Yuki sighed, then plopped back down on the ground and curled up into a ball again. "I miss Deidara. I hope he's okay."

Minutes passed. Time seemed to trickle by slowly, like when you're trying to squeeze out the last bit of toothpaste out of the tube. Yuki started to sink back into vegetable-mode again, even though she desperately wanted to be stronger.

Soon there was a tap on her back. "Yuki, wake up, un. Time to go."  
Yuki didn't respond. Something in her mind told her not to, and she had no idea why.

"Yuki?" Deidara shook the girl. "Yuki! Snap outta it, un!"

She still didn't respond, just stared blankly at her feet.

Deidara grabbed her and yanked her up, staring straight into her eyes. "Don't you DARE go all comatose on me, un! I won't be able to deal with it! I was worried enough about you!"  
Yuki's eyes wavered, and her lips trembled as she attempted to talk. "You were…worried?"  
Deidara nodded, glad to get a response. "Yes! I thought…I thought…ah, screw it un. Let's get out of here."  
The artist grabbed the girl's hand roughly, pulling her with him into the middle of the cell. Yuki stared at their entwined fingers, and blushed. "Deidara-kun? I-I missed you."  
Deidara looked down at her face, and couldn't help but smile. "I missed you too, un. Now let's go."  
And that's exactly what they did. When Tsunade came back to find her ANBU dead, and her three prisoners gone, she uttered this oath angrily into the stagnant air of the dungeon-like jail of Konoha:

"Zenaku Kuroyami, Shizuka Kirai-Aijin and Yuki Ryu…you will regret toying with us. The Leaf Village needs your abilities, and we won't stop until we get them."

**OMFG!!!!!! Why does Tsunade want the girls so badly?! When will Deidara tell Yuki his feelings? When will Itachi and Shizuka kiss again? And how the hell does an S-ranked Jashinist criminal ninja created in Japan like Hidan know the phrase "Let's blow this popsicle stand?"**

**You'll have to read on to find out…**

**Well…not so much the "popsicle stand" comment, but the other stuff you will.**

**This was written by Yuki, but me and Amaya story mapped basically this whole thing at school today. Pretty damn good chapter, ne? XD**

**Now review! And when Rose gets back…she'd better make a amazing, fluffy, freaking awesome chapter. We miss her...TT_TT**

**ROSE-CHAN IF YOU'RE READING THIS, WE MISS YOU!!!!!!!!!!**


	25. Chapter 24

_**Chapter 25**_

_**-with Itachi and Shizuka-**_

Everyone was back at the Akatsuki base after saving our three heroines from the evil clutches of Boob Lady-er, I mean TSUNADE- and now it was night. Yuki and Deidara were in Deidara's bedroom, Zenaku and Hidan were in Hidan's bedroom, and Shizuka and Itachi?  
Well, Shizuka was recovering from her fever by lying on Itachi's bed with a cold washcloth across her forehead, and Itachi was staring at her very oddly.

"Itachi…did I say anything weird when I was delirious?" Shizuka asked slowly.

Itachi shook his head. "Not really. Other than calling an ANBU Sasuke in a mask." He smiled a bit. "It was actually very entertaining."

Shizuka blushed and stuck her tongue out. "So? I was delirious, I had no control!" She got up from the bed and tripped over nothing as she made her way to the door. "Ow…I have no clue how I did that…"

Itachi smirked and crawled into his bed. "Shizuka, you all right?"

"Yes. Maybe. How about yeah-no?"Shizuka answered, lying on the floor. "I don't want to get up." She looked up at Itachi. "Hey Itachi, can I take you up on that offer now?"

Itachi's face went blank. "What offer?"  
Shizuka went red again. "Oh…nevermind…" She slowly got up. "I'll just go get my water now."

Itachi smirked. "Shizuka, do you mean…this offer?" Itachi slid closer to the side of the bed and lifted the sheets up so Shizuka could get a good look at the lean, muscular body underneath them. He had somehow managed to take his shirt off undetectable by Shizuka in the short time under the sheets. The effect on Shizuka was, well…

Shizuka was about to get a nosebleed as she stared at Itachi's perfect, sculpted body. "I…ta…chi…"

"Yes Shizuka?" Itachi's smirk got wider. "Do you need something?"  
Shizuka, despite herself and her calm, rational ways, buried herself under those sheets and layed next to Itachi so quick, even Naruto wouldn't believe it. She looked at Itachi in embarrassment. "Um…okay, I'm just going to come out and say this: I love you, Itachi."

Itachi wrapped his arms around Shizuka and pulled her tightly to his body. "I love you too, Shizuka." He murmured into her hair. He kissed her softly, and she kissed back.

"This is the best night of my life, Itachi." Shizuka whispered to Itachi in between kisses. "Actually, this whole time has been the best. Just being with you is enough to make me feel happy."

"I feel the same." Itachi answered just as quietly.

Shizuka smiled. "You know, this is completely OOC for me."  
"What's OOC mean?"  
"Out of character. Basically, I never act this way. But…" Shizuka snuggled herself under the covers more and scooted closer to Itachi. "Let's make it our secret that I have the ability to act like this, okay?"

Itachi nodded. "Of course, Shizuka." The two fell asleep in each other's arms lovingly, despite the fact that they were known by their peers as emotionless.

_**-with Hidan and Zenaku-**_

"I'm glad you're back Zenaku." Hidan muttered against the blushing girl's smooth neck as he slowly kissed the skin tenderly. "I was so angry. I was going to kill those f***ing bastards who took you."  
"U-um…" Zenaku shivered as Hidan continued his trail of kisses down her neck. "I missed you too."  
"You're still not used to this, are you?" Hidan asked, his eyes shining with humor

Zenaku shook her head. "I've never had a relationship like this before." She gulped. "So I'm not sure of what to do."  
Hidan rubbed her hair between his fingers. "Don't worry. This sort of thing isn't too hard. Hey," Hidan's eyes lit up with excitement. "We should throw a welcome back party for you guys! Even though you were gone for a day…but still! Great f***ing idea, right?"  
Zenaku grinned in agreement. "Hells yes! Let's plan it out!"  
"I'll get the booze!" Hidan declared happily. Zenaku crossed her arms at him. "No, I'm underage. I can't drink." Hidan waggled his eyebrows at her. "But I can, Zenaku…" His voice got suggestive. "Think of the fun we could have…hammered."  
Zenaku rolled her eyes. "I am saving alcohol til I'm 21. Okay?"  
"What about sex?"

"Sorry, Hidan. Abstinence until marriage for me." Zenaku apologized.

"Then we'll just hafta get f***ing hitched." Hidan smirked at Zenaku's shocked face.

"Was that a proposal?"

"Maybe." Hidan turned around to hide his smirk. "Maybe not."  
Zenaku punched his shoulder lightly. "You ass. But that's why I love you."  
"Well, that's a f***ing reasonable answer for loving someone."

"Oh just shut up and kiss me."  
"With pleasure." Hidan turned back to Zenaku and kissed her roughly, enjoying the whimpers of pleasure that she emitted from her mouth. The two were inseparable, unbreakable, entwined with each other in spirit. They were each other's and no one else's.

Zenaku broke away for air, gasping as she licked her chapped lips. "Good God, Hidan. Where the hell did you learn to kiss like that?"

"I don't know. I just do whatever the f*** my body tells me to do. Like this s***, right now." Hidan answered by pushing her onto his bed and pulling the covers over the two of them in one fluid motion.

Zenaku inched her body close to him and sighed. "This is wonderful."  
Hidan put his arms around her and sighed too. "Yes, yes it is."

They fell asleep quickly after that, their hearts seeming to beat in tune with the other person's.

_**-with Deidara and Yuki-**_

"Deidara, I swear on my life I will not go fangirl." Yuki swore as Deidara stepped into his bathroom to take a shower. "I'll just wait patiently with my iPod."  
"All right, un." Deidara shut the door, and Yuki could hear the shower turn on. She leaned against the bed and began to listen to her iPod. Soon, before she realized it, Deidara had gotten out and was standing behind her while she warbled out a horrendous version of "I Kissed a Girl."

"What the F*** Yuki?" Deidara snatched the earphones out of her ears. "You're…bisexual?"  
"NO! It's a song you dumb-ass…whoa." Yuki stared at Deidara. "Deidara…why are you wearing nothing but a…towel?"  
Deidara -who indeed was only wearing a towel wrapped around his torso- simply smirked. "Because I like the breeze."  
Yuki gaped, and a thin trickle of blood began to flow from her nose. "Ah…I….um, Deidara…"  
"Do you want me to put some clothes on, un?" Deidara asked, his voice turning naughty.

"Not really…but I'd appreciate it." Yuki muttered, taking her eyes away. "Please?"

Deidara smirked. "Yes ma'am." He went back to the bathroom to put some clothes on, and came back with a tight-fitting muscle shirt and long black pants. Yuki wiped her nose in embarrassment.

"Hey Yuki, there's…something I need to tell you, un." Deidara said slowly. He sat down on the bed and motioned for her to join him. Once Yuki was settled beside him, Deidara took a deep breath. "Okay. When I first met you, I thought you were a crazy idiot, un."  
"Ah, ah, ah! I am THE crazy idiot." Yuki interrupted with a giggle. "Carry on."

"Well, now I…I…" Deidara gulped, not sure how to put his feelings into words. "Now I…"  
Yuki stared at him. "You can say it, you know."

"Oh screw it, un!" Deidara got up off the bed and stared hard into Yuki's eyes. "I think I love you, un! And it's making me go crazy!"

Yuki blinked, then lolled onto the bed backwards. Deidara quickly rushed to her side, and poked her.  
"She…passed out. Great, un. Just whoopdee-flipping-doo great."

**TADA! **

**Itachi and Shizuka are more in love now! YAYZ!**

**Hidan and Zenaku are gonna have a par-tay!**

**And finally…**

**Deidara hath finally confessed to Yuki. Took him 25 chapters though. Dumb ass. **

**Anyways, Yuki typed this up because Amaya hasn't had time. Soooo…yeah. Review and that good stuff.  
**


	26. Chapter 25

_Why Criminals make Bad Teachers _

_Chapter25_

The day had passed quickly, and it was soon time for the party that Hidan and Zenaku had been planning. The party was going according to plan. There was plenty of food (mostly fudge requested by Shizuka), and the refrigerator was stocked full of various caffeinated drinks and the occasional alcoholic beverage, which was having a big impact on the party.

Sadly, not only Hidan but many other Akatsuki members drank _sake_ and other adult drinks frequently. Even Konan, Pein, and Itachi drank at least once a week, which was kind of odd considering… well, you know what I mean.

The party had begun only an hour ago… and well, Hidan was… sort of drunk already, Yuki and Deidara had decided to hang out in the kitchen, and Shizuka and Itachi were off in their little emo corner slow dancing. I know romantic right?

-with Shizuka and Itachi-

Shizuka was content pretty much, except for the fact that she had just seen Itachi drink _sake,_ which she hadn't really expected.

Itachi took another sip of his drink, and Shizuka stared at him with a raised eyebrow, "Itachi… uh, not to be mean or anything, but seeing you drink is just plain weird."

He smirked, "Well, when you've have a life like mine you find it very easy to drink once in a while." At that statement he even laughed! Immediately once he had laughed, Shizuka got the feeling that he was drunk.

"Itachi, I think you've drank a little too much," Shizuka stated.

"… have not."

Shizuka shook her head, "Well, good luck with tomorrow morning. You'll definitely have a hang-over."

"I will not, you wanna know why?" he hiccupped even, "because I'm an Uchiha, and we don't have problems."

Shizuka then raised both eyebrows._ Is he SERIOUS? The Uchihas DEFINITELY have problems._ She thought, but it was best if she didn't say anything, so she kept quiet, "Itachi… I'm not letting you have alcohol ever again."

-with Hidan and Zenaku-

"Come on Zenaku, you gotta f*****try this stuff!" Hidan grinned, holding up a bottle of _sake._ Zenaku shook her head.

"Sorry Hidan, but that stuff smells desgusting," she shook her head, wrinkling her nose in disgust at the drink. Hidan narrowed his eyes.

"_Sake_ isn't f***** disgusting!"

"Well, I'm underage, so I can't drink it anyway," she crossed her arms. Hidan rolled his eyes.

"Fine, but you're missing out," he said. The two stood there for a while saying nothing, until a new song started playing. Zenaku wanted to dance with Hidan badly, but she didn't think he'd go for something like that. She looked down, thinking that she shouldn't have agreed to this party, but even in his drunkenness, Hidan noticed something was up.

"Uh, Zenaku is something wrong?" he asked hesitantly.

She shook her head, "No."

Hidan then smirked knowingly, "You want to dance, don't you?"

Zenaku looked up in surprise, and then nodded before he took the offer away. And so, the two danced.

-with Yuki and Deidara-

"Yuki, a couple of days ago, I would have killed you if you even tried to hug me, but now…" he trailed off, thinking of how he was going to continue. He had something to tell her, a surprise that he had come up with in his spare time. He took out a small clay kitten, "Yuki, I've named my new masterpiece after you," he said, holding out the kitten.

Yuki looked at it, jaw dropping, "Deidara… it… IT'S A KITTY CAT!" she then pulled him into a suffocating hug, which lasted for a minute.

"Yuki, much longer, and I think I'll die from suffocation," he stated. She loosened her grip so that she was facing him. The two were silent for a moment, as they stared into each other's eyes.

"I think I know what comes next," Yuki murmured, as she and Deidara slowly leaned in toward each other.

"I do to." And then he kissed her.

**Well, that chapter was written by Amaya, because she's finally done with track! She, Yuki, and Rose do not own Naruto. Please Read and Review! And Amaya is sorry that she or Yuki hasn't updated for like… 3 or 4 days… I think. Oh, well. Sadly Rose still can't update. And Amaya is sorry that this hapter was kinda short.**


	27. Chapter 26

_**Chapter 26**_

_**THE NEXT MORNING AFTER THE PARTY…**_

_**-with Itachi and Shizuka-**_

Itachi woke up with a pounding head-ache to the sound of screaming heavy-metal music. Some guy was screeching "GET DOWN WITH THE SICKNESS! YOU MOTHERS, GET DOWN WITH THE SICKNESS!" …all in all, it was an odd song. Itachi blurrily opened his eyes to see Shizuka sitting on the floor with an iPod on her lap, smiling crazily and head-banging to the beat. (The song's "Down With the Sickness" by Disturbed if you wanna know.)

"Shizuka…?" Itachi muttered, his tongue feeling heavy and fuzzy. "What the hell are you doing?"

Shizuka looked up at him. "Um…listening to music? Why?"

"Turn it off! It hurts…"Itachi moaned, rolling on his side and burying his face in a pillow.

"Someone's on a hangover!" Shizuka sang, jumping onto the bed. "This is why you don't drink, Itachi."

Itachi just glared at her through slitted eyes. "Shut. Up. Please."

Shizuka smirked and patted his head. "Ok Itachi. But only because you said please."

"Thank you." He fell back asleep immediately, much to Shizuka's delight. She could stare at him while he was passed out, and practically nothing would wake him up.

"Thank God for hangovers." Shizuka said to herself. "Well, when it's happening to someone else and not me that is." After awhile of doing nothing but watching the great Uchiha drool into a pillow, Shizuka decided to go get breakfast.

…and see how the other Akatsuki members were dealing with their hangovers.

_**-with Hidan and Zenaku-**_

Zenaku giggled psychotically as Hidan slowly and painfully came awake. "Morning, Dan-Dan~!" She called out cheerfully, kissing his cheek. Their little fight was still in the back of her head, but she decided to ignore it.  
After all, she was about to get revenge.

"Hey Zenaku…"Hidan yawned, stretching. "S***…f***ing hangover."  
"Go clean yourself up." Zenaku demanded with a happy smirk. "You look horrid. No offense!"

"Okay…"The Jashinist slid out of bed and onto the floor, making his way to the bathroom in an army crawl. When he got to the mirror, he stopped. "…what. The. F***?"

Zenaku bursted out laughing as Hidan glared at his reflection. She had drawn in permanent marker all over his face "I HATE JASHIN" and also dyed his cloak that he was still wearing from last night in rainbow colors.

Girls know revenge is a dish best served when the revenge-y is hungover. Especially Zenaku.

"ZENAKU!" Hidan roared, wincing in pain as the loud yell hurt his throbbing head. "Did you do this?"

"Maybe…." Zenaku giggled, then sped out the door when an angry Hidan lunged at her. "I'm sorry Hidan!" She called as she ran away down the hall. "I couldn't resist!"

"YOU'RE DEAD!" Hidan vowed. "…er not physically, I won't hurt you…I guess I'll f***ing…OH I GOT IT!IN A F***ING MENTAL SENSE! I WILL TEACH YOU NOT TO MESS WITH A MAN'S F***ING RELIGION!"

Zenaku just laughed it off, having no idea that what Hidan had planned for her was going to be something the two of them were looking forward to.

…But mostly Hidan. (OMG A LEMON SPOILER? Hells no! something else! XD I know I'm a bitch.)

_**-with Deidara and Yuki-**_

Since Deidara was the only Akatsuki member besides Tobi who hadn't drunk last night, he was feeling fine. He and Yuki were enjoying watching the struggling members on hangovers wake up and stagger to the kitchen for breakfast.

"Hey Pein-sama," Deidara called when Pein entered wearing nothing but his underwear, which had smiley faces on them, "There's a girl in here you know, un." He covered Yuki's eyes.

Pein peered at Yuki, then realized what he was wearing…er, what he WASN'T wearing I mean. "Oh s***." He cursed under his breath, running out to put on some clothes.  
"Thank you, Deidara." Yuki shuddered. "I think I'm scarred now. I'd rather that was you instead of Pein."

"Yuki, you already saw me in a towel and nothing else, un." Deidara pointed out.

"So. …I'm a pervert." Yuki grinned. "I enjoy seeing you with no clothes. You should see my Google image browsing history."  
Deidara stared at Yuki, then smirked. "You dirty little girl."

"I'm not a little girl. I'm SIXTEEN!"

"Ok, you dirty little teenaged girl, un."

"That's much better." Yuki nodded approvingly. "So…what's on the agenda for today?"  
Deidara shrugged. "I dunno, un. Everyone's probably too hungover to do stuff."  
"Then let's go on a date!" Yuki decided, jumping up and down. When Deidara gave her an odd look, she glared at him. "Hey, you owe me this. I've been in love with you since I was thirteen, when I first started watching the Shippuden. That's been three long years of settling for fanfics and stuff about you. The least you can do, after realizing you love me, is take me out on a date." She paused, thinking of what else to say. "It doesn't have to be too romantic and s***. I just…want to kiss you more. I need to make up for all those years of not kissing you!"  
Deidara smiled and stroked her hair, causing Yuki to blush. "Ok Yuki. Let's go on a date, un."

***sigh* Sorry that was short too! We're just running out of ideas! TT_TT**

**This was by Yuki.**

**We'll try to get more up, since summer vacation is starting Wednesday for me and Amaya!**

**Anyways, review! Tell us if it sucked, which I know it did!**

**And if you honestly didn't think it sucked, you're an angel and I love you.**

…**in a friend way, nothing too creepy and pedophilish. I'm not freaking Orochiamru! XD**


	28. Chapter 27

**Why Criminals Make Bad Teachers, Chapter 28**

**Kisame and Kakuzu appear in this chapter for the awesome reviewer _Kisame's Shadow_ because her review made me laugh.**

**Kisame: I love you Shadow-chan~**

_- - -…With Shizuka…- - -_

"Mmmm….now I know why Itachi loves this stuff..." Shizuka sighed happily, biting into a stick of dango, "…So yummy.."

Kisame walked into the kitchen, seeming strangely non-hung-over and sat down opposite Shizuka. Shizuka stared at him, a black eyebrow raised in slight disbelief.

"What?" Kisame asked after a two-minute staring contest, slightly annoyed he lost.

"You're not hung-over! Why not?" Shizuka questioned, pointing at him with a purple painted nail.

"Special jutsu." Kisame answered.

"What he means is **he gets hung-over to often, so **we created a special jutsu** for the fish-fucker.**" Zetsu remarked, his body half absorbed into the ceiling. Shizuka snorted.

"Fish-fucker?" She asked Kisame, barely holding in a laugh. Kisame flushed.

"That happened once Zetsu!" The large fish-man whined, glaring at our favourite cannibal.

"Actually, it was five times, **can't count yet dumb-ass**?" Zetsu replied and poofed off, Kisame following angrily. Shizuka sweat-dropped.

"…That was weird…"

_- - -…With Zenaku…- - -_

"Heh-heh…He'll never catch me!" Zenaku laughed proudly, striking a Rock Lee pose.

"Oh really? I'm fucking pissed off you know…" Hidan stated, smirking, and grabbed her wrist, dragging her back to his room (They are not gonna make babies…yet. XD)

"Dan-Dan?" Zenaku cried in surprise, "Lemme go!"

"Fuck no. This is my revenge." Hidan gave her a crazy grin. Zenaku shivered and screamed as loudly as she could, "RAPE! ASSAULT!"

Hidan rolled his eyes, "Relax woman."

"NOOOOO! I admit it, I wanna have kids, but I DON'T WANNA BE RAPED! HELP ME KAKUZU!" Zenaku screamed to a hung-over Kakuzu, who covered his ears and glared at her angrily.

"Shut up!" he growled, "Or I'll kill you and steal your money!"

Hidan glared back at Kakuzu.

"Zenaku's MY bitch money-whore!" he snapped and continued dragging Zenaku down the hallway.

Kakuzu sighed and rubbed his temples, preparing to go back to bed, his head hurt like hell.

Hidan went into his room, slamming the door behind him, Zenaku backing against the wall.

"Dan-Dan?" She asked hesitantly. Hidan leaned down towards her, his purple orbs locking with Zenaku's ice-blue eyes.

"Listen Zenaku…" he purred, "I'm going to make you a Jashinist, got it?"

"But Hidan, I didn't ask Yuki and Shizuka!" Zenaku protested, shock clear in her eyes.

"Screw them." Hidan hissed, he didn't hate the other two girls, he affectionately named them as annoying little sisters in his mind but he was going to do this.

Zenaku closed her eyes, her heart hammering underneath her rib-cage in fear.

"Do it…" Zenaku muttered, "Just hurry it up…"

Hidan kissed her forehead.

"It'll be okay Zen-chan." he murmured, feeling Zenaku relax when he spoke her nick-name.

And so he prepared to start the ritual, her recently spoken words echoing in his head '_I admit it, I wanna have kids' _and grinned.

As much as he hid it, Hidan actually wanted to be a father. And wanted Zenaku to bear his children.

- _- -…With Yuki, at her date with Deidara..- - -_

For the newly in love couple, they went to a café which sold pretty much any kind of food. Yuki ordered a strawberry sundae, because, well she likes strawberries, plus it was a warm day and Deidara ordered sweet dumplings.

"Thanks Dei!" Yuki exclaimed and gave Deidara a strawberry…through a kiss. Cute, no?

Deidara grinned and popped a dumpling in Yuki's mouth. He was happy that Yuki accepted him, extra mouths and all.

"Dei I love you this much!" Yuki held out her arms as wide as she could, smiling happily.

Deidara laughed and nuzzled her neck.

"Thanks, un." He murmured. Yuki beamed.

"Deidara, if you ever had kids what would you name them?" Yuki asked randomly. Deidara raised a blond eyebrow, pondering the question and wondering why Yuki even asked him that.

"Aya, Aimi or Ichigo." He answered. Yuki blinked.

"Aya means colour, Aimi means love, affection and beautiful. Ichigo means...strawberry?" Yuki tilted her head.

"The names remind me of you, un." Deidara replied and kissed Yuki's forehead. Yuki flushed then grinned.

"I love you Deidara, I really do." She murmured happily, then kissed Deidara passionately.

**Kya~ God, I love this story. Anyway this was written by Rose. Here's Kakuzu!**

**Kakuzu: *Glares* I feel awful....**

**Me: HELLO!**

**Kakuzu: Dear god...REVIEW BEFORE I STEAL YOUR HEART! **

**Me: 0_0 That sounded completly different then what it was supposed to mean....Kakuzu loves you all! XD**

**Kakuzu: *Goes red* I do not! **

**Me: YES YOU DO! Anyhoo, review~ **


	29. Chapter 28

_**Chapter 29**_

_**-the next day-**_

"Oh my god guys look!"Yuki ran into the living room of the Akatsuki base, where everyone was sitting down and just talking about random stuff.

"What?" Zenaku asked, raising an eyebrow at the bundle in Yuki's arms. "Did you save another rabid squirrel again?"  
"Yuki, we've been over this. They're rabid; they will bite you and you will turn more psycho than you already are and we will have to kill you." Shizuka sighed, tapping her foot in annoyance as she and Zenaku had a flashback to when Yuki once tried to keep a sick squirrel as a pet in the janitor's closet at school.

…which the staff found out about and it caused a big commotion…

Yuki sweatdropped. "Er…no it's not another animal. …besides that poor squirrely needed my tender love and protection. DAMN YOU EPA!" Yuki held her fist up in anger.

"Yuki, get on with it." Itachi prompted. Yes, he's off his hangover. So is everyone else.

"Ok, get ready to crap your pants!" Yuki swept the sheet off the thing she had in her arms and held it up for all to see. "TA-DA!"

"Yuki! Is that…?" Zenaku pointed at the object Yuki held in her hands with a shaking finger. "Is that…?"

"Why yes it is Zen-chan! It's…a Wii!" Yuki grinned as she cradled the game console in her arms. "I woke up today and there it was. With some games of course. Deidara, bring 'em in here!"  
Deidara came striding in with a bunch of Wii games; Need for Speed, Super Mario Galaxy, Mario Kart, Call of Duty (yes it's a Wii game too, not just X-Box…I looked it up) and the most important one…ROCKBAND.

Shizuka shot up from her spot on the couch and grabbed Rockband out of Deidara's hands. "Yuki, did the guitar and stuff come with this?"

"Yep! It's in Dei's room. There's a TV in there too!" Yuki explained happily.

"Well, why the hell are we just standing around here for? Let's get it set up!" Shizuka demanded. Zenaku nodded in agreement, and the three girls raced to Deidara and Yuki's room to get the Wii connected.

"The Akatsuki base must be magic." Zenaku mused aloud as they got everything hooked up. "Our technology just keeps popping up and working!"  
"I suspect it has something to do with Pein." Shizuka said as she plugged in a wire. "Actually, because of my psychic abilities, I know it."

"Well, we need to thank him." Yuki decided with a grin. "He's been pretty nice to us if you think about it."

"Yeah, he has." Zenaku nodded. "I'm glad."

"Me too." Shizuka nodded. "Ah-hah! Got it all set up!"

"YAY~!" Yuki jumped up and down excitedly. "What should we play first?"

Zenaku and Shizuka looked at each other and said in unison. "Rockband."

"Knew that was coming." Yuki shook her head. "All right, let's do this thing!" (LOL that's what she said XD)

Awhile later the Akatsuki could hear loud music and sing-screaming coming from Deidara's room. Sasori rolled his eyes at Deidara. "You're never getting your room back, you know that right?"

Deidara sighed. "Yeah, un. But hey! At least they're having fun, un." (OMFG IT RYHMED)

"I guess so." Sasori shrugged, not giving a crap as long as the girls didn't mess with his puppets. "Hey Itachi, Hidan, Deidara, you guys do it yet?"  
"…what?" Itachi narrowed his eyes in confusion at the red-headed puppeteer.

"Sasori, what the f*** is that supposed to mean?" Hidan demanded angrily.

"Danna!" Deidara glared at him. "You sick bastard, un!"

Sasori shrank back as he felt the angry auras emitting from the three other Akatsuki members. "Uh…I gotta go…build a puppet! Bye!" He sped off like a frightened rabbit.

"Hey guys!" Kisame, Kakuzu, Zetsu, and Tobi suddenly walked in the living room with sour looks on their faces. (They left after Yuki, Shizuka, and Zenaku went to plug in the Wii)

"What?" Itachi asked in annoyance.

"Pein-sama needs to see all of us." Tobi explained. "We already told Sasori-san when we saw him walking in the hall. C'mon, it's important!"

Hidan, Itachi, and Deidara rolled their eyes but followed their fellow Akatsuki members into Pein's office.

Meanwhile, back in Deidara's room, the girls were totally kicking $$ on Rockband. Shizuka was the designated guitarist, Zenaku was on the drum set, and Yuki was the vocalist. (yeah…Deidara's gonna hafta get himself a new room. So is Yuki. :3)

"Whoa~~~ We're half-way there! WHOA-OH! Livin' on a prayah!" Yuki sang, tapping the microphone to the beat. Zenaku banged the drumsticks on the set, headbanging and mouthing the words to "Livin' on A Prayer" and Shizuka was calmly pressing the buttons on the guitar.

"STAR POWER SHIZUKA!" Zenaku screeched as a guitar solo came up for Shizuka. "You go girl-oh crap I missed a beat!" She went back to feverishly playing the drums.

Yuki smirked as the song ended, all three girls panting. "See? I said I can sing well when I want to."

"Then sing well all the time." Shizuka deadpanned. "Now which song is next?"

Zenaku and Yuki looked at each other mischievously. "Hmmm…Down With the Sickness?" The two knew that song got Shizuka pumped and crazy, and she couldn't resist saying yes to it.

Shizuka's eyes widened. "Yes! I love that song! Time to get my emo on."

They scrolled through the songs and soon that heavy metal, emo/goth, yet totally awesome beat of Disturbed was blasting through the Akatsuki base. However, Pein's office was soundproofed, so the Akatsuki couldn't hear it.

"Akatsuki, I have some disturbing news." Pein said slowly, looking each of his subordinates in the eye. "The girls…their power is growing. But that's bad."  
"Why?" Hidan asked. Everyone else chimed in their confusion.

Konan took the conversation over. "We never really told you what exactly the girls have inside them. We figured it would be safer for all of us that way. But now…we need to tell you just what we're dealing with."  
"Well, get on with it, un!" Deidara demanded.

Konan glared at his outburst. "I will! God…"

"Deidara, refrain from being an annoying asshole, okay?" Itachi muttered, ignoring the blonde bomber's angry glare.

"Anyway…"Konan resumed explaining. "Each of the girls have a -I know this sounds completely cheesy and retarded, but it's true- they have some sort of…crystal inside their bodies. These crystals were placed inside them as newborn babies, and grew in power as they got older."  
"The Leaf Village wants to extract these crystals and keep them 'safe' from other Villages to use as weapons." Pein said when Konan looked at him to take over. "That's why Tsuande kidnapped them."  
"Then we gotta f***ing stop those Leaf bastards!" Hidan interrupted. Kakuzu smacked him over the head and told him to shut up.

"There's one last thing; once the crystals are extracted, Yuki, Shizuka and Zenaku will die." Pein finished calmly. The whole office became quiet. The Akatsuki all stared at Pein in disbelief, until Tobi finally said, "It's like the Jinchuriiki, isn't it? Once we take away their demons, they die."  
"Precisely, Tobi." Pein nodded. "All in all, those girls are basically Jinchuriiki without tailed demons. In place of those monsters, they hold crystals."

"Pein, we can't let that happen, un!" Deidara protested angrily. "Yuki means everything to me!"  
"Shizuka…is mine forever. No one can take her away." Itachi said quietly.

"And like I've f***ing said so many damn times already: Zenaku's MY b****!" Hidan snarled at the thought of his love dying.

Pein and Konan looked at the three Akatsuki members who had spoken up. "So, I take that as a confirmation of what we thought?" Pein asked a little smugly, smirking.

Deidara, Itachi, and Hidan stared at their leader defiantly. "You three love those girls, don't you?" Pein continued, laughing a little. "Don't worry. I'll let it slide. For now, I have bigger things to worry about."

"Everyone, don't tell the girls about this." Konan announced. "We don't want them to worry about it. We'll just let them have their fun and train, ok? Before the Leaf make their next move, we need to make a plan."  
"Like what? An ambush?" Kisame asked.

"Or how about we** pick them off one by one and eat them** no, I'LL eat them, you guys can** watch.**" Zetsu suggested, licking his lips.

Sasori shuddered. "And I thought I had problems."  
"You do. You make people into puppets." Kakuzu pointed out.

"At least I don't have a special spot under my bed for pennies!" Sasori shot back vehemently.

As Kakuzu opened his mouth to respond, Pein slammed his fist on his desk, creating a loud noise that made the fighting Akatsuki shut up and stare at him in attention. "All of you, shut the hell up and listen! We need a plan, that much is true. But at this moment, I believe we just need to relax. Today, for the least. Tomorrow we will begin to put our ideas together. That's all; you're dismissed."

"Remember, don't tell the girls ANY of this." Konan called out as the organization filed out of the office. "And be nice to them!"  
And thus began the heated battle to save the three fangirls. Of course, our heroines knew nothing about their dilemma; they just thought Tsunade was more of a b**** than she was portrayed in the series. They simply played Rockband with such a passion that even Shizuka was acting like a crazed psycho.

Sometimes the phrase "Ignorance is bliss" is a real b**** slap in the face of reality, huh?

**Wow. Drama. DUN DUN DUUUUUUN. This chapter was written by Yuki! Who, along with Amaya-chan, is now on summer vacation! Be jealous. :3**

**R&R PLEASE! **


	30. Chapter 29

**Why Criminals Make Bad Teachers **

**Chapter 30**

**This chapter is depressing...**

_- - -…With our three heroines...- - -_

"I wanna pick the next song!" Zenaku exclaimed, waving her hands about, Yuki narrowly dodging a drumstick to the eye.

"Hey! Watch it!" Yuki snapped, but her grin took the bite from her words.

"Let's all sing it together." Shizuka suggested.

"YEAH! Hidan and Deidara and Itachi can watch!" Yuki answered, smiling happily.

"Sure. I wanna sing 'The Kill' by 'Thirty Seconds To Mars'!" Zenaku replied.

_- - -…After getting their lovers…- - -_

'What if I wanted to break," Yuki began singing, "Laugh it off in your face. What would you do?"

Deidara thought of Yuki, the crystal, and what would happen if she found out. She would break, perhaps go insane, dangerous,…suicidal. A pained look flashed across his face.

"What if I fell to the floor," Shizuka joined in singing, "Couldn't take this anymore. What would you do, do, do?"

Itachi stared at Shizuka, the person who knew everything...and still cared. She seemed so strong…yet he didn't know what was going on in her head. For all he knew she could be…he shook his head. No, he knew Shizuka and knew that Shizuka wouldn't breakdown…or would she?

Yuki chimed in singing again, "Come break me down. Marry me, bury me. I am finished with you."

Deidara winced as doubts flew across his mind. Yuki, she…wouldn't give up him would she?

"What if I wanted to fight? Beg for the rest of my life. What would you do?"

Hidan watched Zenaku, thought of how she loved him through all the Jashinist stuff, how she would react to having the crystal inside of her. She wouldn't beg to live, would she? She was strong…physically, but what about mentally?

Deidara got up and marched down to Pein, Itachi and Hidan following angrily, planning to ask a few questions.

Our three heroines stared at them leaving, confused.

"What…happened?" Yuki asked, blinking. Zenaku and Shizuka shrugged.

"Tobi knows!" Tobi walked in and sat down, motioning for the girls to do so as well.

When they sat down he continued, "Tobi is not meant to tell but he will. Have you ever hears of the 'Chakra Crystal Legend'?" The three girls shook their heads, "Thought not. I'll tell you the legend. Three crystals, one bright blue representing courage, speed and lightning. One black representing death, night and hatred. And one purple representing happiness, the mind and strength.

"These three crystals could grant amazing powers if one gained all three of them, so a ninja village that no one knows the name of sealed each crystal away into a different clan. The crystals had to be removed by force, but doing so would kill the one who had it inside of them." Tobi pointed at Zenaku, "You have the blue crystal inside of you," He pointed at Shizuka, "You have the black crystal inside of you," Then he pointed at Yuki, "And you have the purple crystal." The three girls stared at him in shock.

"And…Deidara, Hidan and Itachi are only using you, so _they _can get the crystals." Tobi finished before getting up and leaving.

Shizuka shakily stood up and ran. She ran out of fear , of despair.

She ran, until she was out of the Akatsuki base.

She ran until her legs throbbed and blisters appeared.

She laid on the cold grass and released a broken-hearted wail. Her emotions were bursting out, killing her from the inside.

"Itachi…" She whispered, sounding broken, scared, helpless, "Why?"

Then she started to cry, and curled up into a little sobbing ball.

_I loved you Itachi. I thought you understood. But it was all just a lie. You...traitor…_

A girl hovered over her, having knocked her out.

"Ready to go Temari?" Asked a another person, one with purple face-paint.

"Yes Kankuro. Poor thing, I knocked her out to stop her from running." The blonde girl answered.

"Let's take her to Gaara then."

Yuki had ran, to a forest, because she was scared, angry, confused. She tripped over a root and lay on the ground, trying not to cry, blinking back tears through hazel eyes.

"Deidara…Deidara…WHY?" Yuki screamed at the sky, watching her vision blur as tears dripped down her face. She clutched her head in a broken-hearted agony, sobbing loudly, her face damp with mud and tears.

"I..I thought you understood me! That…that you loved me! So…so why?" Her voice cracked and trembled, sounding so confused, so sad. A man appeared from the bushes and hugged her as she cried. Yuki looked up at him, her face flooding with fear.

"K-Kabuto?" She cried, holding up her hands to defend herself. Kabuto raised his hands in a peace-showing motion.

"Relax. You looked so sad, I couldn't help but comfort you." Kabuto chuckled, "I know you can't return to the Akatsuki so will you join Lord Orochimaru?"

"I-I don't…know anymore.." Yuki whispered. Kabuto placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"It'll be okay...just come with me okay?" Kabuto asked. Yuki nodded.

"Okay…."

Zenaku raced down an out of the Akatsuki base while tears leaked down her cheeks. She ran through twisted trees and dying flowers. How bitterly ironic. She kept on running, even when she stood on thorns, stones, nettles until she couldn't breath and collapsed.

"Hidan…I loved you...so why...why…WAS I BETRAYED?" She screamed at the sky angrily from the ground, gasping.

"I..I don't want to die…" Her voice trembled and shook, "I'm scared…." Black spots crossed her vision and she whimpered, "I'm sorry...Yuki, Shizuka…"

She could make out a form standing over her and she shivered.

"N-Neji?"

- - -_ At the Akatsuki base...- - - _

A single note was left on Pein 's desk and it said , in Zenaku's handwriting, the page damp with tears:

_You traitors…_

And Pein cursed at the sky, wondering how the others would react.

**Oooh! DRAMA! This was written by Rose. REVIEW!**

**BTW, this is a message to my friends **

**'Darkness Of Yami'**

**YOU DISABLED THE PM THING ON YOUR PROFILE! I wanna talk to you..but I can't..TT_TT *Cries***


	31. Chapter 30

_**Chapter 31**_

_**Okay guys, Chapters 31-33 will only have one girl in them. Chapter 31 is Yuki, 32 is Shizuka, and 33 is Zenaku. It's for the purpose of the drama, so…yeah. Sorry!**_

_I can't believe it. I'm in that bastard's Orochimaru's place. Why the hell did I allow Kabuto to bring me here? Ugh, I'm such an idiot!_ Yuki was beating herself up mentally about letting herself be brought to Orochimaru's. Sure, she hated the Akatsuki for lying to her and the others, but she hated the snake's group even more. Three words explained her intense hatred: Sasuke, Karin, and rape.

"Yuki," Kabuto poked her from behind, causing Yuki to jump in surprise. "Orochimaru-sama wants to see you."  
"Well, tell Oro-teme I don't give a crap about him. I just…I wanna go…home." Yuki's voice broke on the last word when she realized something very important.

_I don't have a home anymore, do I? Neither do Zenaku or Shizuka. We're…we're alone now._ Yuki clenched her fists, desperate to keep the tears from her eyes.

"Well, you're going whether you want to or not." Kabuto grasped her arm tightly and dragged her throughout the building Orochimaru used as his hideout. They passed many doors, most of which had pain-filled screams or terrified sobbing coming out of them.

_It's like an asylum! Oh god, this is even worse than I thought. At least I haven't seen Sasuke or Karin yet-…aw f***._ Yuki's thoughts trailed off as she and Kabuto passed said ninjas, both of whom were looking at her, then at Kabuto for an explanation.

"This is Yuki. Orochimaru-sama needs her." Kabuto said simply, not bothering to look at Sasuke or Karin while answering. "I believe that's all you need to know."  
"What the hell is up with her hair?" Karin asked, pointing at Yuki's head. "It's like she got attacked by grape punch or something."  
Yuki's mouth dropped open and she fumed in anger. "Oh yeah? Well, what the hell is up with your face? It's like you got dropped as a baby and that made you eternally ugly!"

Karin gaped right back at her. "Oh you b****!"  
"Karin, shut up and stop being an annoying b****." Sasuke muttered with no emotion. "It looks to me that she could kick your sorry ass anytime she wanted to."  
_Well Sasuke, you just got bumped up half a space on my "Who to Like from Naruto"_ _list. But I still don't like you as much. Bastard._ Yuki gulped as she and Kabuto continued walking. "hey, how long is this gonna take Harry?"

"..my name is Kabuto, not Harry."

"I know, but…you look like Harry Potter. We just need to put a lighting shaped scar on your forehead and your good to go. Repeat after me: Expecto Patronum!" Yuki giggled to herself, since it was obvious that Kabuto had no idea what the hell she was talking about. "Ah, I crack myself up."

Kabuto ignored Yuki, choosing instead to adjust his glasses in that creepy way he does with one finger. (And it's his middle finger at that! Hello, he's flipping us all off! Am I the only one ever noticed that?)

Finally, they got to the end of the hallway, and Kabuto opened the door. Inside, Orochimaru was slumped over on a chair, looking very weak. His face lit up somewhat when he saw Yuki. "Thank you for bringing her, Kabuto. You may go now." Kabuto left without a word, leaving Yuki to face the Michael Jackson of the Naruto world by herself. (no offense to any of his lovers out there, I just never really liked Michael Jackson…)

"Yuki Ryuu…" Orochimaru's voice was nothing but a hoarse whisper. "Come closer."

"And what if I don't?" Yuki challenged him defiantly.

"Then I will call Sasuke in here and have him slit your throat, remove your crystal, and use that to heal me instead of telling you a way you can use your Kekkai Genkai without…any horrid side effects." Yuki stared at Orochimaru in horror.

Orochimaru smirked. "Ah yes. I know all about your little gem. And if you listen closely and do as I say, you'll never have to worry about those Leaf Ninjas or the Akatsuki again."

"H-how do I know if you're telling the truth? You…you're a liar!" Yuki accused, trembling with fear.

"Because…I want to live. And you can help me with that, since my precious Sasuke-kun isn't being very forthcoming about allowing me his body." Yuki shuddered at the caring tone the snake used as he spoke of Sasuke like a fangirl speaks of her anime merchandise.

"What…do I have to…do?" Yuki said slowly. She just wanted all of this to be over with.

""Touch me…heal me with your powers. Your water Kekkai Genkai was also used as an incredible healing jutsu back when your clan was still one of the most powerful families, many years ago." Orochimaru explained, extending his pale and sweating hand towards Yuki. "Now do it! Do it, and you'll be safe here always."  
"I don't want to." Yuki whispered. "You're…you're a disgusting creature, Orochimaru! I'd rather be dead than help something like you to come to power once more. Have your 'precious Sasuke-kun' help you."

"I see you don't take my threats seriously." Orochimaru sighed. "Such a shame. Sasuke!"  
Yuki spun around to see and feel a sword pressed to her throat, the cold metal biting into her skin. Sasuke stared into her eyes, and Yuki was astonished to find something almost like pity nestled into his glowing red Sharingan orbs.

"S-sasuke…" Yuki whispered. "Please! Don't…" She gulped, causing the sword to slice more into her throat. A thin line of scarlet blood began to trickle down her throat, tickling the skin as it flowed slowly.

"Sasuke-kun, it seems our little guest here doesn't want to help. Would you mind removing her from my sight?" Orochimaru's eyes glinted as he spoke, chuckling gleefully at the aspect of his "pet" killing.

Sasuke didn't speak. Instead, he simply stared at Yuki, then moved his glance to Orochimaru. Finally, he said one word that surprised both Yuki and Orochimaru.

"…no."

"…what did you say?" Orochimaru demanded slowly.

"No. I am not your play thing anymore." Sasuke removed his sword from Yuki's neck, and she slumped down, trembling as she held the slight cut. _I almost died! Oh my god, Sasuke Uchiha almost cut my throat open. But…why did he stop? Wait! _Yuki's eyes widened in surprise, and she leapt up to stare at Sasuke.

_This is when he's going to kill Orochimaru! And to think, I'm here to witness it…take that, fangirls!_

"Sasuke-kun, what are you doing?" Orochimaru slunk back farther into his chair, the pain and weakness from his fight with the Hokage all those years ago obvious as a grimace flitted across his face. "I am your master! Your teacher! I promised you power!"

"And I will get that power. By killing you!" Sasuke roared, his anger from the abuse he suffered while under Orochimaru's "care" ringing out in his voice. "You should have died a long time ago. This time, YOU will be the one to suffer! NOW DIE!"  
Yuki squeezed her eyes shut as covered her ears, going to her happy place as Orochimaru's death rattle rang across the room. She curled up in a ball, thinking a sentence to herself over and over._ Everything will be all right. Everything will be all right. Everything will be all right._

_EVERYTHING WILL BE ALL RIGHT._

Suddenly, Yuki had the feeling it was all over. She opened her eyes at peered at Sasuke, who was standing over Orochimaru's body with an accomplished smirk on his face. "Sasuke, is he…is Orochimaru finally dead?" Yuki asked quietly.

Sasuke turned to face her. "Yes. He is." Sasuke's body seemed to radiate with power, and Yuki remembered that after Sasuke killed Orochimaru in the series, he gained all Orochimaru's power. Yuki was now seeing this before her eyes.

"Oh…" Yuki whispered, letting the terrified tears she had had back for so long now spill down her cheeks. "Good job."

"So, Yuki, are you going back to the Akatsuki now?" Sasuke asked.

Yuki did a double-take. "Of course not! They want me for my abilities only, just like Orochimaru! They don't love me-" Yuki stopped speaking as Deidara rushed into her mind, sending a fresh wave of tears splashing from her eyes. "They just…wanted to use us….me and my friends!"

Sasuke ignored her tears and sobbing, shaking his head. "You think they just wanted you guys for your power? You're wrong."  
"What are you talking about? One of their members told us!" Yuki said, narrowing her eyes. _And Tobi's a good boy! He's not Madara yet. …wait…what if Tobi wasn't Tobi just then? What if he was…._

_Oh no. _

_Madara lied to us._

_The rest of the Akatsuki…they don't want to use us! They want to protect us! And Tobi…_

"Tobi was just telling us what HE wants to do!" Yuki realized out loud. "Oh crap, I've gotta find Shizuka and Zenaku! Sasuke!" Yuki turned towards the younger Uchiha. "Do you have any idea where my friends may be?"  
Sasuke shook his head. "I'm afraid I don't. I overheard Orochimaru talking with someone a couple of days ago. I assume it's the Akatsuki member who told you and your friends that lie. Orochimaru truly just wanted to use you to become powerful again, and then just kill you. That Akatsuki member agreed to give you to him. That's all I really know."

"Dammit!" Yuki pounded her fist against a wall in defeat. "Damn you Mada-Tobi!"_ That's right; Itachi will tell Sasuke about Madara Uchiha before he dies. I shouldn't tell Sasuke anything that could potentially screw up the future, but I need to! To save Itachi, and to…_

_To eventually, somehow, save Deidara._

"Sasuke, I'm going to go find my friends. But I'm going to tell you this: Some time in the near future, you will meet a member of the Akatsuki who uses explosives. You two will fight, and the Akatsuki member will…" Yuki trailed off, taking a deep breath. "My point is, when that fight happens, I will be there. And if you drive that certain member to a point where he feels it's necessary to kill himself, I will stop the fight, saving him from dying, and saving you from being too badly injured."

Sasuke simply looked at Yuki, and she couldn't detect any kind of emotion from him. "…okay. I don't really care. All I need now is to find my brother, and kill him. You're in the Akatsuki; do you know where he is?"  
_I gotta lie! For Shizuka, and Itachi. Come one Yuki, make it believable! _"I'm sorry. Since I came here, I have no clue where he might be. I think, before I left, he was on a mission."

"On a mission where? Do you at least know that much?" Sasuke's voice seemed to have an almost begging tone.

Yuki shook her head. "No. Maybe…to the Leaf Village? I have no clue. I don't pay attention to the other member's stuff, only mine."  
Sasuke's shoulders visibly slumped. "Well, thanks for that much." He started to walk out of the room, but then stopped and placed his hand on Yuki's shoulder. "Hey, listen. Be safe, ok? It seems to me you're in a situation that's just as messed up as mine. Make smart choices."

And then he was gone.

Yuki stood there, breathing hard. "Oh great, I'm starting to develop fangirlism for Sasuke now. Crap. Just…crap. But hey! At least Deidara is still my one and only…Deidara! Oh, I've gotta hurry and find the girls so we can get back to the Akatsuki. I need to save Deidara. And the girls need to save their guys, too."

And so, without any clue on where she was going, Yuki began to simply walk away from Orochimaru's base to search for her two best friends in the whole world, Shizuka and Zenaku. She was still sacred of what was to come, but now she felt a little better knowing that Deidara loved her, and would never hurt her.

"Don't you worry, guys." Yuki whispered fiercely to herself. "I'm coming."

**Daaaaaaaang! That was a long chapter! And, in case if you can't tell by now, this was written by Yuki. …and sadly yes, I have become slightly fond of Sasuke now, thanks to this amazing doujinshi I found on Deviant Art!  
It's called "Konoha High School" and it's better than the actual series in my opinion!**

**Well, thanks for all your support so far! WCMBT is slowly making its way to the end. Sad, huh?**

**It has been very enjoyable working on this fanfics with Amaya and Rose! I never imagined to find such great writers or friends in my life.**

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter everyone!**


	32. Chapter 31

_WCMBT_

_Chapter 32 _

_-with Shizuka-_

Shizuka was lying on a bed unconscious in the Sand Village. She was being watched be the Sand siblings. Everyone was silent for awhile until Kankuro decided to speak up.

"When do you think she'll wake up?" he asked. To be honest, he was getting extremely bored.

"How am I supposed to know?" Temari rolled her eyes.

"I was just asking!" Kankuro defended.

They were silent for a moment.

"I think… that sometimes… the human body sleeps to block out pain… suffering… things that they don't want to experience, but will someday… have to," Gaara said quietly. The three looked down at Shizuka's unconscious form. She was unmoving, and if you wouldn't be able to make out the rise and fall of her chest when breathing, you could have very well assumed that she was dead… which she wasn't, but it seemed like she could have been.

"I wonder what she's trying to block out." Kankuro said to himself.

"It's not hard to imagine. She was being held by the Akatsuki after all," Temari murmured. Gaara said nothing as usual accept to say they he was going to his office. Once he had gone, Kankuro decided he was going to go work on his puppets, leaving Temari to watch over Shizuka.

…..

It seemed like hours before Shizuka finally woke up. Temari was still the only one watching her… well actually, she was half asleep, but as soon as she heard Shizuka stir, she was up immediately.

"W-where am I?" Shizuka looked around. Her face fell when she realized where she was.

"You're in the Sand Village. Don't worry, you're safe from the Akatsuki," Temari told her.

_Safe from the Akatsuki! Yeah right!_ Shizuka thought angrily, "Safe, SAFE! You've got to be kidding me! You guys fricken took me against my will! Maybe I was safe with the Akatsuki! Maybe, even though I've pretty much broken up with the only guy that I've ever felt something about, I wanted to stay! Have you ever thought of that, you idiots?"

Temari's eyes went wide, "B-but, they were going to kill you!"

Shizuka shrugged, "And what are you guys going to do? Find a different way to get my power? Yeah right. If you want it, then you'll have to kill me too. So why is it any different?"

Temari looked down, not saying anything.

"So, you're not going to answer, just as I thought. You and you're village are no different from all of those other fools out there trying to kill my friends and I for power. So, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go have my last meal, and possibly cry for an hour. Then you can kill me," Shizuka folded her arms, and headed for the door.

"… Before you leave this room… I-,"Temari didn't know what to say. She knew the girl was right. Shizuka stood there waiting for her to finish what she was saying, "Nothing, never mind. Just… just go, leave. You have my permission to leave this village."

Shizuka stared. She hadn't thought that Temari would let her go. In fact, she had thought the opposite when Temari had gone silent. Shizuka had thought that as soon as she had tried to go get her last meal Temari would have her locked up without a question, but Shizuka was pleased with the outcome of yelling at Temari. She was free to go, and so she did. And she left without a single look back.

….. (later, still in the same room as Temari)

Gaara and Kankuro walked into the room to see if Shizuka had woken up, but she was already gone.

"Temari, where is she?" Gaara asked.

Temari took a deep breath, knowing that she could be severely punished for what she had done, "I… I let her go…"

She looked away, as both Kankuro and Gaara's eyes went wide, "I was the right thing to do."

Kankuro looked at her angrily, "Temari, are you out of your mind!"

"Kankuro, calm down… I realize now, that Temari is right. What we were doing is no different than the Akatsuki…" Gaara murmured.

"Yes, I realized that… that's why, I had to let her go, and also because… she loved someone in the Akatsuki… even though they might kill her, she'll at least see them one last time, or maybe they will save her. But, at least she might yet have a chance, if that person loves her back." And with that, the three realized that even in the Akatsuki, there was some good.

**Yeah, I know that was kinda crappy, but my brain was dead… oh well. The next chapter will probably be better, don't worry. Oh, and we don't own Naruto.**

**Review please.**


	33. Chapter 32

**Why Criminals Make Bad Teachers **

**Chapter 33**

Zenaku couldn't believe it. Neji Hyūga. The branch member. The orphan.

Hell, she was confused. And frightened. Frightened if was going to die. Jashinist or not, she could die, as shown with…with Hidan. She bit her lip to hold back tears, his name still sent racks of pain through her heart.

She could feel herself being lifted up and her half-way open (She was tired, that's why her eyes where open half-way.) eyes shot open with surprise. Neji had lifted her up on his back, in a piggy-back.

"W-what? Where are you taking me?"

"The Hyūga House." He answered

"Not the Hokage?" She couldn't help but ask.

"No." What a simple answer.

"Why?" She was trembling slightly, and she knew that could feel it. What if…did he know about the crystal? Was he going to kill her and extract it?

"Your abilities are needed…"

Zenaku's mouth went dry.

"To cure a Hyūga member with your electric jutsu." He finished.

"H-huh? Sure, I can do that…" Surprise and relief were clear in her voice.

"Good."

"Thanks…"

"Hn. For what?" Neji asked.

"Not killing me." A small smile grew on her face.

Neji glanced at her dirt-smeared face, small scratches, leafs and twigs in her short chin-length dark blue hair, blood dripping off her many cuts, tearstains on her face. She looked like she'd just been through hell and back.

"Why were you crying?" Neji asked.

"Tears are words the heart can't express." Zenaku quoted her mother, remembering when her mother was crying about her father having to go to jail and when she asked her mother why she was crying, that was her answer.

"You can do the Henge no Jutsu, yes?" Neji questioned suddenly, snapping Zenaku out of her thoughts.

"Huh? Yeah, why?"

"Transform into a Hyūga member." Neji answered.

"What?"

"Make yourself look like a Hyūga." Neji sighed.

"Okay..."

Zenaku make the handsigns and in a poof of smoke she looked…not like Zenaku.

Her hair had grown down to her shoulders and was now a dark chocolate brown. Her eyes were like the Hyūga eyes, only instead of being pale lavender, they were pale blue.

"That'll do if you keep your eyes closed." Neji noted.

"I can do that…" And with that sentence Zenaku fell asleep, her head resting on Neji's shoulder.

Neji glanced at her before looking at Konoha, the walls looming over him.

And he greeted the guards, hiding a smirk when they let them pass.

_- - -…In the Hyūga House place…- - -_

"No…" Zenaku's frantic whispers increased as she slept. Neji tilted his head, watching her and shook her gently. A Hyūga member had came and had healed her wounds and cleaned her of mud and dirt, Zenaku was now wearing a dark blue kimono, golden dragons on the back of it, she had kept her Henge as she slept, luckily.

The nurse's words echoed through Neji's head '_I have healed her wounds but there is nothing I can do for her heart._'

"Huh?" Zenaku's eyes flickered open, "Neji?"

"Zenaku. Come with me." Neji commanded, "For now your name is Keiko Hyūga, and keep using that Henge." He left the room and looked over his shoulder, clearly saying with his eyes that Zenaku should follow.

"Uh…okay.." Zenaku answered, trotting after him like a lost puppy, looking more than confused.

Neji stood suddenly at a door and slid it open, and walked in, Zenaku hesitantly following.

"Senshi-san.." Neji greeted, nodding at a Hyūga member who looked about thirty who was resting a bed.

"Neji…and Keiko, correct?" The man Senshi replied. Zenaku nodded quickly. Neji rolled his eyes.

"Keiko," Neji started, "Senshi-san suffers from arthritis, but with your electric jutsu you can rid him off that." (This is true, a man who had arthritis got cured by a strong electric shock.)

"Sure." Zenaku stepped forward until was standing at Senshi's bed, "Take my hands please Senshi-san." Zenaku held out her hands and watched Senshi's trembling fingers link with hers. Closing her eyes she concentrated her chakra to her core where she _knew _her crystal was_._

'_Okay crystal…I never asked you do anything but this, so please do it, okay? Heal this man, Senshi Hyūga.'_

Zenaku felt a tingle flow through her palm's and into Senshi's. His fingers stopped trembling and let go.

"There," Zenaku smiled at the man, "It's gone."

Senshi gave her a grin, "Thank you." He said simply. Zenaku beamed and nodded. Neji nodded goodbye at the man and left, Zenaku quickly following.

"Hey Neji?" Zenaku asked as they wondered around Konoha aimlessly.

"Yes?"

"Will you take me to the Hokage?"

"Why?"

"To tell her the truth." A note of determination rang clearly in her voice.

_- - -..In with Tsunade and Zenaku...- - -_

Zenaku had removed her Henge and revealed herself to Tsunade. She explained to her everything. And Tsunade finally understood.

"So we have a promise?" Zenaku asked, "You're village will never go after the crystals again?"

"Yes. I swear as a Hokage our Village will keep this promise." Tsunade swore.

"Thank you!"

"Yeah yeah." Tsunade waved a hand at her lazily, "Now get out of here so I can get a drink brat!"

Zenaku laughed and left. She bumped into Shikamaru, Ino and the rest and blinked.

'_They'll kill Hidan…' _Zenaku thought mournfully, '_But Tobi wouldn't lie, it's not like he's-"_

Realization crashed over her.

_Madara. Madara you bastard! It was you who spun those lies. And…_

_We_

_Fell_

_For_

_It.'_

"Shikamaru!" Zenaku cried, "You'll fight an Akatsuki name by the name of Hidan. But whatever you do, don't kill him."

Shikamaru blinked and nodded.

And Zenaku left Konoha, wondering through paths.

"I'll find you, Yuki, Shizuka," She swore, "And we'll get Madara."

She raised her palms and stared at her hands. On both of her palms there was a blue lightning bolt, looking almost as if it would suddenly shoot off, because it looked so real.

"Wow! Is this 'cause I used the cyrstal? Awesome!" Zenaku exclaimed. And with one last glance of wonder at her palms she ran, searching for her friends. And her true love.

'_Hidan.'_

_**Review~**_

**_OMG THANKS FOR ALL THE NICE REVIEWERS OUT THERE! :D_**

**_This was written by Rose._**


	34. Chapter 33

_**Chapter 34**_

**Ok, the girls reunite in this chapter! YAYZ!**

_**-Yuki-**_

Yuki had no idea where she was headed. All she knew was that her brain and heart were telling her to run, so she did. It was exhausting for her, considering she was never one to enjoy running or excerise. That's why Shizuka always teased her that she'd be the "decoy ninja" and get herself killed before she could do something.

But that was all about to change.

"I gotta keep going," Yuki murmured to herself as she passed a stream. "But I should take a break. Just a short one." She stopped at the stream and bent down to take a drink, stifling a yelp when she saw her reflection. She was dirty and beat up, and she looked nothing like she was used to.

"Wow. I look horrid." Yuki couldn't help but laugh a little. "I look like a zombie! RAWR!" She giggled a bit crazily. "Great, now I'm going crazy…"

Yuki got done washing up and continued on her way. _Ugh, I'm tired…Why can't this be easier? _Yuki sighed and stretched her arms high above her head. "I swear, if this takes a long time, I'm gonna kill myself. I have no patience whatsoever."

_**-Shizuka-**_

Shizuka had quickly made her way out of the Sand Village and the desert, and now she was sure she was on the right path to the Akatsuki base.

"Itachi…I need to get to him." Shizuka said out loud as she ran. "Before Sasuke gets to him. But I think I have plenty of time, considering that Hidan and Kakuzu haven't killed Asuma yet. I hope Zenaku can stop them from killing Asuma, he's too nice to die. Plus he has a kid on the way-crap. I'm rambling to myself. Great." She face palmed herself and sighed. "I'm turning into Yuki."

Shizuka stopped and looked around at her surroundings. If her memory was correct, she was in that forest between the Leaf and Sand villages. "If Gai's team pops up out of nowhere, I'm killing him."

Luckily they didn't, and Shizuka kept running.

_**-Zenaku-**_

"Hidan…Hidan…HIDAN!" Zenaku kept saying her love's name over and over to herself as she ran, her feet almost flying off the ground. "Oh Jashin-sama, help me find him! Or at least Shizuka and Yuki…"

Zenaku was pretty sure Hidan's meeting with Asuma was near. It was a feeling, but she was sure of it. She had to get to him and stop it.

"I hope Shikamaru will do what I asked," Zenaku said. "and not chop Hidan's head off. Jashin-sama, I have another prayer; don't let Hidan die."

She suddenly stopped, as a feeling of someone being close. No…two people coming closer. Zenaku looked around wildly, even though the presences didn't feel threatening. They felt more…

"Oh my god." Zenaku breathed as two figures on the opposite sides of her hurriedly burst through the trees.

_**-Yuki, Shizuka, and Zenaku-**_

The three girls stared at each other in disbelief, each of them forming a shape of a triangle some-what where they stood at opposite parts of the clearing. All three were tired, and they had no idea if they were hallucinating or not.

Finally, one spoke, her voice shaking with emotion. "Sh-shizuka-chan? Z-zenaku-chan? Is that…is that you guys?"

"Yuki…" The other two girls whispered in sync. "Yuki-chan…?"

And then all three were hugging, sobbing happily at the sight of their friends. Yuki, Shizuka, and Zenaku were overcome with emotion, and they were all talking at the same time.

"Hold it! Everyone, shut up!" Shizuka commanded, her usual cool demeanor back. "Let's all talk one by one so we can understand. I'll go first." She took a deep breath. "Well, I got captured by the Sand siblings and taken to the Sand Village. But Temari let me go, because I told her that I was in love with an Akatsuki member. She has a nice heart."  
"All the more while she and Shikamaru should be together~!" Yuki sang. Shizuka glared at her, then nodded at Zenaku to go next.

Zenaku sighed. "I got kidnapped by Neji- Yuki, don't even think about interrupting to call him 'Ninja" or say he and Ten Ten are going to be together- and he had me heal a Hyuuga dude with my electric jutsu. Then I explained to Tsunade what was going on, and that we're not evil. So she let me go. Oh, and I also told Shikamaru not to kill Hidan no matter what. Yuki, your turn."

Yuki nodded, closed her eyes, then began speaking. "Ok, so…Kabutto (LOL that's me and Amaya's nickname for him) kidnapped me, and took me to Oro-teme's base. Um…he wanted to use me to make him all healed up and stuff. But I said no. Then Sasuke was gonna kill me, but instead he killed Orochimaru. Oh, and Shizuka…" Yuki turned to her friend. "Sasuke wanted to know where Itachi was. I lied and said on a mission in the Leaf Village. You'd better make sure those two don't meet up before they're supposed to."

Shizuka looked down. "…don't worry, I'll make sure those two become lovable siblings once more."

Zenaku and Yuki sweatdropped and looked at each other. "Uh, Shizuka? That's kinda a creepy thought…"

"It is, isn't it?" Shizuka smiled. "Well, I'm going to make it happen."

"Hey, guys? What should we do about Madara?" Yuki asked, instantly breaking the happy and light mood. "I mean….if we go back to the Akatsuki without a plan, he'll kill us!"

"Nice job, Yuki. You ruined the moment." Shizuka deadpanned, punching her. Yuki fell down hard onto the ground with a large red bump quickly forming on her head, her legs sticking up in the air and twitching.

"Ow…" Yuki moaned, twitching even more. "That hurt…"

"It was supposed to hurt. It's called an ass-kicking." (_Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen_ reference right there)

"I have an idea!" Zenaku suddenly jumped up. "We all hate Madara the evil mastermind, right But we can tolerate Tobi the good boy!"  
"Yeah." Shizuka nodded slowly. Yuki nodded painfully from her spot on the ground.

"Well, we could seal Madara up somehow! Like, how the tailed demons are sealed. Then all there was left would be Tobi!" Zenaku explained excitedly.

"Holy crap Zen-chan! That's an awesome idea!" Yuki jumped up beside Zenaku, hugging her happily. "But how the hell are we gonna do that?"  
"Leave that up to me." Shizuka said, smirking like Itachi. "I'm sure…with my genius-ness…I can figure that out really quickly."

"Well, you'd better get thinkin', Shi-Shi." Yuki grinned and slung her arm around Shizuka. " 'Cause we're gonna head to the Akatsuki base ASAP!"

Shizuka punched Yuki's head once more, an anger vein throbbing on her forehead. "Two things, Yuki. One: never call me 'Shi-Shi' again. And two: do NOT touch me."

"FER CRYIN' OUT LOUD, STOP PUNCHIN' MEHZ!" Yuki yelled angrily, rubbing the second large bump on her head.

"You know, I may have missed you two, but I missed scenes like this even more." Zenaku smirked, giggling when Yuki began screaming profanities at her.

"Zenaku, I couldn't agree more." Shizuka smirked also, laughing when Yuki turned her stream of violent cursing towards her.

"YOU TWO THINK THIS IS FUNNY? IT'S NOT, IT HURTS! THE LEAST YOU COULD DO IS NOT PUNCH ME OR MAKE FUN OF ME FOR AT LEAST AN HOUR!" Yuki screeched.

Shizuka rolled her eyes and kicked Yuki in the shins, causing the purple-haired girl to fall down once more. "You didn't say anything about kicking." Shizuka said innocently when Yuki glared at her. "So I just went for it."

"…ok, I didn't mention kicking….BUT IT'S STILL OFF LIMITS FOR ANOTHER HOUR!"

"Yuki, just think of it this way; Shizuka does this to you because deep down, she loves you." Zenaku said, causing Yuki's face to grin happily. Yuki sprang up and hugged Shizuka. "Aw, Shi-chan, you love mehz?"

"No. Now get off you idiot. Before I kick AND punch you at the same time." Shizuka growled.

Yuki leapt away quickly and rubbed the back of her head in embarrassment. "Um…heh-heh…" She pointed towards the direction of the Akatsuki base. "Anyways, let's get a move on! TALLY HO, MY GOOD COMRADES! TO THE BAT CAVE!"

Shizuka rolled her eyes and smacked Yuki upside the head in annoyance, who protested with a yelp. "Let's just go, you moron. Without the retarded commentary."

"Yep. I definitely missed moments like this." Zenaku murmured with a grin, and followed her friends.

**Okeyz! I tried to make this funny and lighthearted. This was written by Yuki! Oh and…um…sorry if we've been updating a lot lately, and you can't keep up with the reviews, but…we've been getting lots of ideas and we need to post them before they float out of our heads!**

**Anyways, I wrote this chapter while watching episodes 1-3 of an anime called "Black Cat"! It's amazing! Train is so kawaii~ and Sven is hysterical! WATCH IT DAMMIT!**

**And lastly, I have a favor to ask of you guys, our lovely little reviewers.**

**Amaya and I made a ItachiXOC and a Madara/TobiXOC fanfics during school, and we put it up on Fanfiction. Can you guys read that and see what you think? We have it all written out on paper and it's finished.**

**Thanks you guys! And thanks for getting us to 200+ reviews!**

**HUGS AND COOKIES FOR YOU ALL~! XD**


	35. Chapter 34

_WCMBT_

_**Chapter 35 (even though it SHOULD be chapter 34 because there were two chapter 19's)**_

_**-Yuki, Zenaku, and Shizuka-**_

The girls had made camp, and where now asleep except for Shizuka. She still needed to come up with a plan to defeat Madara, even if it would almost be impossible to do so. Still, she had to keep trying. How would they ever be able to seal Madara away? She let out a sigh of frustration. She didn't even know how to seal anything! This was going to be probably the worst fight ever. They were so going to die.

But, thinking of how badly Madara was going to beat them up just made her angry. She wanted to make a fool out of Madara while kicking his ass. And then, she had an idea. It was so stupid yet it even made her smirk a little. This was going to be good… well, until the 'making him look like a fool thing went away.' That part of the scheme was NOT going to enable them to seal him away. If only their kekkai genkais were able to do something like that. But, who was to say that it couldn't? None of them had ever tried to seal anything away, so why couldn't they try now?

Shizuka closed her eyes, trying to look deep into herself, trying to find the crystal inside of her, searching for anything that might hint to there being a power of some sort that would allow them to seal Madara. And then she found it, just as she had expected her own kekkai genkai was able to do such a thing. It made sense, after all, by sealing something away you would be sealing the spirit of the object, and isn't that what being psychic dealt with? People's spirits?

An almost evil grin spread across Shizuka's face. Yes, this plan was going to be good. And with that, Shizuka lie down beside her already sleeping friends, and fell asleep, dreaming of Madara's own hilarious yet terrible defeat. Heh, sucker.

_**-the next day-**_

The three girls had snuck into the hideout seemingly unnoticed, which was weird because you would have thought that S-ranked criminal ninjas would have spotted you right away, right? But, I guess even guys as young as the Akatsuki could even have senior moments.

Once Shizuka had told Zenaku and Yuki about her plan, they were more than eager to get started. (Yeah, I know that sounded perverted, but it wasn't meant to be!) The friends snuck into the room where they had only been playing _Rock Band_ a few days ago, that room brought back great memories. Sure enough, everything was where they had left it. Yuki, being the last one in, shut the door behind them, and they soon got started on setting up for their giant master plan.

-_**Five minutes later-**_

Loud, driving music could be heard all over the base, reaching the ears of the masked man called Tobi. Madara knew it right then. They were back. He narrowed his eyes underneath hid mask angrily, and then strode toward the _Rock Band_ room quickly. He opened the door, ready to take them down easily, but the girls had other plans, and they had been expecting him.

They finished the song they had been playing, and a new one came on. The familiar tune of "Eye of the Tiger" blasted around the room. By singing the lyrics, the girls told Madara exactly what the intended to do. They would survive, even if Madara was watching them all with his own "eye of the tiger." This made Madara even angrier.

"Enough of this!" he roared, but they kept on playing, this time advancing toward him in a menacing way.

"_It's the eye of the tiger!_" Shizuka sang, looming before him. Her eyes then glowed that deep purple of hers, "It's over." And before he could react, she was in his mind. He was virtually paralyzed, now that Shizuka had a firm grip on his mind, controlling it so that he couldn't move, "Okay ladies, I say it's time to give the famous Madara Uchiha what he's been asking for ever since he told us those lies."

"Hell yeah!" Zenaku pumped her fist in the air.

"Awesome, it's just so happens that I have my ass wuppin gloves on and there's a person in need of an ass wuppin right here!," Yuki shouted happily, "What a coincidence."

**Because of unnecessary violence portrayed in this scene, this scene will be replaced with a grassy field.** (Heh, Naruto abridged)

(Insert Grassy field picture)

"Punch him!"

"Kick him while he's down!"

"Seal his soul, goddammit!"

"Kick his… you know!"

-_**1 hour later-**_

"Okay, sealing jutsu!" Shizuka yelled, after doing various hand signs. There was a bright blinding light, and the three girls were thrown back. The light faded.

"H-holy crap… d-did it work?" Yuki sat up.

"I h-hope so, that took… most of my chakra," Shizuka coughed.

"Uh, guys, I think it did." Zenaku pointed to a disheveled Tobi.

"Ehhhhh, why does Tobi hurt so much…?" Tobi asked in a sort of whining, in pain voice.

"Oh… um, you tripped… down the stairs," Yuki said hastily.

"Yeah… we just brought you in here after you fell," Zenaku told him, playing along.

"Yeah, you probably broke a few bones too," Shizuka agreed, "It was a very bad fall."

"So that's why Tobi's nose is pointing in a different direction," Tobi said in amazement.

"Yes Tobi, that must be it."

**Well, I hope you enjoyed this chapter… I uh, thought it up while playing **_**Rock Band**_**… that explains a lot of this. This chapter was written by Amaya, and she nor Yuki or Rose, owns Naruto. Oh, and thank you all who have reviewed! It is appreciated!**


	36. Chapter 35

_**Chapter 35**_

The three girls were now happily cheering their defeat of Madara when Zetsu walked into the Rock Band room. "Hmmm…so you're back. **Took you b****es long enough! Your**_** boyfriends **_are fighting with various ninjas."

"What?" Zenaku leapt up and shook the plant man. "Where? Who? WHY?"

"You're forgetting 'when' and 'how'." Yuki giggled, but shut up when Shizuka glared at her.

"Deidara's fighting Sasuke…**Tobi you idiot, you should be there.**" Zetsu said to Tobi, who ran out the door screaming "SENPAI! TOBI'S SORRY HE'S GONNA BE LATE, HE FELL!"

"And Hidan's fighting some Leaf guy…**Abuma and…Shimmikaru? No, Asuma and Shikamaru! Yeah that's who.** They fought once before, but now they're really going at it. (for the purpose of this fanfics Asuma didn't get killed in the first fight with Hidan And I think Itachi is waiting for Sasuke." Zetsu finished.

"But…the time for the fights are all messed up." Yuki said in confusion. "Do you guys think it's because of us?"  
"Probably." Shizuka nodded. "Now we should all shut the hell up and go save those idiots from doing something stupid."  
"Ah, you're right!" Zenaku smacked her forehead in annoyance of herself. "Come on! Thanks, Zetsu, for telling us all that!"

The three girls hurried to outside of the Akatsuki base, bid each other farewell and good luck, and went off to find their beloveds.

_**~Magical time skip to Zenaku finding Hidan because I'm too lazy to type all the running out~**_

Zenaku panted as she watched the fight intently and worriedly from her hiding spot in the bushes. Kakuzu just stood there, watching Hidan get the crap beat out of him. It made Zenaku angry, but she knew she had no choice but to let the fight go on until she had a chance to intervene.

"Dammit Kakuzu! Do something!" Hidan spat out at his partner. "This f***ing hurts!"  
"Hidan, I thought you enjoyed the pain." Kakuzu said calmly as Asuma slashed at the Jashinist with his knives. Shikamaru stood off awhile away, looking confused on what to do. Evidently, he was trying to do what Zenaku asked, but he was worried for his sensei.

"Gah! Just shut the f*** up and let me do all the f***ing fighting s*** you bastard!" Hidan cursed angrily.

"That's what I'm doing you stupid asshole."  
"SHUT YOUR GODDAMNED HOLE KAKUZU!"

"Oh Hidan…" Zenaku shook her head. "It's 'Jashin-damned' not 'God-damned'."

"Asuma-sensei! You should stop the fight; it's useless!" Shikamaru yelled nervously.

"What do you mean Shikamaru?" Asuma paused long enough to answer, then went back to fighting.

"A girl…told me to make sure you don't die! And to not kill the Akatsuki member. I want to…honor her request." Shikamaru explained slowly.

"He did remember! Go Shika!" Zenaku cheered quietly from her hiding spot.

"A girl? What…?" Asuma asked.

"Her name's Zenaku. Tsunade had Neji kidnap her, but she's actually a good person. The Akatsuki don't want her for power, except one person. And he's not important right now. But these guys that we're fighting here, right now? They're good. Well, as good as S-ranked criminals can get." Shikamaru walked into the battle, but Hidan, Kakuzu (even though he wasn't doing anything but watching…), and Asuma had all stopped to stare at him in utter surprise.

"Z-zenaku? Did you just say…Zenaku?" Hidan asked, his voice straining to sound normal.

Shikamaru nodded. "We let her go, and now she's out there trying to find you, I think. But this place is harsh…she may not have survived. She was already heart-broken, and her wounds, although healed, were putting a strain on her."

"SHE'S NOT DEAD! DON'T YOU EVER SAY THAT!" Hidan roared, attacking Shikamaru in a fit of rage. He punched the Leaf ninja madly. "SHE…IS…NOT…DEAD!"  
Zenaku decided it was time to jump in, and that's exactly what she did. Zenaku leapt out from her hiding space and ran over to the group. "Hidan, stop! I'm right here; I'm fine!"

Hidan stopped punching Shikamaru and looked at Zenaku, his face contorted with rage. Them once he saw it was Zenaku, his face emptied of all anger and he hugged her tightly. "Zenaku…thank Jashin you're all right…"

"Let Asuma and Shikamaru go, you guys. Then we can go home." Zenaku murmured as she hugged Hidan back. "I'm exhausted and all I want is a long nap."

"Of course. Kakuzu, you heard the girl; time to go." Hidan stood up and apologized to the Lead ninjas, and the three Akatsuki members disappeared.

Shikamaru rubbed his bruised face and looked at Asuma. "Asuma? I'm tired. Can we go now?"  
"Yes Shikamaru. We can."

_**~Another magical time skip, this time to Yuki~**_

Yuki could hear Deidara's crazed laughter and knew she had come right at the time where he was going to blow himself up and attempt to take Sasuke with him. _Am I too late, though?_ Yuki thought as she crashed through the trees, desperate to get to Deidara before he went boom._ I can't be too late! I just can't! I need to save him. I need to save him. I need to…_

"DEI-DAR-A!" Yuki screamed hysterically as she burst through the trees to a clearing. "Don't do it! Don't blow yourself up!"

Deidara was sitting on the forest floor with one hand frozen over the mouth on his chest. He was about to take the stitches off, it seemed. Sasuke stared at Yuki, and recognition dawned across the Uchiha's face. "It's you! That girl-oh crap. This is who you told me not to kill, isn't it?"

"Yuki, un?" Deidara whispered, narrowing his eyes. "It can't be you…This is your doing, isn't it?" Deidara hurled the accusation at Sasuke, his voice filled with venom. "It's a genjutsu, un! Well, I won't fall for one of those again!"

"No, Deidara! It's really me! I escaped Orochimaru, Sasuke helped me!" Yuki ran to the bomber's side, placing her hand on his shoulder. "Feel me. I'm real, see? I'm here. I'm ok. So you can stop fighting, and come home with me. Please…please Deidara…I missed you so much…!" There were tears beginning to fall from her eyes, and Yuki didn't make an effort to wipe them away.

"It is you, isn't it, un?" Deidara whispered, his eyes widening as a tear fell onto his bare skin, the drop of salty liquid soaking into his skin. "Oh my god…Yuki…" He hugged her, despite the fact that every fiber of his being screamed in protest at the sudden movement. His whole body hurt, but his heart was full with nothing but relief and love.

"Yes, Deidara. It's me." Yuki nodded, burying her face in Deidara's neck. "Let's go home now, ok?"  
"Wait. Just wait a minute, un." Deidara unwrapped his arms from Yuki and looked at Sasuke. "You're going to go kill your brother now, aren't you?"

Sasuke nodded. "Yes. Don't try and stop me."

"But… Sasuke! Your brother killed the clan for your own good! He was trying to-" Sasuke cut Yuki off, saying "Be quiet, Yuki. I have to do this. No amount of excuses will ever change my mind. Goodbye." And with that, the younger Uchiha disappeared into the trees.

"Oh no…this is bad! Deidara, what do we do?" Yuki gulped nervously.

"Nothing, un." Deidara smoothed her hair and kissed her cheek in assurance. "Shizuka will be there, right?"  
"H-how did you know?"

"Because I had a feeling, un. Shizuka will stop Sasuke. If anyone can change that emo brat's look on life, it's her." Deidara smiled down at Yuki, who immediately felt better. "Now, didn't you say you wanted to go home un?"  
"Yes." Yuki nodded. She pressed her forehead against Deidara's bare chest and inhaled his scent. "So let's go."

The two ran off, both certain Shizuka and Itachi would be all right.

_**~And finally….magical timeskip to Shizuka~**_

It was raining. That pissed Shizuka off. She just wanted to find Itachi and Sasuke, make the two of them realize they needed to be brothers again, and go home. But inside, she was scared. Almost terrified, even. What if she didn't get to Itachi in time? And when she finally did get to him, what if he was…?

_No. I need to stop being pessimistic. I can find them. I WILL find them. And then I'll make every Itachi fangirl jealous by saving his life; something none of them could do, but they stilled dreamed about it._

Shizuka smirked at the thought of crazy Itachi fangirls trying to claw at her while they watched a passionate and heated make-out scene between her and Itachi. Then, realizing that she was thinking that, she shook her head, trying to get rid of the thought.

"I need to concentrate on sensing Itachi, not daydreaming about him. …but that's so damn easy to do…" Shizuka sweatdropped despite herself and sighed. "Great. I'm getting ADD-wait, what's that?" Shizuka stopped her rant with herself and peered into the distance, where she saw two figures fighting. "Oh no...it's already starting! Damn it, the stupid time is all messed up now because of our coming to this world! And now the fight came quicker than I thought it would!"

Shizuka propelled herself forward towards the two figures, when she suddenly stopped in her tracks. Sasuke was staring at Itachi, a look of murderous anger mixed with surprise plastered to his face.  
"What…? Itachi, you liar! That's not why you killed everyone!" Sasuke yelled angrily. "I'll kill you!"  
"Sasuke…forgive me. But I did all of it to save you. You may have hated me all these years for it, but I'm telling you the truth." Itachi said sadly. "I'm so proud of you…you grew stronger than I ever thought you would. And for you to kill me…I understand. Go ahead, little brother. I forgive you."

"NO! ITACHI!" Shizuka screeched, throwing herself in front of the two brothers. "SASUKE! DON'T DO IT!"

"Shizuka…!" Itachi's voice held nothing but surprise. "What are you-"

"Be quiet. Just be quiet! Sasuke, what Itachi says is true. The Hokage had him murder the Uchihas to save you from becoming a weapon. You owe him your life!"

"You're friends with that purple haired girl, aren't you? Yuki." Sasuke said, narrowing his eyes.

"Yes. And I'm also in love with your brother. Now please; don't kill Itachi." Shizuka begged, steeling herself so she wouldn't cry. "Don't kill him. Madara Uchiha is the real instigator of everything; he's the one to be angry at. I'm sure Itachi told you all about Madara."

Sasuke was silent. Then, he put his sword away and sighed. "Fine. I guess I won't kill him."  
Shizuka and Itachi's eyes widened and they both said in sync, "R-really?"

"Really." Sasuke nodded grudgingly. "I guess I understand. I'll just have to kill Madara Uchiha instead."

Shizuka laughed nervously. "Er…thing is…you can't because he's not really…here anymore."

"What?" Sasuke blinked in confusion.

"Shizuka, what are you talking about?" Itachi asked.

"No more Madara! He's gone now! In limbo! MUAHAHAHAH!" Shizuka laughed evilly. "Listen, I'll explain everything to you on the way home, ok?"

"Can someone please tell me what's going on?" Sasuke deadpanned.

"Madara Uchiha is now sealed away for all eternity, and only three people can break the seal; me, Yuki, or Zenaku. And we sure as hell are NOT going to free him." Shizuka explained hurriedly. "Sorry Sasuke, but you'll just have to live with it. Now bye!"

And so Itachi and Shizuka poofed away, leaving poor Sasuke standing there all alone. Sasuke thought for a minute, then grinned evilly. "Ok then. I guess my next target will be…"

Sasuke started to walk away, grinning psychotically as he hatched a plan in his head. "…Karin!"

**LOL Sasuke has a hit list now. GO SASUKE-KUN! KILL THAT B**** KARIN! AND MAKE SURE SAKURA DOESN'T SAVE HER THIS TIME! (if that's a spoiler for some people, sorry!)**

**This chapter was written by Yuki~!**

**It took awhile, because I kept having damn brain farts. :P**

**Hope you all enjoyed it!**


	37. Chapter 36

**Chapter 36**

- - -…Six Years Later…- - -(in a new apartment complex owned by the new reformed cheerful, happy, Akatsuki…who don't like killing. And Kakuzu is the guy who takes the money for the apartment. …he would.)  
"Uncle Sasori~" Sang a four-year-old girl evilly, brushing messy silver chin-length hair out of her face, "Uncle Sasori~"

"Do I even want to know Emi?" Sasori asked, his eyebrows twitching. (HE'S NOT DEAD ANYMORE! HUZZAH!)

"Ichigo-chan and I made art! Come see, come see!" Emi tugged on Sasori's sleeve impatiently, ice-blue eyes sparkling happily, "C'mon Uncle Sasori! Hurry up!"

"I'm coming!" Sasori snapped and ran a hand over his face, "I never should have volunteered to babysit…"  
Emi dragged him to the living room and showed him little clay animals.

"See, see? Whatcha think?" Emi asked excitedly.

"They're….good." Sasori answered truthfully, "I'm going to get something to read, behave, okay?"

Ichigo and Emi nodded and Sasori left.

"Emi-chan, where's Mummy and Daddy?" Ichigo asked, her bright green eyes showing obvious curiosity. Such curiosity for a two-year-old.

"Out on an ABU mission…" Emi replied, modeling a small cat with clay.

"It's ANBU not ABU." remarked a soft-spoken three-year old boy from the corner of the room, "Right, Yoru?"

"Tamotsu is right." Yoru agreed, her shoulder-length dark blue hair framing her face, "I'm…one...two…years old right Emi-onee-chan?"

"Yeah. I'm your big sister, I know all!" Emi struck a pose and fell over, "Ouchee!"

Ichigo giggled and brushed back her blonde hair, streaked with purple, out of her face.

Yoru's purple orbs lit up when Tamotsu sat closer to her.

"Mama and Papa are back! We're in here!" Emi called and Yoru chimed in softly. Tamotsu blinked his onyx orbs slowly, his lips twitching in a silent smile.

"Wassup peeps!" Zenaku burst into the room and scooped Yoru and Emi into her arms, beaming, "How's my little daughters, hm?" Hidan wrapped an arm around Zenaku's waist, grinning.

"Ichigo! Miss my awesome self?" Yuki bent down and cuddled Ichigo, a childish grin on her face as she kissed Ichigo's forehead.

"Hey, un." Deidara bent down besides Yuki and hugged Yuki and Ichigo, "Been doing art, un?"

"Yeah! Uncle Sasori let us! He's still super grumpy though!" Ichigo nodded enthusiastically.

"Hello." Tamotsu greeted Itachi and Shizuka quietly, "Welcome back Mom, Dad."

"Just like your father." Shizuka murmered, scooping Tamotsu into her arms and ruffled his mop of raven-black hair.

"He'll be a great ninja one day." Itachi noted.

"So, how was your mission?" Sasori asked, walking into the room.

"So how was your mission?" Sasori asked, walking into the room.  
"Oh we so kicked ass!" Yuki pumped her fist. Shizuka glared at her, and handed Tomatsu to Itachi.  
"Yuki, bad language is a horrible example for the kids!" Shizuka scolded, punching her.  
Itachi stared at Shizuka, and murmured quietly to himself, "Ah, I love it when she's like that..."  
Tomatsu turned to his father, "Father, you really like mother don't you?" he whispered.  
"Yes, I love your mother," Itachi told him, also ruffling his hair. Tomatsu gave a small smile, and leaned in toward Itachi's ear, "I like someone too, Daddy." He whispered.  
Itachi rose an eyebrow, "Oh really?"  
Tomatsu gave a small nod, "Yeah, I like..." he trailed off, going a slight shade of pink, and then whispered again, "I like Yoru." He then blushed again, embarrassed, and then giggled softly. Itachi smiled at him, and again ruffled his hair.  
"Just don't be kissing any girls yet, okay?"  
Tomatsu blushed again slightly, "Okay father."

Just then, there was a knock on the door. Yuki walked over to it and opened it up. "…holy crap guys! It's…it's…-,"

"Is it the pizza man? It'd better be, I ordered that pizza an hour ago," Sasori muttered angrily.

"No! Would I say 'holy crap' if it was a pizza dude? IT'S SASUKE! …and a girl…." Yuki stepped aside to let the two people in.

"A girl?" Itachi rose an eyebrow.

"Really?" Tomatsu turned to look at the door, "How did Uncle Sasuke get a girl before me?"

"That's so cute, I'm not even commenting," Zenaku whispered to Hidan.

"Hey guys. What's up?" Sasuke held his hand up in a greeting. "This is Kagami Hikari. She's…my fiancé."

"Oh my god! Seriously?" Shizuka shot up and clapped the younger Uchiha on the back. "Thank god it's not Sakura… and thank god it's a girl, I thought you were gay."

Sasuke glared at his sister-in-law. "That's not funny, if you're referring to me and Naruto when we….yeah. Anyway, Kagami, say hi to everyone. This is my crazed family."

Kagami Hikari was a slim, medium height girl with light pink hair that reached her shoulder blades. (LOL Sasuke always goes for the girl with pink hair)

She had brown eyes, and was wearing a Sand Village headband that was tied around her arm. (like Shikamaru does) She wore black pants and a gray shirt over a white, long sleeved shirt. All in all, there was pretty much no color except for her hair, but oh well, emos like Sasuke like dark colors like black and gray.

Kagami gave a small wave, "Uh, hi."

"Hey." Everyone said back to her.

"Miss Kagami lady, you can be my bestest friend!" Emi screamed happily.

"Mine too!" Yoru clapped her hands. When Tomatsu saw Yoru befriending his uncle's fiancé he immediately spoke up too.

"I guess you can be my friend, but don't expect me to like you."

"Aw, ignore Tomatsu-kun, he's just grumpy 'cause he didn't have his nap or emo fudge today," Ichigo giggled. (and the emo fudge is mentioned once again! …it's been awhile since it has. It lives on!)

"Ok…thank you." Kagami smiled warmly at the children.

"So Kagami, wanna go out for some ramen?" Yuki asked. "Because before you become a part of this big, eccentric family, ya gotta go for ramen with us. It's a tradition!"

"Yuki, no it's not, un." Deidara pointed out.

"Well…it is now!"

"I think you're thinking of the go eat dango tradition," Itachi spoke up.

"No, it's ramen!"  
"Dango."

"Ramen!"  
"Dango."

"…RAMEN DANGO!"

"That's not a food." Shizuka sighed in exasperation.

"D.A.N.G.O!" Itachi carried on the argument.

"…ramen…"

"Mongekyo Sharingan."

"NOOOOOOOO! Why Itachi, why!"

"That is so not funny," Sasuke glared at both of them.

"Well kids, I guess we're all going out for dango tonight."Hidan said to the children. "Sasori, you want to gather the rest of the Akatsuki for this?"

"Nah. I'm too lazy." Sasori stretched his arms over his head. "Besides, have fun finding a dango shop big enough to fit everyone."

"Dan-Dan, he has a point. Let's just go with who's here. Minus Sir Poopypants over there." Zenaku directed the nickname towards Sasori, who in turn sputtered out, "That doesn't even make sense! I can't go to the bathroom, I'm a PUPPET!"

And with that, the group left Sasori there and went to get fat on dango, THEE END!

**Yeah….sorry for the late update guys! We've been having brainfarts galore on how to end this. -Yuki**

**Yeah, but now we end it all! (Holds knife to heart) I'm ending it all! -Amaya**

**Er…Amaya seems to have finally lost it. 0.o –Yuki**

**Have not, I'm acting all emo like Sasuke- Amaya**

**Yeah, just keep telling yourself that. Anyways….the last chapter was a collaboration of all of us. Rose typed the first half, and me and Amaya typed the last half! –Yuki**

**Yeah, we all typed it to make it extra special with rainbows and sunshine-Amaya**

**And amazingly…this was pretty short despite the fact all three of us worked on it….and the only reason there's author notes from me&Amaya is because she's over at my house. So therefore Rose can't work on it. SORRY ROSE-CHAN! –Yuki**

**ZE END!-Amaya**

**Yeah. We should end this before the author note becomes longer than the actual story-line. BYE GUYS! WE LOVE YOU ALL! CHECK OUT OUR OTHER FANFICS IF YOU WANT! XD –Yuki**

**(Oh BTW…Yuki and Rose may be putting up a Fullmetal Alchemist fic up. Depends on their extreme laziness, but in the mean time, read "Oh Crap" it's kick butt.)**


	38. IMPORTANT

**IMPORTANT: **

**Guys, you know that we mentioned an FMA fanfics? Well, it's up! Check it out please, as well as our other one-shots, and review!**

**-Rose**

**P.S. Thanks for all of the reviews~ **


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